Romantic fiction is a genre that has never gone out of style. Throughout history, we’ve loved being swept off our feet by literary heroes and heroines who ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after!
But with the popularity of steamier stories like Fifty Shades of Grey and Bared To You, there’s been a boom in books on the market not only ready to sweep us off our feet but get us reaching for a cold shower!
This explosion of romance and erotica into the mainstream is doing more than get us hot under our literary collars. These novels’ unprecedented success has sparked an open discussion into previously taboo subjects such as BDSM as well as sex as a whole, leading millions of readers to explore their own sexualities more openly.
So how romantic fiction can spice up your relationship?
Accept that relationships aren’t perfect
He'll give his heart to the first woman who does this...
In romance and erotic novels alike, we are often given an idealized version of love and relationships. Our literary lovers automatically know which spots to hit for multiple orgasms and/or fall madly in love and live happily ever after in a “perfect” relationship/marriage. But in reality, relationships are not perfect.
Whether you’ve just started dating someone or you’ve been married for years, every relationship goes through its highs and lows. In between being madly in love and making happy memories, there’ll be times when you’ll bicker, argue, or even have times where you can’t stand the sight of each other.
In these novels, we don’t see what happens after the “happily ever after” which can lead some to have unrealistic expectations for relationships, leaving them pining for a love like their fictional counterparts.
Relationships take a lot of work, understanding, and communication to keep it strong, loving and long-lasting. Once we’ve accepted this, we can begin to let romance and erotica boost our relationships, rather than hinder them.
They stimulate our imagination
When we read, we naturally rely on our imaginations. We envisage the story’s setting through the words on the page, the characters’ looks, their personalities, and the locations. So when we read something of a romantic or steamy nature, our imaginations really have a chance to run wild.
The words on the page fire up our imaginations, releasing those endorphins and feel-good hormones into our systems, increasing not only our moods but our libido too!
So if we can get imaginative on the page, it can help us be more imaginative with our naughty escapades in the bedroom, as well as our relationship in general.
Igniting the romantic spark again
No matter how much you love your partner, every relationship can hit a lull at some point. Maybe you don’t go out as much as you used to, the stresses of modern living are taking their toll or you’re stuck in the rut of routine. It happens!
Maybe you want to reignite the spark you had when you first started dating, or strengthen what’s already there, but unsure of how to do it.
Reading about other people in love can leave us with the warm and fuzzy feelings we all want when we’re with someone special. Not only can it give you ideas to keep the spark alive, but perhaps identify a part of your relationship you really want to work on.
Many elderly couples who have been married for decades give similar advice for a lasting relationship: keep the romance alive!
So show your partner how much you appreciate and care about them and vice versa.
Surprise them with breakfast in bed one morning, a night out to dinner, or remember to give them a kiss goodnight before you go to bed. More often than not, it’s always the little things that make the biggest impact.
And the sexual spark too
Just like how visual material such as porn can stimulate our brains, reading material can too.
In the wake of the buzz surrounding Fifty Shades of Grey, there was a surge in singles and couples attending BDSM classes, buying toys from sex shops and experimenting with something they saw as new and exciting.
Rightly or wrongly, the book’s kinky themes piqued the curiosities of millions, all vying to explore another facet of their sexualities.
Reading something that sets our mind racing i.e. a romantic picnic scene, a sensual dance pent with anticipation, a steaming hot sex scene etc. can make us curious, wanting to try something new.
And on that note…
Let’s talk about sex
Wanting to try something you’ve read from a story can really open up the lines of communication with you and your partner.
Communication is such an important component in any relationship, especially in the bedroom. In order to have a fulfilling sex life, we have to communicate what we want. Talking is the best way to do that.
Talk about what you like, dislike, are curious about etc. Read a story together and see what you both enjoy! If there’s something you are eager to try i.e. using a blindfold or anal sex etc. ask your partner if they’re comfortable with trying it and respect whatever decision they come to. If the answer’s yes, great!
Take it slowly and see how you both feel. It’s important to keep the communication open so you can both explore your sexualities safely. You never know, you both may end up absolutely loving it!
That’s what it’s all about!
The whole point sprucing up your relationship is about having fun with your significant other. Of course, we want it to work, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your partner. Pressure takes the fun out of just about anything!
So if you’re reading an adorable or naughty story, either together or on your own, see it as an exploration rather than a how-to manual. If something goes hilariously wrong, don’t be afraid to laugh!
Stay safe, communicate, have fun and you’ll be well on the way to a spicy love life!
Would you read to hot up your relationship? Let us know in the comments below!