Relationship

How to Move On From Your Ex Boyfriend When You Still Love Him: 10 Expert Tips for Healing

Are you trying to move on, but finding it difficult to be without him? If so, here's how to move on from your ex boyfriend, even if you’re still in love with him.

Breaking up is hard, especially when you’re still deeply in love with your ex. If you’re struggling to move on from your ex-boyfriend and wondering how to heal when your heart still aches for him, know that you’re not alone. Moving on from a relationship you cherished can feel like an impossible task, but with the right mindset and practical steps, you can heal and regain your emotional independence.

In this guide, we’ll explore the best strategies for moving on after a breakup—even if you’re still in love with him. From establishing no contact rules to embracing new hobbies and letting yourself heal, these tips will help you take back control of your life and happiness.

How to Move On From Your Ex Boyfriend When You Still Love Him 10 Expert Tips for Healing

#1 Embrace the Power of No Contact: A Crucial First Step

The no contact rule is often the hardest part of getting over a breakup, especially when you’re still in love with your ex. No contact means no texting, calling, or stalking his social media accounts. This step is critical because it creates the emotional space you need to heal and disconnect from the past.

When you continue to engage with your ex, you keep reopening emotional wounds that need time to heal. Here’s why no contact works: it helps break the cycle of obsessive thoughts and allows you to reclaim your mental and emotional energy.

What to Do:

  • Delete his number: If he calls or texts you, do not respond.
  • Block or mute him on social media: This is to avoid seeing his posts or messages and to break the habit of checking up on him.
  • Resist the urge to “accidentally” run into him: No matter how tempting it might be, avoid places where you know he might be.

If you’re wondering, “how to forget your ex boyfriend who dumped you”, the no-contact rule is your first step. It’s crucial to remember that he is not your priority anymore—you are.

#2 Cleanse Your Environment: Remove His Physical Reminders

After a breakup, it’s tempting to hold on to physical reminders of your ex—photos, gifts, or souvenirs from special dates. However, these things will only keep you trapped in the past and make moving on more difficult.

To truly start healing, you need to remove these reminders from your life. Deleting his pictures from your phone, packing up gifts, and unfollowing him on social media will help create a clean emotional slate.

What to Do:

  • Delete all pictures and texts from your phone that remind you of him.
  • Remove or store away any gifts or mementos he gave you.
  • Consider a “symbolic act”: Some people find it helpful to pack everything away in a box or, if you’re ready, donate or throw away items that represent the past.

This helps you stop obsessing over your ex boyfriend and focus on the present. Every time you look at his photo or memento, you reinforce the emotional connection. Break that cycle by clearing the space for new memories and experiences.

#3 Don’t Sleep With Him: Cut the Physical Ties

One of the biggest mistakes women make after a breakup is trying to reconnect with their ex through sex. While it might feel like a temporary solution to ease the loneliness, it only prolongs your emotional attachment and prevents you from moving on.

If you’ve been tempted to call your ex for a “hook-up” to ease the pain, ask yourself: Will this help me heal, or will it only make me more confused and hurt?

What to Do:

  • Keep physical distance: Sex can reignite emotional attachment. Avoid using physical intimacy as a way to “stay connected”.
  • Focus on emotional healing: Instead of falling into old habits, focus on your emotional recovery and personal growth.

Remember: If you still care about him, having sex with him will blur the lines and make it harder to get over him. It’s important to stop the cycle and move forward without the emotional baggage.

#4 Give Yourself Time to Heal: Don’t Rush the Process

Healing takes time, and everyone’s timeline is different. Some people may heal in a few weeks, while others may need a few months or longer. It’s important to give yourself permission to grieve and process your emotions at your own pace.

Trying to rush through the pain will only delay the healing process. Allow yourself to cry, reflect, and feel the emotions that come with ending a relationship.

What to Do:

  • Set aside time to grieve: Give yourself a few days to cry and reflect without feeling guilty about it.
  • Acknowledge your pain: Don’t try to numb your emotions with distractions—feel your feelings and move through them.

Remember, healing is a process, and it’s essential to give yourself the time and space to move forward. If you feel like you can’t stop thinking about him, try journaling or talking to a friend about your emotions.

