We’ve all been there before, met someone we really like in May only to have it end in September. Maybe you were going to different colleges, or perhaps the heat of the summer just got to your brain and you couldn’t resist spending a few sleepless nights in this guy’s arms. It’s okay.
There are many times when a summer fling is exactly what the name entails and it ends just as swiftly as it began. However, sometimes a fling turns into something more. Here’s how you know if a summer fling can last.
#1 How Often Do You Meet?
One of the biggest questions to ask yourself is how often do you and your fling meet up? Is this a “we see each other every day” situation or an “only on weekends when we’re both wasted” kind of scenario?
If you and your fling meet more than once or twice a week, then it’s possible this could turn into something more. Anyone who’s interested in someone will go out of their way to make time for that person, and a fling usually only makes time for sex. Sure, there’s dinner and a movie involved, but the sex is still the most important part of the agenda with a summer fling (or any other kind of fling really).
#2 Are You Seeing Other People?
I don’t know about you, but even when I’m friends with benefits with someone, I still tend to favor monogamy. Still, sometimes a fling means you and the other person have the opportunity to see whomever you want whenever you want.
If you and your fling have an open relationship, then it’s really just a fling. On the other hand, if you and your fling are monogamous, even when the temptation and the chance is there to be with someone else, then you might have something that could last. A man who cares about you will only want to be with you (and he certainly won’t want to share you with someone else).
#3 Is There a Big Age Difference?
I know not many people mention the age thing (because, let’s face it, a big age difference is still taboo), but the truth is there can be a really amazing fling with a huge age gap. I’ve dated older and younger men, and the sex is always better with both.
However, I’ve found that huge age gaps are difficult to turn into something serious because of the difference in maturity levels. Also, the generation gap can make things complicated. For example, if you grew up in the 90s and he grew up in the 2010s then he’s not going to understand your television references or jokes of the times.
Can a summer fling last if he’s much older or younger than you? It can be hard to have a relationship with someone who doesn’t get your jokes, believe me. These age gapped summer flings would be harder to make into something more. Not impossible, of course, but much harder.
#4 Be Honest, Is It Just Sex?
There comes a time when you really just need to be honest with yourself and tell the truth: Is it just sex? People (not just women, but men, too) sometimes confuse sex with love, or they get emotionally attached to someone they’re having sex with. It’s definitely a common occurrence.
Of course, it gets even more complicated with a summer fling. Summer flings are meant to be fun, romantic, and absolutely amazing! Imagine that you’ve got this great guy who is always polite, always attentive, is full of desire for you, and you’re sleeping with each other as often as you can get naked together. That’s a definite recipe for confusing sex and emotions.
What you really need to ask yourself (and ask him, too) is whether or not it’s just sex between the two of you. Most importantly, you have to be prepared for his answer. If it is just sex and you want more, then you need to let go and move on. Take it as a beautiful fling and hold it fondly in your memories. If, on the other hand, he also cares about you, then your summer fling can actually last.
#5 Are You Both Interested In a Relationship?
Finally, no matter what else happens, no matter if there’s an age gap or similarity, monogamy or not, and no matter what other people might think of your summer situation, the only real way to tell if your summer fling can last is to decide if you’re both interested in a relationship.
If you and your guy are both interested in a committed relationship only to each other, and the both of you are ready to handle whatever difficulties that might arise from geographical distance, age difference, or other relationship stress factors, than yes your fling might become the real thing.
When I was younger, I had a summer fling with a guy a couple of years older than me. It wasn’t meant to be anything more than a good time. We enjoyed each other’s company, we had fun going out together, and we had a lot of sex. A few months later, he asked me to marry him. Of course, I did, and we were very happy for a few years.
I’m not saying that all summer flings will lead to marriage. However, not all summer flings will end by September, either. In order to best determine the route of your relationship you need to sit down and actually discuss your feelings with this guy, you know, lay it all out on the line. You’ll never really know unless you take a chance and ask.
What do you think? Can a summer fling last?
Have you ever had a summer fling turn into the real thing?