The one thing all likeable people have in common is they are intent on making others feel comfortable and understood. To some, this comes naturally, but for the rest of us, we need to practice how to engage others in order to come across as likeable. Luckily, even if you weren’t always popular, you can still become likeable by practicing certain behaviors to enhance your likeability.
It’s with these actions and intention that the door to appeal and charisma are opened. Once you turn these actions into habits, you’ll find it easier to get along with others and become more attractive in the process.
Have you ever heard the saying: Your motions create your emotions? While people assume that people smile when they’re happy, the act of smiling actually makes you feel happy. A genuine smile can make you seem warm and trustworthy.
Even more, smiling tells others that you’re safe. A smiling face is key to making others feel at ease and seen. Imagine making eye contact with someone and not smiling. You might come across as angry or intimidating. Smiling signals that you’re in a mood that isn’t intimidating or fragile. Likeable people tend to smile because they are in a good mood.
The best way to get to know another person is to ask questions about them. Asking questions is a great way to show others that you care about them. When you attempt to get to know another person, you seem interested in the same things they’re interested in themselves. Likeable people make it a habit to be curious about others and continue to ask questions and gain knowledge.
Likeable people give the conversation space. They don’t talk endlessly when given the chance because they understand the pace of conversation. Likable people pause between sentences to give others an opportunity to speak. They aren’t intimidated by silence.
Oftentimes, insecure people try to fill any silence they can with more talking. It’s almost uncomfortable for them not to talk or to be still. When you get the chance to stop, listen and think in a conversation—don’t be afraid to be silent. The conversation will start again naturally.
Listen and Repeat
Most people are terrible listeners. When they aren’t waiting for their turn to speak, they are interrupting the speaker. When in a conversation, it’s important to listen actively.
Miscommunication comes when we don’t take the time to repeat and rephrase what we’ve heard the other person say. Likeable people take the statements they hear in conversation and reframe them to ensure they’ve understood and to signify that they’re listening.
They not only listen but they absorb what they hear and give the speaker their full attention. We tend to like the people who listen to us and allow us to express ourselves completely. In order to be likeable, you must learn to listen and well.
Anger, impatience, anxiety and other negative emotions all come from a lack of understanding. When we only see one point of view, we limit what we accept and believe. To be likeable, you have to open your mind and learn how to understand. Understanding is about seeing multiple possibilities and angles to your current beliefs, ideals and conceptions.
It’s just as easy to agree as it is to disagree. Likeable people always find common ground with others and will find a way to agree even when they have an opposing viewpoint.
No matter how they feel about the subject when responding to a point of difference, likeable people never start with an objection. They make a confirming statement and decide to be agreeable unless their difference in opinion is requested.
Nothing lightens the mood like laughter. Likeable people have the ability to use humor to create bonds. When it seems like you have little in common with other people, a good laugh is the great equalizer.
Laugh from your gut and be genuinely entertained by the company you’re with. Don’t act like you’re too cool to join in the joke, learn to let go when laughing and just let the mood take you over.
Those who know what they want tend to get it. Likeable people are powerful and nothing displays a sense of power like being decisive and definitive. Not having an opinion is one of the most unattractive qualities that you can possess. People who seem disinterested in everything, even their own preferences, come across as weak and powerless.
The ability to decide quickly gives your credibility. When interacting with others be clear and decisive about your choices and preferences. Avoid saying things like, “I don’t know,” “I don’t care” and “Whatever.” It makes it seem like you don’t have an opinion or preference when it’s likely that you do.
Being a likeable person doesn’t mean just being nice and agreeable. Essentially, it’s being a person who likes others and goes out of their way to show it. The best way to increase your likeability is to practice each habit with intent.