#5 Let Someone Else Be Nice to You: Open Yourself to New Attention

You might not be ready to start a relationship right away, but allowing someone else to show you kindness and affection can help remind you that love and attention are still available to you. The right kind of attention can lift your spirits and help you start moving on from your ex.

What to Do:

  • Let friends treat you to dinner: Being around people who make you feel good can remind you that life is full of opportunities for love and connection.
  • Don’t shut yourself off: Even if you’re not ready to date, it’s important to allow others to make you feel valued and appreciated.

This doesn’t mean you should jump into another relationship right away, but it will reignite your self-worth and remind you that you deserve to be treated with kindness.

#6 Get Flirted with

It isn’t enough that a guy is nice to you; he has to be attracted to you. I had a very lovely date with a very lovely man who did not seem at all attracted to me. Later that night, I went out and had a guy ask to buy me a drink so he could make a toast to me. While I declined his offer, it was still very flattering and I needed that flattery after having a date not attracted to me. It really is an ego boost to be flirted with.

If you can’t get out and get flirted with, call up one of your guy friends and let him make you feel like a woman. Even the most platonic of my male friends still knows how to talk me into remembering I’m sexy and attractive and I’m not nearly as old as I keep telling myself I am.

#7 Sex (Sometimes)

In regards to #3 above, sleeping with my ex-booty call only reminded me I wasn’t over my ex-booty call (I’ve told you before how I managed to care about him more than I should have over the year and a half we were together).

However, it did make me get over the guy that I was dating who had broken my heart. So, the sex worked. In fact, sometimes (and I did say SOMETIMES) the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Just make sure that someone you’re under isn’t another ex.

#8 Go Out and Have Fun: Reclaim Your Social Life

No matter how miserable you feel, staying indoors won’t help you get over your ex. In fact, it will likely keep you stuck in the past. If you stay home thinking about the breakup, you’re reinforcing negative feelings and allowing yourself to dwell on him.

What to Do:

  • Get out of the house: Take a walk in the park, meet friends for coffee, or go to a local event.
  • Do something fun: Even if it’s just for an hour, going out and socializing will lift your spirits and make you feel alive again.

When you make a conscious effort to enjoy yourself and reconnect with life, you stop obsessing over your ex and begin to realize there’s so much more out there for you.

#9 Find a New Hobby: Invest in Yourself

Instead of focusing on your ex and what went wrong, channel your energy into something positive that brings you joy. Take up a new hobby that excites you. Whether it’s painting, playing an instrument, or learning a new language, investing in yourself is key to healing.

What to Do:

  • Start a new project: Try something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time for.
  • Join a club or group: This is a great way to meet new people while focusing on something other than your ex.

By immersing yourself in activities that make you happy, you shift your focus away from him and start building a fulfilling, independent life.

#10 Remember: He’s Not the Only Man on the Planet

It’s easy to feel like your ex is the only man who can give you what you need. But remember: he’s not the only man on the planet. There are countless other men out there, each with their own unique qualities, who would be lucky to be with you.

What to Do:

  • Broaden your horizons: Keep an open mind and remember that there are plenty of other men out there who are waiting to meet someone like you.
  • Don’t settle for less: Keep moving forward, knowing that you deserve someone who values you.

While you may feel like your ex is irreplaceable, in reality, you’ll find someone better suited for you when you’re ready.

Moving On Is Possible—You’ve Got This

Moving on from an ex boyfriend when you still love him is one of the toughest emotional challenges, but it is possible to heal and move forward. By taking the necessary steps—no contact, clearing out old reminders, and focusing on yourself—you will reclaim your happiness and your future. Don’t rush the process; give yourself the time and patience you need.

How do you best move on from an ex boyfriend?

About the author

Trina

Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.

77 Comments

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  • My boyfriend broke up with me after two months he said it was my faught when it was he’s to

    • My boyfriend broke up with me after 2 years. It is very hard because we stopped talking to each other for a few days then he comes back and says he still loves me but doesn’t know why it’s so hard to move on then gets worked up and gets mad and says mean things. This is a continuous process and it finally officially ended not too long ago. He’s going out and partying and seeming like everything is totally fine. How can he be perfectly okay if I’m still hurting and how can he be okay if he told me it was hard to move on but then he shuts me out for good this time and no coming back. Why does this have to be so hard when I have no interest in anyone but yet all I want is to get my mind off him

      • ok…. I can understand your feeling because for me also that same thing happen

    • hi I Really need ur advice its been 5 years and I can’t still move on.
      There are times I hate him but some times I still hoping for second chance.And the worst thing the feeling of wanting to go back the past and its so hard to realize again that his not the person u thoughg who love u and accept u. from the prince turn to beast. Things always rewind me that he was the boy I love a simple boy that every womans dream. but I never.. told him before that I truly love..I was so fool to lose and hurt him and now He turn to a beast .

