Relationships

9 Things You Shouldn’t Do At The Beginning Of A Relationship

The beginning of a relationship is one of the most exhilarating moments for a couple. It’s okay to be all over each other, but avoid letting your excitement ruin a blossoming romance.

When you enter a new relationship, it's understandable to feel as if you're on cloud nine. After all, you're no longer single and you'll never know if your new partner is the one you're destined to spend forever with.

Simply put, it's normal to feel excited and hopeful of the future your relationship may have.

Because of the emotions that you feel, it's likely that you'll be overtaken by these strong feelings. When this happens, you may end up doing a number of things nobody should do at the beginning of a relationship.

We've rounded up the top nine things you should avoid doing in your blossoming relationship.

1. Playing hard to get

couple fighting

While it's always best not to be too available for your new boyfriend (men love the chase), it's not a good thing to play hard to get. Your boyfriend will surely notice it, and it won't make a good impression on him.

So, if you're not really busy, answer his text messages or calls. If you are available for a date when he asks, say yes. Just be honest, and stay between being easy and playing hard to get to make sure the relationship moves smoothly.

2. Being too clingy and needy

Since your relationship is new and you don't know much about your new guy yet, it's only natural to want to spend every waking moment with him. You want to get to know him, and you're hungry for his presence and all the things that attracted you to him in the first place.

However, your boyfriend needs to breathe and do things on his own. Even if he really likes you, he still has to have his me-time. More importantly, he can't be with you 24/7, so don't pressure him into spending every moment with you.

Let him do his thing, and you'll be amazed at how he'll want to be with you more because you're not suffocating him.

3. Being too jealous and possessive

jealous woman

Your boyfriend will likely have friends of the opposite sex whom he still sees and talks to. Don't prevent him from doing so because it's inappropriate. Plus, you don't want him to think that you're the crazy girlfriend, right?

Don't be jealous of these friends, because before you became his girlfriend, they were there for him and were his friends already. You probably also have friends of the opposite sex whom you don't wish to ditch for your new boyfriend.

Be understanding and know your boundaries. It's a different story, however, if he's flirting with these “friends” and not just being friendly.

4. Forgetting your BFFs

Just because you're no longer single does not mean that you can forget about the besties who have helped you to survive the single life. Make it a point to see them and meet them for dates you agreed to before you met your new boyfriend. Never blow them off because of your new-found guy.

5. Expecting your boyfriend to read your mind

angry couple

It's easy to assume that your new guy knows what's going on inside that mind of yours, but he doesn't. This is why you should never expect him to be a mind reader. You have to communicate your expectations and needs to him, and he should do the same thing so that the relationship can flourish.

If you always expect him to know exactly what you need, you'll be in for disappointment. You'll then secretly harbor resentment, and the poor guy won’t even know about it because you don’t tell him anything. This can turn the relationship from sweet to sour in an instant.

6. Lying

In an effort to make ourselves seem better than we really are, we sometimes distort the truth. This mostly happens when you're with someone new who, you want to impress.

The problem with lying at the beginning is that it all starts with a small lie. To cover up that lie, you'll be forced to make another lie until such time that you have to lie constantly so that you don’t get caught in the previous lies.

This is something your new partner does not deserve, so don't make them suffer because of your issues. Be honest because they deserve the truth.

7. Talking about the future constantly

You just started dating so initiating talks about the future, like moving in together or settling down, is just inappropriate. While it's something that can warm the heart of your significant other (given the affection you obviously have for him), it can also place unnecessary pressure on him (because he may not feel the same way just yet).

So, don't freak your new guy out or scare him away by this kind of talk. Just chill and enjoy the ride. You can talk about how many kids you’ll have and when you want to start a family with him when the right time comes.

8. Losing your sense of self

sad woman posing

Often, people stop pursuing their passions when they enter a new relationship. They let their world revolve around their new significant other. Don't let this happen to you.

Even if you want to spend all your time with your partner, find time to do what makes you happy and fulfills you as a person. If your partner shares the same interests as you, you can bond over them—something that can benefit your relationship in the long run.

9. Ignoring signs of trouble

If your partner shows any signs that he may have violent tendencies, do not shrug it off. Be sure to keep your eyes open and look for other signs that will confirm that he has issues.

This way, you can spot them as early as possible, while you aren't yet too invested in the relationship. It's easier to walk away when you haven't fallen in love with him yet than when you've already given him your all.

You can make many mistakes at the beginning of a new relationship, so it's only wise that you learn from them. Better yet, learn from other people's mistakes and use this guide so you know what to do during the crucial stage of a blossoming relationship.

Do you have any other ideas about things that people in new relationships do at its beginning but shouldn't? Share your thoughts in the comments.

About the author

Maine Belonio

Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus.

Add Comment

Click here to post a comment