Old Fashioned Quotes from Sex and the City

Sex and the city seemed to be liberating. Women talked about sex openly. They talked about sex often, as if it’s the most important thing in their world. But at the core of their longing, there still was The One. For all of them but one.

Carrie: Charlotte treated marriage like a sorority she was desperately hoping to pledge.

No one is surprised that Charlotte, the most conservative character of Sex and the City, is having many old-fashioned lines.

Charlotte: Everyone needs a man. That’s why I rent. If you own and he still rents, then the power structure is all off. It’s emasculating. Men don’t want a woman who’s too self-sufficient.

Charlotte: …women just really want to be rescued.

A friend recently told me that he had a girl over and she said she would have sex with him but she could not do it because he might think she was a sl*t. Let’s say that I can understand girls that would not jump into someone’s bed the first night. They won’t do it outside bed either. They may have their principles. They may follow someone else’s prescribed “wisdom.”

If the guy would think you are a sl*t because you would do the same thing that he would do, I would see that as his problem. If the guy would think that a girl is a sl*t because she can sleep with someone too soon, why would he think any different if she says she could do it, but she’ll refrain from that? And she will not do it just so he doesn’t think badly about her!

If you jump into something with passion, that’s sexy, not slutty. If you don’t do something because you are afraid what someone else may think, that’s lack of self-confidence. That’s unsexy. And it is better they see you as slutty, than unsexy.

I tend to believe that if you feel the spark you can’t think if he’ll call you the day after. And if the spark is really there, he will beg you to stay even after the morning after.

If you are up for something, go for it. If you enjoy something, and it’s not toxic, there’s no reason to feel ashamed of it.

And once you know what you want, you won’t be tempted to do something just to please someone else. No one will be able to make you feel guilty for not going against your values, principles, feelings, and not putting someone else’s needs before your own.

Charlotte is very confused. You don’t want that to happen to you.

Charlotte: I can’t, Brian. I want to, but I can’t. I mean, actually no, that’s not true. I don’t want to. Or maybe I do. I don’t know what I want. But I’m afraid if I don’t, you’ll dump me. And if I do, then I’ll be the up-the-butt girl. And I don’t want to be the up-the-butt girl, because I mean… Men don’t marry up-the-butt girl. Whoever heard of Mrs. Up-The-Butt? No, no, no. I can’t. I want children and nice bedding, and I just can’t handle this right now.

Charlotte believes that there’s only one way, good-girls’ way to get the ring. But then came a big surprise.

Carrie: The idea that Samantha could possibly get married before her shook Charlotte’s beliefs to the core.

Surprisingly enough, there’s one moment when I can understand Charlotte.

Charlotte: I just don’t understand. How could you forget someone you slept with?

Carrie says they are not in single digits anymore. Alrighty. But still, how can you forget?

It’s not about me being particularly picky. Maybe I just happen to have a good memory. I still know the phone number of the boy I met when I was 10. And I still remember how the first guy I kissed felt. OK, we revived memories just the other weekend. He came from the other continent. He came for a visit after two decades. And the kiss was tastier than memory.


Charlotte: I just know no matter how good I feel about myself, if I see Christy Turlington, I just want to give up!

Miranda: Well, I just want to tie her down and force-feed her lard, but that’s the difference between you and me.

Miranda sure has more of male energy than Charlotte. Being wife, being mother, for Miranda is not enough.

Miranda: Sometimes, as much as I love Brady, being a mother just isn’t enough. I miss my job.

Still, she doesn’t escape girlie girl clichés.

Miranda: I’m a 34-year-old woman with braces and I’m on a liquid diet.

Miranda: The only two choices for women; witch and sexy kitten.

She forgot sexy witches and bitches.

Miranda: Why do we get stuck with old maid and spinster and men get to be bachelors and playboys?

Samantha: If I worried what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I’d never leave the house.

Thank god that someone doesn’t care.

Duncan: I’m just one of those weird male aberrations who prefers to be married. I like stability, I like routine. I like knowing there’s people waiting for me at home. I guess that makes me sound pretty dull.

Miranda: Are you kidding? You’re the heterosexual Holy Grail.

Carrie assumes that the holy grail of women, even modern New York City women is to marry. Not even marry well. If all women want to get married and if you are single, that means no one wanted to ‘take’ you, right? Sure… Samantha would laugh. Samantha and I, that is.

Carrie: Sunday is the one day a week you get the single woman’s sports pages: the New York Times wedding section.

