It may seem that the process of going through your divorce was the hardest part. However, many people also find that learning how to recover from divorce, is where the real difficulty lies.
Sadly, getting a divorce seems to become a more common occurrence and it is leaving countless people left unsure of how to feel, carry on with their lives, what to do, and react. Despite feeling a massive array of feelings after a divorce that has shaken up and even destroyed your entire world, life continues. As a result of divorce, many people find they get lost.
Yes, every divorce is different, difficult, tragic, saddening, and every person reacts to getting a divorce in a different way. However, there are some methods, ideas, and suggestions which can help teach you how to recover from divorce. Read on to learn how to start recovering!
Ride out the feelings
This may seem horribly difficult and painful, but this is very important as it will be painful now, but help you later on in life. This is a crucial step to recover after a divorce and it will allow you to go through the very normal emotions that come with a divorce.
He'll give his heart to the first woman who does this...
It is normal to feel betrayed, violated, mad, sad, untrusting, like you are nothing, empty, alone, weak, dumped, heartbroken, damaged, incomplete, depressed, humiliated, ashamed, and many other feelings. It is healthy to feel this way while recovering from a divorce and to embrace these feelings, but only to a certain extent.
While feeling these feelings, it is also important to pick yourself up and realize that you are still beautiful/handsome, smart, funny, and you. Additionally, you need to not repress these feelings as they will hinder you from recovering, or down the road from committing to another person. Although, right now you may feel like you never want to be with someone again, that may change later on.
That is why you need to go through these emotions, to not only be healthy for yourself but to also not bottle up these emotions which will be bound to burst at some point or to get in the way of you living your life and healing.
You are not a victim, so don’t play one
Despite riding out the feelings being a method of how to recover from divorce, at some point, it needs to stop when you are ready…or even not ready. Life continues to go on even though it may seem that yours is in ruins. However, it isn’t, and thinking that way is also a method of playing the victim.
After a divorce, you may find that you blame yourself, or other people in your life. However, you need to own up to your part of the reasons that the marriage ended, and then to also realize that it wasn’t all your fault. The key to doing this is to realize what happened, and who was responsible for what happened, but to also accept what happened and to try and move on slowly.
As hard as this may seem, you need to embrace your life, what you have, and to continue to live your life. It helps to start doing things that you used to love doing and to also just appreciate and start loving yourself. This is a crucial step in recovering from a divorce as it will help you become you again. It will also be a reminder that you are strong, nothing can stop you, and will remind you that you can do anything that you put your mind too.
You are not a victim, live life on your terms, pick yourself up, tell yourself that you are amazing, worthy, and beautiful/handsome.
Better yourself at areas you want to improve, and work your way up in life to where you want to be, you can’t sit there crying, you need to stand, act, and live your life.
Emotions will hit you in waves, so deal with it
That may sound harsh, but even after you feel like you have recovered, you may see your ex-husband/wife, be reminded of them, or just have some feelings emerge. This is normal, natural, and highly likely. However, do not let this set you back or push you down even further. This is just another hurdle that is on the road to recovering from your divorce.
A good way to recover from this is to remind yourself of who you are, how you are better without them, how far you have come, and how amazing you are.
After such emotional turmoil, your life will seem by far, very different and a mess. You won’t have the same routine or same life anymore. An important method for people who are trying to figure out how to recover is to rest.
Take some time off of work, relax, and spend your time focusing on yourself. This may seem difficult, especially if you have kids. However, getting your family to help you take care of them while you figure out what you are doing and to relax may be a good idea.
You are not alone
Although going to other people such as friends and family may seem ironic considering that you just went through a divorce, it is very beneficial. Having friends and family there to support you, talk with you, listen to you, give you advice, or just sit quietly with you is a very helpful method of recovery.
Getting a divorce means that all traditions, memories, moments, words and actions of love, pictures, items, meals, and everything you had and used to do are going to hurt, and never happen again.
Many people feel like this is one of the worst parts as everything that made the two of you so special, is now never going to happen again, and is just a display of the amazing love and connection you once had, that is now gone.
However, it is more than that. These memories may hurt at first, but after a while think about them as a part of your life that was so amazing, and then remember to carry on with your life. By acknowledging the loss, and seeing the good in it, it will help you move on and to enjoy parts of your past, and will ease you into loving your future.
After a divorce you may be unsure of what to do, so start making goals of things you have always wanted to do. By doing this you will have made a section that is very personal to you and will help show you how to recover from divorce.
Some examples of goals could be getting that promotion you have always wanted, to rejoin the workforce in a career you have always wanted, or to lose weight. Some others could be to start dressing to impress more, to exercise more, to spend more family time, or to paint or do a hobby you have always wanted.
Plan for the future
Like goal setting, this is a way of moving on by keeping busy and by working towards something you want.
Plan a vacation, road trip, or even just a movie day at the end of your week just to perk you up. The point of this is to help you relax, look forward to doing something, and to just focus on you and plan to make yourself happy.
Your old routine ceases to exist, so it’s time to commit yourself to a new one by making one that suits your needs, makes you happy, and works for your new life.
Or, maybe you don’t want to get stuck in a rut or routine, if that suits what you want to do in life, plan adventures for you to enjoy, do what makes you happy, and do few things that you have to do in life (work) to then enjoy your new found freedom.
Figuring out how to recover from divorce is difficult. After all, divorce is something that turns a person’s life upside down and is something that ruins a lot in a person’s life. However, despite the damage that is done, there are steps that can be done in order to help speed the recovery up in a healthy manner.
By using the methods mentioned above, you will be able to slowly move on with your life and to then start loving it again. Good luck, and if you can think of any more methods on how to recover from divorce, feel free to share below!