  • How long will it takes to heal if you was with someone for five years and he was a best friend and boyfriend? I need the pain to go away. Please help me

    • Kim,
      I am so sorry to hear about your breakup. It’s hard losing a lover and best friend at the same time, I know the pain you’re feeling. I can’t give you a time, darling, but I can tell you that the hurt won’t last forever.
      Don’t try to rush through your emotions. Be angry, cry when you’re sad…get it out of your system. Don’t let it destroy you, though.
      There will be future loves, better loves, a REAL and FOREVER LOVE. I know it doesn’t feel that way now, but it will come.
      Put away all your pictures of your ex, pick yourself up and get out of the house, continue to live. At first it’ll feel fake, and you will feel like you’re just going through the motions, but soon you’ll realize you want to live and you’ll gradually forget your heartache and soon he’ll just be a memory. It might always hurt a little, you might always miss him a little, but as long as you keep living YOUR life for yourself, you’ll be strong enough to get past the pain and strong enough to love again when the real one comes along.
      I wish I could hug you, Kim. It will get better!!!!! But, it’ll take time. Just know that the pain won’t last forever, dear. Remember that, and stay strong!!!! You’re not alone!!!!!

  • Actually I’m still love him I know its my fault but I think i cannot move on with him because I love him so much…..for my 3 years relationship of my ex i know I really love him so much I know my ex also will still love me and also me..:-)

    • Thank u no ik tht not all men arent like him yea i still love him but now i think I’ll move on an stop hoping tht we’ll get back together its time for me to b with someone tht wants to b with me im really grateful from ur advice thank u ur the best!!!!

    • Take a break from him and date other men, see where love leads you. A relationship takes two people, it’s never “just your fault”, it’s both people. Also, it takes two people to work, so if you’re not back together…then perhaps it’s time to start dating other people?

  • I cant seem to get over my x he broke up with me it was my fault. I tried to go out with other people but its not helping all i do is think about him. I miss him so much he doesnt want to talk to me. Im in pain please i want to move but i cant

    • Ladies,
      getting over your ex is the hardest part! Before you cling to the past, repeat this to yourself everyday “I Do Not Want a Man Who Does Not Want Me!”
      You have to remind yourself that unless a man puts you FIRST in his life, then he’s not the man for you. You should NEVER be second best!!! It’s time to stop remembering him as a great love and start looking at him as the jerk who gave up a good thing. Honestly, what was he thinking?!?! No, stop thinking about him, and think about YOU and YOUR needs!!! You need a man who doesn’t give up!!!! Whenever he pops into your mind, remember if it was the right relationship it would still be a relationship. he’s obviously NOT the right one. he was only the right one at that time in your life. Move on to the man who puts you first. Your right guy is still waiting for you!!! Don’t waste your time on this one.

      • Trina I’ve called him for about seven times this morning but he didn’t picked but I used a different line to call him and he picked it then said he’s busy
        And then later that day, he came back to his WhatsApp saying he now knows the truth and posted all sort of stuffs like we no more dating
        But I really love him can’t stop thinking about him?????
        But I really need to forget about him but I just can’t sometimes I feel like going back to my ex but it’s difficult for me pls help me I need ur advice

  • Thank you so much, even as I feel so miserable and broken now I feel this will really help

  • How do u move on from an ex boyfriend after dating with him for 9 months and his at your school and in all your classes

  • Just 2 days ago me and my ex broke up and he called me names! Iv been in a relationship for 8 months.. And I’m really heartbroken! My ex is acting like he doesn’t care and like he’s never loved me also he’s changed! All his ” guy friends” changed his personality and made him see that I’m not important.. And only his friends are! Furthermore he’s not the person I was Inlove with and still am..I still love him but I have to move on and I’m having so much trouble. I need help! And he’s the reason this relationship is no longer! So all I want is for him to regret. Because I’m the one who shouldn’t be heartbroken he should. And what’s happening now is that he’s enjoyin his life like nothing happened and I’m here crying! What should I do.