Carrie has some moments similar to Charlotte’s. The difference is that she’s intellectualizing them.

Carrie: The truth is, I was dying to sleep with him. But isn’t delayed gratification the definition of maturity?

Carrie: The longer I sat at that table, the more alone I felt. And it really hit me: I am 35 and alone!

It looks like there’s a certain age when it’s more difficult to be alone. Why? Being 35 and alone matters if you want kids. And if you are female. We may live longer than our ancestors. We may use Botox. And still, we age. The clock is ticking. Eggs are dying out. Some women get so frantic in their search for future father of their offspring that it seems like they’d be better off finding a sperm donor.

The idea is that most women are looking for the one. But if they are looking for too long, there comes the question – is it that the Prince Charming didn’t pass their way or they are more into devilish affairs?


Carrie: Are we simply romantically challenged, or are we sl*ts?

It’s not a problem when someone else calls you names. The problem is when you answer.

Showing too much skin at the wrong time or wrong place can be slutty. I won’t say that men love sl*ts but most of them can forgive if they feel your body too soon. I mean, what’s too soon? It’s before you feel like it. And many men are vain enough to believe that it’s Him that dragged you to bed with his charm. That you just couldn’t resist him. And most man would marry the girl that can resist others, but just can’t stay away from Him.

If you want him to run to you, you need to give him a bite or two, and make him come for more. You need to make him want more of you. People find normal loving at first sight and they still have some issues with sex at first bite.

But there’s a way bigger chance he’ll marry you if you had some sexual pyrotechnics the day one, than if you confessed your love, forever and ever, on your first date.

Carrie: I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty.

Great sex can lead to great romance. Why sex is called lovemaking? Because it can make, it can create love!

It’s not Sex and the City, it’s Marc Maihueird’s quote, but I believe it, every word of it – Love is what we call the situation which occurs when two people who are sexually compatible discover that they can also tolerate one another in various other circumstances.

And if you don’t get your forever and ever romance, if you don’t get forever and ever of bed fireworks, no biggie. Take each day, each night, one by one. Eventually, it adds up to many.

You can be happy because you’ve met the one to spend the life with or you can be happy because you meet many you can share parts of self and your life with. How many people find everything they need in one?

Variety is the key. But you can get variety with the one person. And you can get drowned in the boring routine of apparently exciting life where nothing is stable.

Carrie: Are we dating? I thought we were just sleeping together.

Carrie is letting Him decide for her. She wants to date. She thinks he wants freedom. She wants him. So she’ll be with him on his terms.

Then she wants to marry. Again, he’s backing off. At one point they come to talk about it casually.


Mr. Big: Would you want to get married?

Carrie : Well, I didn’t, didn’t think that was an option.

Mr. Big: What if it was an option?

Carrie : Why? What? Do you want to get married?

Mr. Big: I wouldn’t mind being married to you. Would you mind being married to me?

Carrie : No, no, not, not if that’s what you wanted. I mean, is, is that what you want?

Mr. Big: I want you. So, ok.

Carrie Bradshaw: So really, we’re, we’re getting married?

Carrie lets Him decide. Carrie lets Him see how much she wants that. He’s only accepting it. He’s not enthusiastic about it. But she is about to jump from joy. Her Big One said it was ok for them to get married.

Then again, he runs away. We don’t cry. Carrie does. OK, some girls cry too. Girls that can imagine themselves in the same scenario.

When Big disappears and Carrie is devastated, she realizes that it’s all her fault.

Carrie: I let the wedding get bigger than Big.

If there’s anything that’s her fault there, it’s just one thing – you don’t go chasing the one you want to marry. The one you want to marry for love. You can chase the one you want to marry for money. You can chase the guy around the corner if his body or anything about him gives you a promise of anything to remember. But if you ever need to get married, don’t you think it should be someone you want and someone that wants you and you and no one but you?

Some things change. Some things stay the same. Man is still the one to go down on his knee. You can try to push him into marriage. You can make him pop the question. But if he’s not sure that it’s been his idea all along, the marriage you put yourself in can be hard on your knees.

But of course, you can disregard all this, if your goal is just the (big) wedding. And you don’t care about (happily ever) after.

Cover photo: www.fanpop.com

About the author


Writer, talker, walker, joker. Contradictory, capricious, postmodern fragmented, direct, too direct sometimes, playful, holding no grudges and regrets. If you can't find her, she's somewhere chasing summer around the world.

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