10 Signs Of Incompatibility In A Relationship

Does it feel as if you and your lover never get along? Has your relationship gone from passionate to rocky? Are you questioning your future together? Before you make those wedding plans, here are 10 signs of incompatibility in relationships.

We’ve all dated someone we weren’t sure about. You meet a man, he’s amazing, and the chemistry between you is out of this world! Yet, something is holding you back. Maybe it’s something little, small differences you begin to notice throughout the relationship. Or, perhaps it’s something much bigger, huge arguments and indifferences you can’t possibly ignore.

If you’re wondering whether or not your man is the one for you, you need to first check out the signs of incompatibility in relationships.

#1 You Want Different Things For The Future

The first sign of incompatibility in a relationship is wanting different things for the future. While it might not seem like a big deal at first when the two of you are deep in the throes of passion, the truth is, later this will become a very big issue. Take, for instance, your views on marriage.

I knew a couple who got along great, they were very happy and in love. However, he did not believe in marriage and she did. A few years into the relationship, she began to pressure him into getting married, but he adamantly refused. They fought over the issue all the time until eventually they broke up.

If the future holds something different for you both, then it’s time to reconsider this relationship. Sometimes people change their mind, but if you’ve been together for years and it’s still the same thing…your future is incompatible.

#2 Someone Still Feels Jaded

If you start a relationship and you, or your guy, are completely against love, then you are in a doomed relationship. There’s a very big incompatibility when one person is willing to give out their heart and the other person would rather keep their heart closed off to a relationship.

Again, this is one of those situations that could potentially change; however, the likelihood of that mindset changing is, sadly, very slim.

#3 You’re Both Stubborn

Incompatibility In A Relationship

There’s nothing really wrong with being stubborn. However, if the two of you are both too stubborn to compromise, then you are in an incompatible relationship.

#4 One’s A Traveler and One’s An Adventurer

Another incompatible relationship comes in the form of domestication. If one of you longs for adventure and the other would rather stay at home and raise a family, then you’re probably going to have a few issues down the road. It’s difficult to make a relationship work under these opposing domestic circumstances.

#5 You Always Argue

Before you throw in the towel, there are plenty of couples who argue constantly and then very much enjoy the making up part after. Some couples thrive on drama; it’s just part of who they are.

If, on the other hand, your drama is more stress than sex, and the arguments increase in severity or frequency, then you might be with the wrong man.

#6 Your Intellect Is Different

If you like comic books and board games and your guy prefers opera and Nietzsche, you can make it work, but it’ll be tough. One of the most important aspects of a good relationship is one where you get along physically and intellectually. If you have completely different intellects then there’s always the chance one of you will stray.

People need to be able to communicate to their lovers on all kinds of levels and intellect is probably one of the most important levels. That’s not to say it won’t work out if you’re on different wavelengths (sometimes you need a partner who will balance you out); however, it will be a tough relationship to carry on.

#7 Children Are An Issue

Incompatibility In A Relationship

Believe it or not, one of the most common incompatibility issues amongst couples is children. There are many different reasons why kids can break up a couple (and they’re probably not what you’re thinking).

First, if one of you wants children and the other one doesn’t, it could really be a deal breaker in a relationship. For instance, I have one child and do not want any more.

I’d be happy to be with a man who already has kids or never wants to have children of his own, but if I were with a man who wanted numerous children then we’d have a serious incompatibility issue.

Also, if you and your partner cannot agree on how to raise the child (differing religious views, he’s a vegan you’re an omnivore, etc.), you will also have some major incompatibility issues.

#8 Monogamy Is An Issue

I, like many other women I know, have dated guys who don’t believe in monogamy. They have a “free love” kind of attitude, or they want to “experience everything they can.”

I will tell you that as a monogamist, it’s painful dating a polygamist. It makes you question your self-worth, it causes numerous arguments, and it hurts knowing your lover spent the night with another woman when they could have been there with you instead.

If you’re capable of handling a man who wants every woman he sees, then you’re a stronger woman than I am because this is an issue that won’t easily be resolved and someone is very likely to get hurt…probably you.

#9 There’s No Actual Communication

Are you afraid of opening up your feelings to your lover? Are you scared to show your emotions to the one you’re with? Do you avoid any serious conversation? I’ve been there. I’ve skirted around serious issues and even held back my emotions for fear of rocking the boat. If you’re in the kind of relationship where you can’t openly and honestly communicate with each other, both the good and the bad, then you need to reconsider your relationship.

#10 You’re Missing The Love

The biggest incompatibility in relationships is that one person cares more than the other. If you’re in love with a guy who doesn’t love you in return, then cut your losses now and find someone who adores you. There are plenty of guys in the world, and plenty of people who want to love someone. Don’t waste your time in an incompatible love.

Relationships are never easy, but adding incompatibility into the picture only makes it worse. Save yourself the heartache and get out of any relationship that makes you unhappy. If you know an incompatible situation isn’t going to change, then it’s time to move on. Have you ever been in an incompatible relationship? If so, share with us what happened.

About the author


Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.


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  • Your article really resonates with me. Going through a breakup and as I reflect, I revisit previous arguments we had. I notice where red flags would have been present but went ignored. I also recall some statements she made that made me look into our zodiac signs for compatibility, which I believe is somewhat accurate. Our relationship would’ve taken a great deal of work, work I felt I was putting in but I still fell short. Didn’t meet her expectations is how I feel. She was always adamant when stating how independent, driven, adventurous and ambitious she is, where I’m on the other end of the spectrum. With all that, our shortcomings were touched on in your article in areas I feel apply to my situation. Not being aligned in certain areas has a direct correlation to the outcome of a relationship. Compatibility is huge. It makes or breaks relationships so I find some solace in knowing that her and I as a couple weren’t destined. She is who she is and I am who I am. Neither of us is wrong there. Thanks Trina