  • my ex boyfriend left me without any reason , before he left me we are ok , no problem in our relationship , he dont give me any explanation , suddenly after one month i know that he get back with his old girlfriend , this is really make me sad .:(

  • thanks a lot. But I brokup with my girlfriend but she needs me to have sex again she is like iam the only one who understands her yet me I got someone else. some help pliz

  • My boyfriend just broke up with me. I don’t know how to handle this… it is honestly the hardest thing I ever had to do :(

  • Smh. While I agree with all of this to an EXTENT,I also have to disagree.
    I have to disagree because while all of this I have tried to do to get over my ex, I keep running into a wall with my feelings. It’s hard to cut someone out of your life you spent so much time being with.
    Call it stupid.. but sometimes I feel like you have to stop running away from what you feel. I’m not saying be stupid, but sometimes you can’t help what you feel.
    Everybody has advice for what you should or shouldn’t be doing but fail to realize sometimes you have to figure things out on your own.
    Just because you feel and see something a certain way, doesn’t mean someone else will.
    Everybody is different, especially in how they deal with their feelings.
    Getting over an ex is not easy and while people may want what’s best for you, you have to decide on your own because nobody knows your feelings better than you!

  • Hey guys…I’m Tamarin…well I don’t know how to start because it is very difficult tho’..Uhm firstly I still can’t get over my ex and its very hard.I don’t know what to do.Yesterday night there were a dance for school children and one of his friends told him to not be with me.What should I do?I really love him…and I want to win him back again.

  • Bookmarked this on my browser. Ended my first relationship and loved him more than ever. He said he just wanted to be single again, not caring for all thatwas good. Been 2 months, I’m still broken and trying my best to move on. Well, dancing at a party this guy was smart and attracted to me, short close dance ended with a kiss. Felt good, wanted more. But stopped myslef as I will feel guilty of myself to get physical without feelings. I’m not ready to be casually physical yet, I’m scared to be stuck in this phase. How long will it take

  • I wna get over my boyfriend we are still together but nothing seems right he doesn’t talk to me nothing I luv him so much but things are not goin well as planned

  • My boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. An it’s one of the hardest things I have been threw. He broke up with me we started fighting. An he couldn’t handle it we both always got moody. He wanted to be friends and see how that went.. It didnt go well we still fight all the time An he keeps telling me to move on. He also tells me that he might want me back after a while. When he starts missing me. i always end up getting hurt from guys. I dont know what to do All I want is to be happy

  • Broke up with my X 3 years ago but lately I’ve been going out with his cusen brother but all I can think about is my X who I broke up with 3years ago.
    And I just don’t know why

  • Tonight, I broke up with my boyfriend. He was my pillar for the longest time. But now, I have to save myself from being hurt over and over again. He keeps on breaking his promises. He keeps on keeping secrets from me. I don’t even know now whether his I love yous were true. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know how to feel anymore. Sometimes I just wish I become numb. 30 minutes after breaking up with him, I feel like I wanted to commit suicide to be honest. My friends weren’t online on Facebook. I don’t have load. I can’t go out because it’s already late. I’m on my own. I hurriedly searched on google of ways to move on. It’s been 30 minutes. But I feel very weak and shattered into pieces. Words can’t express how much pain I am feeling right now. I ended up with this blog. It helped a lot. Thank you Trina.

  • I was with a guy for 2 years and we had some good times, he was the second person I had sex with. I used to get jealous over everything, he drove a girl to school one morning and I got pissed off. Im still in love with him, he says he is over me. We are both 17 and I know that sounds very young but you know how high school relationships go. This helped me a bit…I went to a rave new years eve and I got asked out on a couple of dates an politely declined but only because I’m not over this guy. I have taken time to myself and thinking about him at all makes me cry. I can honestly say I don’t know what to do.

