Relationships

How To Know He’s NOT A Relationship Material

In today’s hookup culture, guys who are relationship material are like gems. Here’s how you know whether your SO is a genuine gem worth keeping or not.

Finding Mr. Right is never easy. Sometimes, you've got to get your heart broken more times than you think you can bear. You've got to kiss many frogs until you actually meet one who'd turn into a Prince Charming right after being the lucky recipient of your precious kiss.

While most of us ladies would brave anything in search of the one and only Mr. Right for us, not all of us have the courage and luxury of time to do so. If you're one of them, you're on the right page.

Today, you're about to find out the honest signs he's not (and will never be) relationship material so you don't waste your effort and resources on him when he'd only break your heart after.

He makes promises he doesn't keep

Annoyed couple ignoring each other in the kitchen

It's one thing to make a promise and it's totally another to keep them. If the man you're with only knows how to make one but doesn't know how to follow through, you can be sure he's playing you.

No real man would commit to something he knows he can't fulfill. Also, a real man would feel sorry when he fails to fulfill his promises and would find a way to make it up to you.

If he doesn't, dodge that bullet because it's obvious that he's not a relationship material.

He doesn't communicate with you constantly

Communication is one of the most important ingredients of a flavorful relationship. It must be honest, constant and more importantly balanced (because we all know that too many text messages, PMs, emails, and calls can be annoying as hell).

If the guy you're seeing now makes the effort to call “to say I love you” and sends you a text or two just to check in on you and make sure you're okay, you've got yourself a keeper.

On the flip side, if he doesn't make the effort to reach you when you're apart or he attempts to communicate with you excessively (causing you to get distracted and feel harassed), you need to let him go.

He either doesn't care at all or cares about you too much. Neither is a sign that he's relationship material. Neither is going to do you any good.

He’s got no time for you

Quality time is another essential aspect in building a strong relationship. But if your man has more time for his phone, buddies, and professional life but doesn’t find or cannot make time for you and the things that you value the most, that’s him telling you you’re not his priority.

More importantly, that’s him telling you that he’s not ready to commit himself to the relationship. Yes, that hurts. But it’s better to find out about it sooner than later so you can spend your time with someone who deserve it, someone who’s truly relationship material, unlike the one you’re going out with now.

He's careless with his money

pocket full of money

He spends money on things he doesn't really need. He doesn't know how to save up for the future. In short, he's not savvy with his personal finances.

While it's too early to actually care about how he spends what he's worked so hard for, getting insight on how he behaves in this area will tell you so much about his level of responsibility and maturity in life.

You don't want to be with a guy who doesn't plan for the future if you're starting to see a future with him. Try calling him out on this and see how'd he'd respond (This is a must if you've already moved in together but is optional if you only started dating recently). His response and the course of action he'll take after will tell you if he's relationship material or not.

He's yet to develop a backbone

That's harsh, we know. But hey! The truth hurts. If your man can't stand on his own, how can you be sure that he’ll stand up for you when the need to do so arrives?

A man who is a relationship material is strong. He’s someone you should be able to rely on when the trouble comes. Having said that, if he can’t even protect and shield himself from the harshest storms of life, don’t think he’ll brave the cold and the danger just for you. He won’t, so you better leave the relationship as early as you can.

He has yet to learn what R-E-S-P-E-C-T is all about

Forget about whether he respects you or not. All you'd have to do is to look at how he treats the people around him. If he pays respect only to those who he thinks are his equals but not to those who are inferior to him, you can be positive that he'd end up disrespecting you, your values, beliefs, and the people you care about in the long run.

You don't want to sit around and wait for that to happen. You'd be better off running the opposite direction because if he can't respect anyone for who they are, it's a reflection of who he is as a person. Simply put, he's not the relationship material guy you're looking for to spend the rest of your life with so move on, girl.

He doesn’t reciprocate in bed

woman in bed having sleeping problems

Let’s face it. While you love your man so much you’re willing to do just about anything to make and keep him satisfied in bed, you don’t want to be the only one doing the work.

He has to make you a happy and satisfied girlfriend in return. If he only cares about getting off and leaves you after he’s all good, trust us when we say you shouldn’t be staying with such a man.

Clearly, he’s not in love with you and he may just be using you to fulfill his sexual pleasures. He’s not the guy who’s relationship material enough to make you an all-around happy wife in the future. You deserve better so stop sleeping with him.

He doesn’t attempt to improve himself

No. He doesn’t need to be better than any of your ex-boyfriends. But if he loves you with his whole heart and sees you as a huge part of his future, he’ll do things that will make him become a better version of himself.

He’ll do it not out of a selfish ambition, but because he loves you so much he wants to be the best soulmate you can ever ask for. If you don’t see any slight indication that he’s attempting to be his better self, you’re not with a guy who is relationship material. Don’t let him and his lack of ambition waste your time and affection.

No boyfriend is perfect so dear ladies, remember this. Your man, no matter how relationship material he already is now, will make mistakes. He will stumble and fall because he’s just a man who is still flawed and imperfect in his special, perfect way. As his partner, you have to be there to help him pick himself up when he does. When you do, you can be sure you’ll both live a satisfying relationship.

Good luck with your search!

Have you found a man who is a relationship material? How did you know it was already him? Share your thoughts with us in the comments down below!

About the author

Maine Belonio

Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus.

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