How to Introduce Your Guy to Anal Sex

Anal sex isn’t for everyone, but here are some important sex tips and advice on how to introduce your guy to anal sex for the first time.

‘What Exactly Is Anal Sex?

Anal sex, in case you haven’t already guessed it, is when a couple enjoys foreplay and sexual intercourse using anal stimulation and penetration. A common misconception though, is that anal sex has to involve anal penetration. This is often what puts most couples off trying anal sex, because they are worried that it might be unhygienic, painful or unpleasant.

The fact is that a lot of the pleasure has very little to do with the full and often aggressive penetration that we normally associate with “anal sex.” These misconceptions are largely derived from watching porn and women who have taken relaxants and numbing lotions. But what is the point in having anal sex if you can’t feel any of the pleasure because your ass is numb?

Why Is Anal Sex Exciting?

Anal sex can be pleasurable on so many different levels if your mind is open to it. If you want to entice your guy to try anal sex with you, then you must first get him to understand what it is about anal sex that you find so exciting.

Much of the excitement is on a psychological level. Men and women are turned on by sexual acts that are interpreted as forbidden and taboo; anal sex has had a long reputation of being dirty and related to things that society has not accepted in the past, such as homosexuality and porn.

How Can You Change The Way He Thinks About Anal Sex?

When we tap into what turns us on mentally, we can open up new ways to enjoy ourselves and find pleasure. Anal sex provides the mental stimulation to excite us, because it is considered taboo – nobody is supposed to touch there!

Can you inspire your partner to start thinking about how much it turns you on to think about him touching you in that area? He will in turn feel turned on. That’s because arousal is transferable and highly contagious!

The more you can display how aroused the thought of anal sex makes you, the less your guy will be thinking about his own reservations. The more he will be thinking about how much he wants to see you getting aroused.

Make Sure He Knows What Is Involved First!

If your guy is reluctant to try anal sex, it might be because he is worried that he doesn’t really know what he is doing. It can help to do a bit of research together on doing anal sex for the first time. The more you both look into the subject, the more sexual anticipation you will build between you, which is a bonus!

When a guy feels he knows what to do, and he knows how to give you pleasure, his confidence increases and he can relax and start to enjoy himself. If a guy has to think too hard during sex, then it will take the excitement away, and his experience will be a stressful one instead of a pleasurable one.

Plenty of talking about anal sex before you actually come to trying out anything will help a lot! It will help to get you both in the right mood and feel properly connected, which is important because trying something new in the bedroom is an intimate experience; it can be intimidating if you don’t both feel close to one another. Trust is very important when it comes to enjoying anal sex!

What If You Want to Pleasure Your Guy With Anal Sex?

Most men are not up for any sort of anal penetration themselves because they associate it with homosexuality, or have other hang-ups about being touched in that area.

For a guy who has never enjoyed anal sex, being touched down there might make him feel too vulnerable.

It is a real shame that many men feel uncomfortable about receiving anal stimulation though. You can give a guy the most intense orgasm of his life. If only he would let you stimulate him where his G-spot is located!

One effective way of encouraging a guy to try anal sex is to let him play with you first.

Let him stoke and massage the entrance to your anus, and with a well-lubricated finger, let him gently penetrate you. Explain to him that he can’t go straight in. He has to ‘warm you up first’ so that your anal sphincter muscles relax. Let his fingers slide in and out, bit by bit.

If he is a bit squeamish, show him there is nothing to it by pleasuring yourself. He is likely to want to join in once he sees how much it turns you on, and how hard you can come with a bit of anal stimulation!

The trick is to educate him so that he can see exactly what is involved and exactly what to expect.

Men who have never tried anal sex before are most likely to be afraid of surprises, so show him that there aren’t any.

And if he is concerned about hygiene, simply make sure you both have had a shower and washed your external anal areas well.

If you both have healthy bowel cycles, then there should be no need to worry about not having a clear passage and no need for any internal flushing either!

What Excites You About Anal Sex? What Are Your Anal Sex Hang-ups?

It can help to know that there are plenty of other people who enjoy the same things as you. You’ll find out that many other couples have the same experiences that you are having. Suddenly you will realize that you are not as alternative as you may have thought.

Anal sex is something that many people enjoy nowadays. It is something that is normal in many sexual relationships.

Share your thoughts, fears and anal sex tips with YouQueen readers in the comments below. Get involved in the conversation!

About the author

Scarlett Robinson

I am inspired by the ways people interact. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. This is why I explore intimate relationships in my writing. (I’m also ever so slightly kinky.)


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  • First, I quite like your site! I am a man (not your target audience), but I dig the sexy time more like “typical” women (long foreplay, sustained intensity, etc). I am a bit of an odd bird, but have had few complaints. ;)

    One thing I feel this article is missing is a section on preparation for the indicated activity. In fact, this is something that is omitted from many female-targeted articles on anal play. I had to dig around on some gay sex sites to get some good info on it myself. There isn’t a lot to it, and many people may have guessed most of it but the two big takeaways I found were:

    1. Plan ahead. Don’t eat a big meal for a few hours to a day before (no-brainer, right?) and avoid high-fiber foods (yeah, now it’s in your head, sorry).
    2. Maintenance. Shave, wax, bleach as you see fit (or not, up to you). Enemas are a good idea, but DO NOT overdo it, since there is a rather delicate balance of chemicals and microorganisms in the region and upsetting that too much can lead to problems later.

    One tip I remember from (I think) Tristan Taormino’s book on the subject was: condoms, because anal may be good … fun, but this isn’t really the intended use of the apparatus so appropriate caution may be a good idea. I really love the polyisoprene ones over the old-school latex. They seem more durable and less chafe-y, as well as the fact that you’re eliminating a potential common allergen.