  • When coming to an ex boyfriend Sometimes its hard giving up the person you once loved but what’s the point if he never cared, he made it seen as he did but didn’t there always that one person out there that will care my friends just move on and live your life like Lady and have fun

  • Well he didn’t break up with me but i did. He cheated on me with 2 girls and i didn’t know until i was dumb enough to not believe it. After he went to Oregon to do BMX tours, we never communicated like EVER. We did it once, made some great memories, but it never lasted. I made a mistake of dating another guy while i dated him. That was a huge mistake i’ve ever done. About 5 months after he went away, i heard from the 2 girls he cheated on me with so i tried to call him but no one picked up so i left a voicemail to tell him we were over and he never got it even though i thought he did. When he finally called back he was freaking out, he knew i was dating someone else and thats when we ended. Hes back home now and i’ve moved on but i never ever ever got over him. I still cry until my stomach hurts and i can’t breathe because i miss him so much. I don’t know what to do. Can someone please tell me if i should move on or not

  • When ur guy said he is not married nd letter u find at that he is lieing to u what will u do.

  • I really appreciate the article and have re-read several times this week. Have had series of painful break ups with guys I’ve dated and struggle with letting go. I’m middle 40’s and know what I want but seem to settle due to previous frustrations with men. Any other advice is great.

  • my bf broke over love.we are love in 4 years.i really miss him,i like him very much.he is my life.i am 18 yars old.i have to do my exam in after 5 month later..plz hep me….i wanna forget him

  • So my boyfriend ex boyfriend whatever.. his mom is very protective of him because he is an only child. Well i moved in with them on valentines day and his mom keeps saying hes changing, becoming more and more distant with his parents. They keep trying to control him and tell him what to do. His ex kept messaging him so we both told her to go fly a kite and his mom jumped on me today. I’m homeless now needless to say. The guy still loves me and keeps texting me to see where i am, but his mom said to never contact him again and move on. I understand her not wanting to lose her only son, but she keeps pushing him away and says everything is my fault. I have no money, I only work one day a week because Dollar General doesn’t schedule me so I cant afford anything. I have no car, so life is really difficult. Worst part about all this is he is suicidal.. we both have severe depression and cant stand being away from eachother. Please if anyone can give me advise or some sort of help, let me know.

  • The only way to forgot my ex, my biggest love, and deepest pain was only one thing.
    I decided I will convince my self that he had an accident and he was dead at the spot.
    I made full story in details how it happened and when ever he will came to my mind I repeated same story sometimes loud. If it is easier write it down on the paper.
    So in my mind he died in car cash .
    Before that I deleted his number, blocked his phone, email, deleted pictures.
    Thanks to this method after 2 months I was totally emotionally free from this person and even now he is berried for me.
    Good luck girls

  • this is my story
    im a fool i knw it becoz my bad luck besides me y im saying this word’s because i lost my boyfriend. we have 5years relationship we love each other it means we love like mad nd crazy in my love life u enjoyed lot of and my boyfriend he is so innocent person nd so humble nature nd me im life firebrand but we love each other one day we plan to marry but our parents r not agree because of caste problem in my home my parents r blackmail me nd i dnt knw how ti handle that situation on that time i took my decision to marry some one nd i force to marry him(my boyfriend) he also agree that fainly we got marriages but now no happy into my life because i never forgot him it will me im thinking mad about him i cant adjust my self with my hubby i hurt him also because my ex in my heart i cant stop thinking about him now i realize nd i done a big mustain my life that is i losse my
    with listing my parents words

  • I had to broke up with my bf of 3 years because he didn’t want to commit and he kept on saying I was too jealous… He kept on telling me how much he loved me but also how much he found other girls attractive… During all this time he made me think that it was all in my head but just a few days after I dumped him (I didn’t want to I just wanted him to realize stuff) I found out he kissed a girl from work… I started asking former coworkers and they told me that she was not the first and that he had an affair with at least one girl I was actually jealous of… So after all it was not all in my head… I feel so much betrayed and yet I can’t move on…He admitted on being a cheater I wanted to puke. Even if I know he completely doesn’t care about me anymore and he is going out and having fun with his mistresses I am still very depressed… I stay home all day I don’t work anymore and I completely isolated myself from the world… I never used to be like this and now I don’t know how to get better. He really broke my heart.

  • I be relationship for 14yr and cant to move on ex n i have 4 children n my kids with father n im single mother…i try my best move on ex n my four children with their father… it hard move on my kids n i love them so much… it hard … i dnt know what do… i be misable so bad… i left him week ago..

