Relationships

Top 10 Signs You’re Nothing More Than a Rebound-Girl

Wondering if he’s really into this relationship for you or just because he misses his ex? Wonder no more. Run for the hills if you notice these frills.

There are some people who don’t believe in the “rebound” girl, they honestly think there’s no such thing as rebound. I’ve never understood that, because I myself have been the rebound girl on occasion. Yes, it sucks, but over the years I’ve learned how to read those rebound signs.

Sometimes the sign is pretty obvious, like when he calls out his ex’s name during sex (believe me, this is not a fun way to spend the night).

Other times, however, the signs are not so obvious. You might wonder if he’s playing you or if he’s just being a jerk. You could be wondering if you’re being over sensitive, or if there really is something to worry about. If he has just gotten out of a relationship with someone else, and you’re the first girl since, then you might have to use your head before your heart. Look for these signs before you get your heart broken.

1) He Never Asks How You’re Doing

Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home

One of the benefits of being in a relationship is that you have someone to ask you how you’re doing or ask how your day was. If your guy never concerns himself with your everyday feelings and events, then he might not care in that “relationship” kind of way, which could mean you’re a rebound girl.

2) He Doesn’t Recognize the Things That Are Important to You

Someone who cares about you recognizes those things that are important to you, and genuinely makes the effort to incorporate those things into your life. If you’ve had to tell him ten times that you like your tea with milk, and he still asks, then he’s not paying attention to you. If you have the flu and he doesn’t ask how you’re feeling after a day or two, then he doesn’t care. Not caring is a big sign you’re rebound.

3) It’s Just Sex (No Love Making)

Don’t stress over this just yet, some guys are genuinely just not good at making love and sex is just sex. Is he holding you and cuddling you afterwards? Is there intimacy? Does he stay the night or does he just get up and leave?

4) He’s Emotionless

couple having problems in the bedroom

If you and your guy have been dating at least a couple of months, then there must be some feelings involved. If he’s still pretty cold emotionally, and he shrugs it off or makes lite of your feelings, then you might be the rebound girl. Men get just as attached to women as we do them, so at some point in a long term monogamous relationship he should be feeling something more than lukewarm towards you.

5) He Still Talks About His Ex

When a man is with a woman he cares about, his ex is no longer in the picture. If, however, he still talks about her (what they used to do together, where they went, how much she hurt him, etc.) then you’re probably in a rebound relationship. Honestly, even if he’s talking negative about his ex, the fact that she’s still constantly on his mind is a huge red flag!

6) He Sees You at HIS Convenience

If you have one of those relationships where he only sees you when it’s convenient for him, then beware. A guy who really cares and really likes you will go out of his way to see you any chance he gets. There are exceptions. Men who work a lot are naturally exhausted all the time, and they prefer to sleep and eat before seeing you. Not only does being tired and hungry put them in a bad mood, but they also really don’t enjoy anyone else’s company when they feel that way. If your man works odd hours or sixty hours a week, it could just be work…not rebound.

7) You’ve Never Met His Friends or Family

After three months you should have met at least some of his friends and family. You’re a part of his life at this point, so he should be treating you as if you are and introducing you to other people in his life. If that’s not happening, then you have another red flag.

8) He Has No Interest in Meeting Your Friends or Family

Young couple in quarrel at home

After a few months, he should at least be more than happy to go out with you and your friends every now and then, if not…he’s not really interested in you. A man who is interested in you will be interested in who you are as a person, which includes your friends and family.

9) He Never Introduces You as His “Girlfriend”

Aside from a few months of dating, even if it’s new and you’re just heading into this relationship, if your guy doesn’t introduce you as his “girlfriend”, you could be rebound. For example, introductions such as “this is my friend….” or “this is…..” or no introduction at all are all rebound red flags.

10) You Know it Doesn’t Feel Right

Finally, one of the biggest and most obvious signs that you’re the rebound girl is that the relationship just doesn’t feel right. You know what I mean. Trust your gut instinct, go with your inner voice. If you don’t think your man is over his ex, if you don’t think he’s treating you the way a man should treat his girlfriend, then he’s probably not.

Only you know your relationship, and that means you know when something isn’t quite right. Don’t be the rebound girl. Let this guy go and move on to someone that does care about you. After all, you don’t want to be the third wheel to the memory of his ex, do you?

About the author

Trina

Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.

2 Comments

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  • So i met this guy in the beggining of my year studying abroad (he was from a different country and 6 years younger).
    We met first week on a colleagues hangout, our drunk spirits get along, we danced, talked, laughed and even slept (not sex) together after exhaustion.
    After that he would always see me, greet me and try to reach me. Second drinking night out he was already with his arm around me, shinning eyes then i told him i had a bf back home (a long but so over it relationship) and also knew he broke up ( he said mutually) with his almost 2 years gf one we before goin abroad.
    We felt so confortable being next to eachother we agreed to keep knowing eachother as friends and see what time would bring for us.
    He was very popular with girls here always had many around him or confessing to him but somehow he would always keep his eyes on me and keeping my side ( hangouts, group dinners etc). It was just too obvious his interest in me and with a bit of alcohol we would end up hooking up.
    He started to hang more with my friends and would text everyday at least at the end of the school day (what are you doing? Plans for dinner) dont know if out of boredom or not.
    One day, one month after met, he asked me if we could have dinner just the 2 of us and i agreed, more followed. But i was always walking in eggshells cause i didnt want ppl on campus to make gossip ( my having a boyfriend condition) so got used not holding hands even if i wanted that much.
    Our relationship started to evolute and my friends offered protection and he started to take me to hang and eat with his friends calling me his girlfriend.
    One day after and argument he said till the moment he didnt quite understand my way of thinking and if we liked eachother we should assume it and stop caring about others, causd everybody already knew anyways. I agreed.
    We started to spend more time together like a real couple but i felt him uneasy and impatient many times ( i thought because a physical problem that would might stop continue his studies abroad) so didnt pay much attention and tried to support him ( by xmas times he even offered me matching rings..so i thought it was fine).
    Even having just one more semester together he did plans ahead and promised me to enjoy our time together while we could.
    When i got back to my country i broke up with my 4 years bf and become depressed and anxious about other issues on my life…and ended up sharing with my new flame my anxiesties and fears (not speaking fluently the same language didnt help communication).
    While in the first weeks he was videocalling and updating on his health improvement i started to sink..and around that time he started to act cold, short answers, careless. I somehow showed him i was a loser and he got it as excuse to start pull away..
    When we saw each other again..1month half later he was ready to “dump” me ..excuses, hot and cold behaviour till finally finished with “lets just stay friends”.
    I didnt harrass him more and stopped contact..1 week later he met new exchange student from his country and 1 week later they were dating, official on facebook, and love dovey pictures all over social media also always holding hands and showing off their happiness all over the campus and even went on romantic trip together within one month after knowing eachother.
    Was I a rebound? What is this girl? The rebound of rebound?
    I know we never became official cause i still had a bf somewhere far away but we were dating and there was emotion but was lost somehow somewhere…and i was left with a brokenheart on top of a depression in a far away country seeing the guy i started to love having the blast of his life.

  • Love what I have read. Thanks. Leave me thinking now..I feel like a rebound but he treats me good take me out for dinner n stay over but still as me in is mind as a friend..he’s jus came out a relationship two weeks ago..but we both like each other a lot. What should I do give him space. He love my company yet he tell me about this girl he know before me that he gave is word and if wasn’t she then he would choose me. But he introduced me to is freind n family.