A few years back I looked at some of my girlfriends and asked myself what it was they did that made men fall for them so easily? Sure they were attractive women, but I knew that wasn’t why men were all over them. It was something else.
Likewise, I’ve had the same looks always – that’s to say I’ve had no plastic surgery or drastic body changes – but there was a time when no men would look at me and then suddenly all that changed. Why? Ah, that is the secret to what attractive women do…
1. They don’t let men rule their life
You’ve just met a guy. You get a text. You reply instantly, because the text is so much more important than the business you’re launching, or your next exam in school.
Then he asks you if you can meet him Wednesday and you cancel on the girls, because clearly this stranger is more important than your best friends.
He'll give his heart to the first woman who does this...
When you show up on the Wednesday you’ve already decided this is the man of your dreams and you’ll do anything to get him.
You should get excited about the texts – it’s fun. You will want to see him as soon as possible – it’s normal. You are likely to see yourself walking down the aisle before you even kiss him – it’s what imagination is for; you test things out.
However, you should not prioritize him over work and friends, nor decide to do anything for him until he’s shown you who he truly is and that he’s worth it.
It’s not about being hard to get, it’s about showing that you won’t accept just anyone into your life. The guy has got to prove himself. In the process you show your worth. If you are confident with yourself and men, this will come naturally.
Though some men do tend to set us into a headsman, don’t they? That’s when we need to remember to stay firm…
2. They appreciate men
“Men are bastards” is a poor philosophy invented by women who picked the wrong men.
Men are not bastards. Men are not without emotions. Men are not only interested in sex, but they do like it.
Men are human beings. They like love and appreciation as much as you do. Needing a man to feel sufficient isn’t the same as appreciating a man, however. There’s a distinction between praise and throwing yourself at his feet.
My friends who got so many men, what do you think they did? They complimented men. All. The. Time. They laughed at their jokes, they were open and friendly with them, they praised them and teased them and they weren’t scared of giving them a hug. In short, they made them feel appreciated.
As these women knew their own boundaries, they weren’t scared of letting men close and show them appreciation.
3. They touch men
Low and behold people feel better when they are touched in a non-slimey way. If you touch someone’s arm when speaking with them, it makes them feel closer to you.
It connects you. And whatever biochemistry is going on, it aids in the attraction department.
4. They give them some
Some women have it in their heads that men wanting sex is a bad thing. It’s no worse than you wanting a hug. It’s human. It’s biochemistry. So give them some!
I’m not saying you should have sex with them though, I’m saying make yourself attractive. Dress up to feel sexy. Wear red underwear underneath your dress. Know you’ve got what it takes to make a man think he’s died and gone to heaven.
Play with innuendo. Appreciate that men appreciate sex. Don’t get offended by it – the whole male race appreciates it! So embrace it. Enjoy it. It’s you they want for crying out loud!
Do not think that sex appeal or even sex itself will make a man fall for you though. Alone it’s nothing. Together with a personality he’s in love with and a sound way of relating to him, it’s everything.
You know the difference between slimey men and men who appreciate women (sometimes known as womanizers)? The former attaches themselves to you like a leech and you can literally see that all they can think of is sex – they can’t read any signals saying you aren’t interested.
They don’t try to form a bond with you, they just want sex with you. It’s as if they think themselves rightfully having a claim on you.
The latter, on the other hand (womanizers that is), like women and appreciate all of woman – from head to toe. They also don’t need women to prove themselves (i.e. their ego won’t break if one woman says no to them) and they get enough sex, so there’s no desperation.
They will never force themselves upon you. They will read your signals and back off if a “no” really is meant as a “no”.
The difference between these kind of men, is sort of like the difference between women who appreciate their own sensuality and women who think they can manipulate men with it, or need men to acknowledge it as they feel inferior in other areas.
One is a beautiful woman, the other is desperate.
Appreciate the fact that men will appreciate your sensuality as much as the rest of you. When you like someone, show them your sensual side and appreciate theirs.
5. They have people skills
You know pick-up skills? Basically men learn to pick-up women. Well, there are skills women can use to pick-up men too.
People often mistake this for being some sort of personality changing thing. It’s not. It’s no different from learning to say please and thank you – people react to you differently depending on what you say and do.
We all know what it’s like talking to people who don’t know how to put a point across without being rude. Yet they might mean no harm – they just never learnt people skills.
And whilst we think it obvious to say please and thank you, many of us were never taught the rest of what is needed to interact with people successfully.I know, because I was very shy growing up and I had to learn social skills as I got older.
It was very confusing at first, because I thought people didn’t like me, whilst in fact they didn’t see me as I was too shy. If people can’t see you, they can’t like you.
Learning people skills will help you on so many levels. You career, your friendships…even a trip to the local shop can be completely transformed if you learn how to interact with people better.
The thing is, even if you take it too far and try to manipulate people with these kinds of skills (you most certainly shouldn’t, but it’s what mentalists do for a living), men won’t fall in love with the skills.
A man will look at all of you. And you won’t lose your personality because you learn how to approach someone at a party – rather your personality will come out to play in a much bigger way.
Books like The Game and How to Make Friends and Influence People will teach you how your approach to someone will alter their reactions. These books will also show you that by the end of the day your personality is what you need to show off – people skills is just a way of opening someone up to see you.
Attractive women are women who know their own worth and communicate it. They don’t give into a man unless they know him. They appreciate men though – and they show it! They listen to them, compliment them and touch them when speaking with them.
They’re friendly with them, because they like them and know their own boundaries, so they don’t fear men will cross them as they wouldn’t let them. They also appreciate that men like sex and rather than giving them a hard time for it, they embrace it.
They’ve learnt people skills and know how to approach people to make them open up to them. They knock on the door in such a way that it will be opened and whoever opens it will take the time to check out who’s on the other side. Hopefully, next time, it will be you.