What to Do After Death of Someone Close

You’ve lost someone you really cared about, and you have a hard time getting over it. Days go by, and the only thing you can think about is the last look of your mother, father, husband... And how you never really thought that day will come. You wonder how is it possible that one day he’s here, and the other day...

The other day is the first day of the rest of your life in which you don’t get to see someone you really cared about. How do you move on? We won’t lie to you- we’ll try to make you laugh, and really help you to see the bright side.

Bullshit that People Say

When my father died, the thing that bugged me most was the bullshit people tell you. “He was a good man.” For sure, he was a very interesting character. Novel material, indeed. But, really, good? I’d rather settle for novel material instead of “good.” “If there’s something I can do…” Sure, how ‘bout a resurrection? Can you do that? I mean, if you can, that would be great, I’d appreciate that.

“Sorry about your father’s death.” Sorry is something you say when you break a glass when you’re a guest. “And I saw him just the other day at the supermarket.” Well, good for you. Maybe your new hair cut was the cause of his heart attack.

Bullshit they Tell You to Make You Feel Better

Woman receiving condolences

“He’s in a better place now.”  I’d have to agree with them on one thing – any place is better than this one. Did he go to Coste hotel in Paris? Seems like something he would do.

“It was just his time.” How was it his and if so, who gave it to him? Santa? Did he buy the time at the mall?

“I can see him having a bottle of wine as we talk, sitting on a big cloud, singing with his late brother.”

Really? What happens if it starts raining? Does he fall of the cloud, into a candy store, maybe? In fact, it is raining right now – is my dad in Cambodia?

It won’t make you feel better. Although, it all comes with a good intention.

What Might Help

lotus zen

When I was a kid, I really hated science classes. Don’t get me wrong, I did eventually pass it. Still, I remember one lesson that was interesting. It’s called the law of conversion of matter. It basically says that you can’t destroy, or create matter, but that you can only change its state.

In matters of death, I apply it by thinking how you can only become something else when you die. Not in a way, when I die, I’ll become a unicorn. I’m not a toddler. But look at it this way. The body of a loved one is now ashes, or might get eaten by worms. Yes, that might not be the happiest thought.

It isn’t destroyed. But what happens to the soul? If you think of someone’s soul as pure energy, it can’t be destroyed. I personally like to think that the soul becomes a song or maybe the electricity between people in love. It’s there.

And if you think of them as a song, a song has so many advantages, in comparison to humans. A song doesn’t get angry. A song never has other things to do, then to be listened.

So, sing it.

About the author


Those who can’t do teach – same with me giving you love advice. I like jazz and the theatre, old movies that I watch while drinking wine, but most of all I like love and smiles.

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