  • Hi Triana,
    I really need ur advice.My boyfriend is currently outta d country for his Masters and since then,we’v not really been communicating.We communicated for a while coz I wz d one doing the catching up and all dat buh I stopped when I started appearing like a pest to me myself and since then,we’v not really been communicating…I misplaced my phone recently and d one thing I noticed is dah he has the time to upload pictures in his fb page buh culdnt even ‘hi’ me…I feel like d relationship is over buh dunno y he wouldn’t come out wit it and besides I still love im …Wah do I do?

  • i just broke up with my love afew months back, i’ve been crying eversince that day we separated but thanks for your advise! i think i can now moveon

  • Well I don’t know what to do ? all I do is cry when I think of him I do all the stuff that you suggested to do but I’m so broken up I was with him for 6 months and I fell hard I gave him everything I had bad childhood so maybe that’s why??????? why I fall in love so fast but I feel like I died inside

  • I actually had relationship of around 5 years. Both of us seemed to be very serious. Then later through Facebook I came to know that my bf has another girl. I asked him to sort out this topic n I wanted to talk with him, but he always tries to ignore the topic. I made myself a choice for him, either to choose me or choose another girl. He said me that he can’t leave me but when I ask about another girl, he became silent at first n later said that he will try. I then acted normal with him but it has already been like a week and still he didn’t sort out the thing. I couldn’t stop myself and I texted that girl. At first that girl said like they aren’t serious, he wasn’t that loyal and didn’t use to give time for her, but the day after that conversation she asked me if I had physical relation with him, I denied and then she said she was in physical relation with him,, not only once but had many times. I was not surprised because I know that my bf would never do this, I didn’t trust that girl but I wanted to talk with my bf about this. One part of my heart says that I should talk with him and another part says like I have to move on, just leave the situation as it is. Then I decided to move on, I didn’t send him any message or called him, and he did same to me. Even though I know that I won’t get any text I was expecting from him and lastly he just send a msg saying that he is missing me. That’s it not more than that. Next day I tried not to send any message, I couldn’t and then I myself send him text, n I felt like he didn’t want to talk. I feel like he loves me a lot n wants me but the thing is he doesn’t take stand for himself n just ignores the situation. I am trying to move on but it’s really hard for me. Plz give me some suggestions, I can’t help myself…

  • I broke up with my bf after 5 years ,,,
    I loved him cared and did everything he wants ,,, he was nice to me too ,,, after 4 years I saw a conversation with another girl I couldn’t believe ,,, the worst thing I ever did is I forgave him that was a very huge big mistake ,,, cuz in our 5 th year i knew that he had a physical relationship with a girl a real one ,,, he broke my heart I cried a lot but not anymore ,,, thank you for your advice ,,, and NEVER give a chance for a cheater ,,, don’t ever do that ,,, I know he will try to contact me but i won’t even let him be able to text me ,,, I have a life to love and dreams ,,, he broke a lot inside me but now he is gone and forever ,,, it’s my time my heart my life ,,, it’s hard but possible :)

  • I’ve been in a relationship for more than half of my decade. My man stalked me from another number, and when i replied the anoynomous person that was stalking me. I got a feeling that it’s him or something that involves that track. I kept playing my game so well, after a few my man called me asking me if there’s something that i wanna tell him , I laughed and did’nt answer. He asked again and i told him there’s this anoynomous Jerome thats texting me. After sayingnthat he switched the phone off in my ears. Next moment i got a text from him calling me names, and staff. I left it at there. Later he callled we argured and he called my mum a bitch. And neva in my life not even in my lowest did i swear at he’s mum, granny, sister or aunt.. And still today it hurts knowing that he had the audacity to call my mum names. Eversince than i stopped communicating with him and broke off everything i ever wanting to start with him.. So ladies dont limit yourselfs to bullsh*t , you worth more everything than humanliations..

  • I was in a relationship of 1year my ex-boyfriend started cheating, even worse he impregnated i was the last one to know. He than came to apologise and told me how he loves me and that he cant loose over someone else, i forgave him… After some coupler months he dumped me. Im still im paim and h cant get over him

  • Thanks for the advice, Trina.
    My boyfriend and I dated for 6 months. There were a lot of issues in the relationship, but we shared many good moments too. At the end of our relationship, we had a cycle where we’d break up and then he’d come back to try and make things right. The biggest issues in our relationship was my lack of confidence in myself, which resulted in my overwhelming need of reassurance, and his struggles with connecting with me emotionally. We kept trying to make it work even though neither of us demonstrated trying to change for the better of our relationship. Just last night, he broke it off for the third time and I feel devastated because this time around, I don’t think he’ll come back this time. In the end, this might turn out to benefit us both as we probably need time apart to do some soul searching. I do love him very much still, and he claimed he still loves me but we just weren’t really happy together. I’m trying to get over him, but it’s really hard for me because I’m afraid there won’t be anyone else out there that’s like him. He has an amazing personality overall and he did mean well.
    I will take your advice and try these suggestions out and try to move on, and live my life for me.

