6 Ways Being “Too Nice” Can Hurt You

Too nice? Yes, it’s an issue that more people deal with than you may think. There are plenty of surefire signs that can be used to determine one’s level of nice-ness and when it goes too far.

Spineless, pushover, doormat, people-pleaser… Have you been called any of these unfortunate nicknames? If so, it’s more than likely that you’re allowing yourself to be too nice to others and not so nice to yourself.

Try to be aware of your actions toward others over the next few days and see if you notice any of these warning signs in your behavior.

You apologize for everything.

young woman apologize

You feel the need to apologize for every mistake you might make from bumping into someone at the office to forgetting to return a phone call. This can also turn into apologizing for things that aren’t your fault or even apologizing for something that’s completely out of anyone’s control.

The next time you find yourself apologizing for the rainy weather, you might need to address that you have a personal problem on your hands.

Saying “I’m sorry” is a nice person’s way of admitting wrong and trying to fix a problem. A person who is too nice wants to avoid conflict at all times, and in their minds, those two words are a quick fix to everything.

Unfortunately, that’s not always the case, and it’s not always necessary. Don’t waste your breath apologizing for something that’s small and irrelevant or something that wasn’t even your fault to begin with.

You give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

You have a big heart and you don’t want to believe that anyone could have a mean bone in their body.

Unfortunately, people aren’t always nice, so giving everyone the benefit of the doubt runs the risk of being proven wrong later on. Under certain circumstances, it’s okay to believe in second chances, but it’s important to be smart and consider the context.

People who are constantly giving others the benefit of the doubt often come across as naïve people who are easily taken advantage of. No one likes to be taken advantage of.

It’s impossible to stand up for yourself.

You’re constantly hearing from others, “You need to stand up for yourself”. This is something you’re aware of, but can’t seem to conquer. Every time you convince yourself you’re going to speak your mind, there are no words and fear of confrontation leaves you cowering.

You envy people who aren’t afraid to let it all out, and wish you weren’t afraid to do the same. This is a quality that is redeeming at times when standing up for yourself could get you into trouble, but it’s important not to allow others to walk all over you.

You’re very giving.

You’re the first to share your belongings if it’ll help someone and you get a feeling of satisfaction when you can offer help. Christmas isn’t your favorite holiday because you receive gifts, but because you get pleasure in handing them out.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying providing for others. After all, sharing is caring. However, if you’re not careful, this can turn into others taking advantage of you in the blink of an eye. If you’re known for being the one who always provides, some people may begin to use you for only that.

You work harder than everyone else.

Tired businesswoman at office desk waking up with pillow and coffee

Giving 100 percent in all you do isn’t enough—you’re always striving for more. Again, this is a golden quality to have in a person and professional. However, people who are “too nice” tend to work harder to make up for others’ lack of work.

Not only do they work harder, they do it quietly most of the time. This is where the “too nice” part comes in. This type of person lets others take credit for their work, which can lead to tension in the workplace and stress.

You neglect yourself.

You’re always putting those closest to you before yourself. Whether it be your family, friends or coworkers, you tend to put your needs on the backburner without even realizing it.

Before you know it, you’ve spent all your extra money on your roommate’s milk and eggs and can’t afford the haircut you really need. Staying healthy and happy is vital to a balanced lifestyle. Although some may think so, it’s not completely shameful and selfish to put your own personal needs before those of others.

It’s okay to consider yourself someone who is nice to others and enjoys doing so. It’s even acceptable to align with a few of the mentioned qualities without necessarily be considered “too nice.”

That’s when you begin to allow yourself to slip into the background of life because you’re drowning in commitments made out of friendliness that such a characteristics become a problem. It’s an identity that many hide behind out of personal fears and anxieties, but realizing these qualities is the first step towards more balanced and rewarding relationships with all.

So, what’s the verdict? Are you “too nice”? Let us know in the comments below.

About the author

Kayla Blanton

Kayla is a firm believer in finding positivity in every situation, and wearing as much makeup as the heart desires. She studies journalism at Ohio University and is always up for a challenge, as long as coffee is involved.

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