Bored In A Relationship? Here’s How To Decide If It’s Over Or Not

The beginning of a relationship is never boring. In fact, it’s the total opposite. You find this new guy to be really exciting. You love listening to him talk about the things that he’s interested in and every time that he texts you or looks at you, you think that it’s the most thrilling thing that has ever happened.

You can’t imagine ever becoming one of those couples that you see having dinner at a restaurant and not talking to each other. You would never think that this guy would ever bore you and you just know that things are going to work out.

And then you find yourself feeling bored and you hate to admit it, but you think that it’s your relationship. This is definitely a low moment and a tough thing to deal with.

There are a few things to consider if this is the situation that you’re in. Read on to find out what to do when you’re bored in a relationship.

1.) Think about whether you’re bored by your boyfriend or your life

Sometimes we’re upset and don’t quite realize what exactly is causing us these negative feelings. It’s possible that while we think that we’re bored by our boyfriend, it’s really our life that has gotten stale and we need to reignite our passion.

When you’re bored in a relationship, it’s definitely a good idea to stop and think about whether it’s your boyfriend or your life in general. Maybe you’ve gotten so good at your routine that it’s boring you to tears. You wake up, make a healthy breakfast, go to work, come home, watch TV, go to bed, and then the next day feels exactly the same. Anyone would be bored after a while and everyone needs to shake things up sometimes and make some changes.

If you try adding some new things into your weekly routines, like a new workout class or even making some new recipes for dinner or scheduling more time with your girlfriends, you might find that you’re just as happy with your relationship as you were before.

2.) Consider if you want to make a career change

Just like you could be bored by your daily routine, you could be bored by your job. So many people make career changes and end up doing something that is the opposite of what they were doing or thought that they wanted to do, and there’s no reason why this can’t be you, too.

Maybe you’re blaming your relationship when you’re unhappy at your job. You might not be feeling like your skills are being used or that you have a passion to wake up every day and head to your job. If this describes you, then you could find that making a career change, either getting a new job in your same field or something else, could make you feel a lot better about your life in general… and about your relationship, too.

This is the best case scenario, of course, since you’ll not only wake up excited to get to work and will have some amazing things happening in your professional life, but you also won’t make a decision about your relationship that you could regret later on.

3.) Talk to him about whether he agrees that you’re stuck in a rut

However, it’s totally possible that you really are bored by your relationship, and it’s time to talk to your boyfriend about it. It’s not a great one when a person feels a certain way about things but doesn’t let their partner know. He might be thinking that things are perfect and that he is more in love with you than ever, but there you are, wondering if you find him boring and if you want to move on. It’s not the best situation to be in.

If you really are bored by your relationship, then it’s a good idea to talk to him about whether he agrees that you’re stuck in a rut. Maybe you’ve been together for one year, two years, or even five years, and while you two had an amazing time together, it just doesn’t feel the same anymore.

It’s possible that he agrees with you and has found that you two have settled into a routine that is anything but thrilling and passionate. It happens to a lot of couples. When you’re in a rut, it can be hard to feel the passion that you did at the beginning of your relationship.

4.) If you still love each other, take a break to re-evaluate your feelings

Let’s say you and your boyfriend have had a serious and honest conversation and realized that, yes, you both feel that you’re stuck in a rut. When you’re bored in your relationship but still love each other, it can feel like the worst situation that you’ve ever been in. You just don’t understand how you got here and you wish that you could wave a magic wand and be super in love once again.

You can take a break and re-evaluate your feelings. Maybe you two have gotten a bit boring and don’t do anything super exciting most of the time so it’s no wonder that you’re both feeling this way. If you still love each other, then you can think of this as a rough path but not something that is going to result in a break-up.

Sometimes couples take a break for a few months to just chill out for a bit and see how they feel about each other. It might be uncomfortable and feel really weird, but it could help.

5.) Accept that the relationship might have run its course

If you’re bored in your relationship and you’ve done all of the above things, then it could be time to accept that the relationship has run its course.

Sometimes there is no real reason why a couple decides that it’s time to break up. You just have a gut feeling and even if you know that your boyfriend is so sweet and such a good person, you just can’t help but know that it’s the right decision.

It’s good to remember that it’s not normal to feel bored in your relationship. Sure, not every night is going to be super romantic and not every date night is going to be fancy and full of sweet nothings, but for the most part, you two should feel excited about even doing boring things together.

When you’re bored in your relationship, it’s not a great feeling. You feel uncomfortable and like you can’t believe that this is happening to you. This is especially true if you’ve been with your boyfriend for several years.

This is the person that you thought that you would stay with forever. You thought that you would get married, have kids, and experience the ups and downs of life with. It’s pretty upsetting if you decide that it’s time to end the relationship and move on.

Whether you decide that or make a life or career change and are able to salvage your relationship, as long as you follow your heart and your gut, you’re going to be okay.

About the author

Aya Tsintziras

Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She loves coffee, barre classes, 90s television and pop culture. She is a food blogger at A Healthy Story and shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories.

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