  • I can sign this. With my biggest break-up disaster I failed in the first four tips and I regret it even now five or so years later. I never healed properly. We stayed in contact, went together to some meditation class and other events as he probably didn’t have anyone else interested in the same things at the time and of course I was just dying to be with him again (he was the one who ended it at the first place obviously), we even had sex few times after. And it sucked. Not at the moment, it was kinda cool and maybe in a way I am glad I had this experience, but emotionally it sucks, you loose a lot of respect for yourself, and it’s really like he pushed you into the mud first and now he’s jumping on your head on top of that.

    We had the hard situation of being members of a group of friends so it would be quite hard to actually cut off all contact and never see each other again, but still, I should have tried harder, at least not to go out with him alone.

  • Iv been dating my boyfriend for five years and the relationship was okay we even spoke about marriage, I have two kids of my own and I was once pregnant by him, but we didn’t have the baby, after about 3 years into the relationship I noticed that he was treating my babies differently and the one thing that really got to me was that my daughter wanted to give him a hug and he said NO!!! to her, so when I asked him why didn’t wanted to give her a hug, he just said cos I don’t want to, so now that we are talking about his behavior towards them I found myself telling him other things that I have been bottling up inside. after talking about that I realized that I was wrong man and cos I didn’t understand how he can love me and not love my kids, so I decided to brake up with him and I don’t regret it as its been only two days since the breakup, but the fact that he has even called to try and fix things or just to apologies, I find myself going through my phone to check if he hasn’t contacted me, I really need help to just get him out of my mind.

  • My ex put taken on his instragm then he put single want to be alone I loved him like crazy and I want him back but he dump me and broke up with me I am so done ??i was crying and I am done with being hurt and being with someone who dose not care about me

  • I now know how to seriously move on with my ex boyfriend even though I know how it hurts, really hurts for me if I let go of him. But now I will take a risk to forget him fully and move to my future life for my best.

    • Same here, I always see him in my school since it’s pretty small. I also sit next to him in my first period class. Everytime I see him my heartbreaks, I just want him to be mine again.

  • I was in a relationship with someone I truly loved,we both were so cool.. Together not until one day he called me just to get to see each other;but to my surprise my ex boyfriend asked me if I was hiding anything from him which sincerely I was not.I don’t know what led to his questions;he stopped communicating with me since then am still confused till date. Can’t figure why his acting up.even if it’s hurt I tried to move on since last year but it has not being easy. I don’t even know what I did

  • I have nothing to add just i thank you so much bcz this is what i’ve been waiting for. I follow ur advices. Thx again

  • I find it difficult to move on, we have a son together so I see him every weekend, every weekend I feel like my heart is breaking all over again. I look at him and remember those hands and how they used to touch me, those words he used to whisper in my ear every night and it’s hard. He’s recently hinted about getting back together after 2 years apart, my heart is saying yes yes yes do it but my mind is saying no no no that he will just hurt me again, what do I do?

  • I fell into the moving back with him trap 4 times. each time my heart got broken a little bit more. I love him with all my heart still even though its finished. it finished in a horrible way, with all my friends and him talking for a week about how we should break up without me knowing anything about it, him then treating me like dirt and then telling me he only came back to me cos he thought id kill myself. ive never been suicidal, it was a stupid excuse of his and what also hurts is him trying to make me go out with other boys who I clearly could never love.
    I feel so hurt and I cant turn to my parents cos they never agreed with it anyway. I feel the most alone I have ever felt and I cant get away from him cos he’s there with me every day.

  • I still love my ex but we work together and before we broke up we’re together for three years not only this but he lives around the corner and I have tried to move on but I always see him with his new girlfriend they became a couple as when me and him were dating he slept with her on multiple occasions

  • Hey!

