Love

9 Reasons Why Love Is Not Working Out For You

The dating world isn’t always kind and you’ll have to be resilient, patient and persistent to find the right guy. However, if you’re still ending up with the wrong guys, then maybe it’s you!

There are many women who, despite their best efforts, are still unsuccessful in relationships. If this sounds like you, then continue reading for nine major reasons why love may not be working out for you.

1. You don’t learn from your lessons

Young couple with relationship difficulties

With each heartbreak you experience comes a lesson. When you learn the lesson and apply it to your next relationship, two things happen. First, you prevent history from repeating itself.

Second, you don’t get into the vicious cycle of dating the wrong guys for the wrong reasons. The bottom line is: you don’t only do your homework when it comes to dating. You also learn your lessons and you learn them well so that you don’t end up wasting your time with guys who don’t deserve you.

2. You’re confused about what you want

The first guy has a gorgeous body, but he’s a player. The second one looks like a nerd but has a good sense of humor. The truth is, when it comes to the dating world, you’ll have a hard time finding a guy who has all the qualities you have on your list.

Mr. Right will definitely lack one or more of the qualities you’re looking for. So, list the top three qualities that you believe are the most important. Then, if the guy you’re seeing has all three, go for it. If not, move on to the next one. Don’t settle for anyone less just because you’re afraid you’ll end up without a partner.

3. You want to have it all

Even if you’re a total catch: you can’t have it all. Your guy, however perfect he may seem to you, has insecurities and flaws. The sooner you can accept that, the happier you will be!

4. You want what you can’t have

Boy and girl sitting on the bank of the lake

You’d probably have more chances of winning if you dated someone with the same level of looks and maturity as you. Yes, it’s always worth pursuing men who challenge you in one way or another but before you do it, ask yourself if it’s really a sensible and realistic thing to do for you. If you think it is, then by all means go for it.

5. You’re friends with complacency

You tend to think that because you’re a total catch, you can sit back and wait for guys to come knocking at your door. No! You have to go out there and actually meet them, get to know them and maybe go out on a few dates with some of them. In short, put in an effort.

6. You love procrastinating

There are times when procrastination really benefits you, but when it comes to dating, you have no business procrastinating. You can’t sit back and say, “I need to work on myself,” or “I need to be the one I’m looking for first” before you go out and meet new guys.

The truth is that you will always be a work in progress. You won’t be perfect and neither is the Mr. Right you’re looking for. So, stop procrastinating and get out of your comfort zone. Go out there and see who will see you for what you’re worth.

7. You write men off too easily

young couple sitting on large concrete steps

It’s okay to say “Hi” then “Bye” to a guy if you spot obvious signs in him that tell you he’s not the partner you’re looking for. However, just because the guy you’re eyeing is wearing a shirt you don’t like or showing signs of something you consider to be a turn off doesn’t mean that you should write him off completely.

If you do this, you’ll end up with no one. Be a little more forgiving of men’s flaws. They’re as imperfect as us. What matters most is how they carry themselves and how they treat you.

8. You want men who are on a different path to yours

You’re in your 20s, between jobs and addicted to wanderlust. The man you’re seeing is in his 30s, and although he’d love to travel from time to time, he’s all about stability.

He’s financially stable and preparing to settle down while you’re still trying to figure out who you want to be in the world. These differences can cause you significant troubles in the long run, so before you get invested in the relationship, check whether or not he’s ready to travel the road you’re on.

9. You pursue men whose life goals don’t mesh with you

Long-term romantic relationships between two people survive because of many things, but one of the most important factors that play a crucial role in their success is the life goals of the individuals.

So, if your goals are completely different from his, you can be sure that being together will be a challenge. Find someone who’s into the same things you’re into so that you’ll have a better chance of making the relationship survive and thrive.

Now that you know why love may not be working out for you right now, it’s time to shake up your dating strategies a bit. Consider where you need to make adjustments and when you’ve finally identified them, go ahead and give dating another shot again. You’ll never know when you’ll land in the arms of Mr. Right. Good luck!

Have you had any luck with the guys you’ve dated in the past? Can you identify with any of the above reasons? Share your thoughts in the comments!

About the author

Maine Belonio

Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus.

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