Ten Skills From Naturally Confident People to Help Build Your Self-Esteem

Confidence doesn’t come naturally to everyone and lack of confidence will affect us all at one time or another. Here are skills to help you when you’re feeling less than confident.

Insecurity and self-doubt can take away the joy in a relationship or simply detract from enjoying life in general, so take a look at our 10 simple tips to take in your stride that could help to increase your confidence.

1. Be Happy


Audrey Hepburn told us that happy girls are the prettiest girls, and it seems that being happy is a common trait of confident people. Maybe it’s the smile that comes from being happy, or maybe it’s simply the feeling inside; whatever it is, happiness is definitely a trait connected to confident people.

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” – AH

2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

It’s time to stop comparing yourself with others; singers, actresses, the girls at work and even your friends. Take a look at yourself and remind yourself about all your good bits; Are your legs long? Are your breasts shapely? Do you have a narrow waist? Long hair? A cute nose? Big eyes? Whatever it is, find those things and show them to your best advantage.

3. Listen More Often

People love to talk about themselves and it’s good to ask lots of open-ended questions—that’s questions that start with, who, why, what, when, or where. Remember to stop and listen fully to the answers. You don’t have to be talking all the time; you don’t have anything to prove and listening can be such a good quality.

4. Be Authoritative

When you talk, make sure you speak with authority. Eye contact should ensure that the person you are conversing with will listen to you, so look the person directly in the eye. Speaking with authority is not shouting, it’s speaking calmly and clearly on a subject that you know something about. Usually, it means being sure of your ground, or even admitting perhaps that you don’t know much about the subject but you are willing to give your opinion.

5. Enjoy all Successes


Celebrate little successes as well as big ones. If you set yourself any type of goal and achieve it, remind yourself that you’ve done something worthwhile. Remember, it feels good to give credit where it’s due and praise others too; you don’t have to be the centre of attention, and you can bask in the glory of others sometimes.

6. Don’t be Afraid to be Wrong

We’ve all been there—in the middle of a conversation about something: politics, love, climate change, whatever the subject; and whilst we might feel passionately about it, we suddenly realise that the other person has made a better point. It’s your pride or ego talking when you can’t bring yourself to back down. It’s okay to say; that’s a very good point, or even, do you know what, you are right, I got that wrong. It takes a big personality to admit that, and you will command respect from it.

7. Don’t Be Afraid of Anything

Don’t let fear of failure stop you from trying something. If you see your chance, take it—especially if it’s something you’ve thought about or dreamt about, or even something that has just come up. Someone famous once said, “You don’t regret what you do, only what you don’t do…”, so if you want it and you think that it’s right for you, stick your neck out, be bold and just do it. You may gain admiration for your can do attitude.

8. You can Say No!

You don’t have to agree to everything or accept every invitation, so don’t give in to pressure to say yes to something if you really you want to say no. If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. Only say yes if you mean it. There is nothing wrong with saying no, thanks but no thanks, because it’s not what you want to do. It can feel good for your self-esteem—it’s your life and your decision.

9. Ask for Help

It’s okay to ask for help, so don’t sit and suffer on your own. Depending on the situation, people can feel flattered to be asked to help someone and most people will try to help if they can. So try asking yourself, “I wonder if you can you help me?” or “Can you help me please?” In my experience, most people will respond positively to someone asking for help, saying something like, “What do you need?”, or “I’ll certainly try my best,” and some people will just say, “Yes, of course.”

10. Be Positive and Optimistic


Rather than thinking your glass is always half-empty, be glad that it’s usually half-full. You still need to be a realist, of course, but seeing the best side of a situation as well as the best side of a person is a great way to feel good about the world and yourself.

Let us know about your confidence boosters. We’d love to hear how they worked for you!

About the author


I love people, what they say and how they show the world who they are. I love to write short stories, books, blogs and articles. I’m just as happy singing with the band in front of an audience or singing in the shower and I like to explore new things and discover new places.

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