    I’ve been having a hard time getting over and stop thinking of my ex. We’ve had a rough break up however it ended in a fake nice way. It’s been 3 months now however it feels like it was just yesterday. We’ve dated in total of 8 months. Before we’ve dated he was dating his ex fiancé, a relationship that lasted 3 years. After 3 months of his ex fiancé breaking up with him, he start dating me. Making me realize that I might have been a rebound. Most of our problems involved his ex fiance. Which makes me believe, that is his baggage. Currently he is dating someone else.

    My point is, he was my first love (at least that’s what it feels like). It is eating me apart knowing he is happy with a new person and erased me from his life completely. I feel very broken. I’ve tried everything, getting social, active, travelling however at the end of the day my mind is like a magnet attracted into thinking of him and not understanding why has this happened. Blaming myself for not doing better…even though I’ve been told I’ve done nothing wrong.

    Would you suggest anything?
    Will be much appreciated :)

  • We still talk, hang with the same group of friends. It gets better with time, I’ll never get over her but it’s bearable.

  • I found out I had cancer and my boyfriend of five years left me. In my small town he shows up every where with his girlfriend. I hurt so bad

  • My ex boyfriend and I broke up because when he went back to work he suddenly realized he didn’t have time for me in his life. Prior to that, it was lovely. He was attentive, affectionate, reliable, kind, interesting and funny, and he worked like hell to gain my trust and my heart. My dumb ass fell for it all, HARD. I love him so much, even still. I just can’t let go, even though I also have these awful feeling of betrayal…after all, he made me love him then decided I was ballast to his life, when really he just doesn’t have his sh*t together enough to balance everything. He was more than happy to be with me when HE needed ME, and when he had plenty of time (although now he’s telling me that he was neglecting his responsibilities and his ex girlfriends daughter who he views as one of his own kids just to make me happy, which is bullshit…I HELPED with things, and was happy to have the little girl join on ANY activity with all our kids combined, and I liked her mom too, or to let them have alone time too, so I don’t know what he’s talking about). But then when he got busy and started making and breaking plans with me or planning things with his kids OVER our plans (which wouldn’t have been too big a deal if it were only a couple isolated incidents, but I’m talking EVERY time we had made plans, even if it were a couple weeks in advance), then informing me at the last minute that I could still come if I didn’t mind waiting around for them to do their thing, but ‘it’s up to you, babe, I don’t care either way.’ He said he loved me and he did, I guess, until one day, it seemed very sudden, that he didn’t. That’s the part that kills me…it was so abrupt. One week we were happy and in love and the next he’s telling me he only has time for a ‘part time girlfriend’ and YES, those were his words. Then, of course, because I broke up with him, it’s all ‘You told me to basically f*ck off, I didn’t break up with you, I wanted to figure something out,’ when in reality my choice was to be alone with or without him. I just don’t understand how he could tell me he loved me and then…not. And I can’t get rid of these feelings. I can’t stop thinking about him. I love him so much, at least who I thought he was. I’m miserable and the pain is damn near unbearable every day. I dread waking up every morning to more pain and loneliness. I’m only ok when my kids are awake and I’m taking care of them. The worst part is that he seems to be doing just fine…especially after a meeting, which HE initiated, wherein he tells me that he misses me, he can’t stop thinking of me, he’s gone to my favorite local bar and asked about me, he was happy with me, hurting me like that nearly killed him, let’s stay friends so that maybe down the road we could have something (an offer I declined), and crying, but not actually wanting to get back together, which I was clear was what I wanted. I feel so pathetic, and sad, and alone, and tricked, and angry that he seems ok, and angry he lied to me like that, and just in so much pain. I wish I had no feelings at all, or that better yet I’d never met him in the first place.

  • How are you suppose to move on from an Ex Boyfriend that was your baby daddy, best friend and fiance all in one? Im in that situation right now. I mean I told him how I felt but yet its the same thing over and over again. I mean he still says he loves me too. and wanted to be with me again but the situation his in right now makes it hard for him. Like how can you just fall out of love with that? I still think of him every day and every night, the first thing I want to send him a text to ask how did he sleep or even ask him how is his day is going? Im trying to work on myself and our friendship but my feelings for him is so strong that Id do anything for him or become anyone he needs to be. I keep feeling like Im hiding behind a smile with every word I say now. Help me please?