What to Do If His Penis Is Too Big

Yes, believe it or not boys, your penis can be too big! If your guy is well endowed and sex is painful or oral sex is difficult, here are some ways to get around it.

Guys are often envious of other guys who have a bigger penis. But, the truth is that we girls are happy with an average-sized penis that won’t break us from the inside.

When a guy pulls his pants down and we are faced with his giant member, that look of disbelief on our faces isn’t necessarily admiration. It is actually disbelief – disbelief that it will fit, without a lot of ripping, stretching and general agony.

Luckily we underestimate the capacity of our vaginas and the potential stretch it has. Remember ladies, it was designed to let a baby out, and a baby is a lot bigger than any guy’s penis. Of course, nobody wants to associate sex with the pain of giving birth, do they?

What to Do If His Penis Is Too Big

Sex with a well-endowed man doesn’t have to be a painful or even an uncomfortable experience, though.

So let’s look at some facts first… 

Vagina Facts

  • The average vagina is about 3-4 inches in length
  • During something called “Vaginal Tenting” it has the capacity to reach 5-6 inches or more (Read more about Vaginal tenting below).
  • Inside, the walls of your vagina are pleated so that it can expand to accommodate tampons, penises, dildos, babies, and whatever else women are pulling in and out!
  • Your vagina may seem smaller at certain times of the month due to your cervix lowering.
  • Your cervix won’t like being prodded by an extra long penis! This is why deep penetration can cause pain or make sex feel uncomfortable in certain positions.

Vaginal Tenting

Did you know that during sexual arousal a process occurs whereby muscle tension in your vagina pulls your uterus up when you are really turned on? This allows your vagina to expand like a wonderfully roomy tent.

Imagine it being like an umbrella and opening up! When this happens, even more room is created, which is why it is so important for your man to pay attention to foreplay, especially if he has an unusually large penis.

Benefits of Extended Foreplay:

  • Vaginal tenting, allowing more space for him to thrust.
  • Increased and continuous natural lubrication, making penetration easier and smoother for both of you.
  • Relaxed muscles and increased sensitivity around your vagina, making the whole sexual experience more pleasurable for you.

Remember that foreplay is essentially about getting into the right frame of mind. It’s about turning you both on so that intercourse feels natural, and your focus is entirely on the sensations you are both experiencing. A really good orgasm is based on equal proportions of physical and mental stimulation.

When you are dealing with an abnormally large penis it is even more important for your whole body and mind to be in a state of relaxation. The thought of his larger-than-life penis has probably already caused some tension in your body that will go against you both during sex.

Your aim should be to get your vagina into a relaxed state of openness so that it invites him in rather than resists him.

Warning: Some women make the mistake of thinking that alcohol will help them relax. While this may be true, it also numbs the senses making it more difficult for you to become physically aroused.

You may feel turned on in your head, but your body won’t agree. Alcohol dehydrates you. Your natural lubrication levels will be lowered – a major problem when you have to accommodate a large penis!

Using Lubrication When Having Sex With A Big Penis

Don’t just rely on your natural lubrication if you know your partner is well-endowed. Use everything at your disposal to give yourselves the opportunity to enjoy sex together. There are plenty of lubes to choose from and have some fun with, before and during sex.

Go for a water-based lubricant as it will be least likely to interfere and cause infections. You can play around with flavored lubricants and enjoy oral sex from your man beforehand. If he can bring you to have an orgasm or two before penetration your vagina is more likely to be receptive to his large penis and you’ll relax your muscles.

You are more likely to achieve an orgasm through penetration too if you have already had one or two prior to intercourse, because everything will be tingling nicely down there, ready to tip you over the edge again!

Make sure that his penis is lavishly lubed up before you start, and don’t forget to keep topping it up because lubricants dry out quickly, and go slow. Any man who knows his penis is a big one should know to take it easy. No sudden thrusts to catch you unawares.

Go Slowly

A man with a large penis has to give up from fast and dynamic movements during penetration. Slowly and gently is a winning combination in this case, and the pleasure will not be diminished.

Sex Positions To Avoid With An Extra-Large Penis

You may want to avoid certain sex positions that allow deep penetration if he is particularly long. If you feel a sharp sudden pain, or if you are feeling uncomfortable, it is probably because he is penetrating too deep and hitting the top of your vagina where your cervix is, which will be painful.

If he keeps going, and you grin and bear it, you will experience a bruised feeling for a few days in your lower abdomen, and in severe cases, you may even experience bleeding. 

  • Doggy-style is a no-no because it nearly always gives the guy an urge to thrust and go crazy… This is definitely going to hurt you if he has a long penis.
  • Anything with your legs up over your head that allows deep penetration will hurt.
  • Any position where he has all the control – unless you trust him immensely and he is super-patient and gentle.

The Best Sex Positions For An Extra-Large Penis

  • You on top is good because you will be able to control the depth of your thrusts, the pace, and well everything. Just don’t let him grab your hips and start banging you up and down on top of him! You can do this one lying in bed, or sitting on a chair too, which adds to the variety.
  • Missionary can be good, especially if you close your legs to prevent him from thrusting too deeply. Also, he can see your face and see if you are in pain!
  • Side-by-side is great because neither of you can thrust too deeply.
  • Spooning can be good too because unless he positions himself, he won’t get the angle to thrust too deeply.

Play around with different angles until you discover what is enjoyable.

A Quick Word On Oral Sex

Oral sex doesn’t just have to be about fitting his entire penis down your throat. There are plenty of ways to give a satisfying blow job that works well with a big penis. Here are some tips to keep in mind…

  • Remember that an amazing blowjob is about the whole experience!  So show enthusiasm, not fear. Lavish all of your attention on his penis – remember he’s probably very proud of it!
  • Do your research and find out what the most sensitive parts of his penis are. We have some great articles that tell you exactly what guys like and exactly how to stimulate each part of his penis.
  • Use your hands as well as your tongue, lips and mouth to stimulate his entire penis without having to fit all of it down your throat.
  • Don’t forget to stimulate his mind too. A sexy blowjob is about being creative, being a bit naughty, and loving every minute of it!
  • Dig around in your goody-draw to see which vibrating toys you can use to assist you…

About the author

Scarlett Robinson

I am inspired by the ways people interact. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. This is why I explore intimate relationships in my writing. (I’m also ever so slightly kinky.)


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  • My long term boyfriend of 14 years is very well endowed I was new to dating again so we took things slow so slow it was five weeks until we slept together his member was so big at first I thought he was playing a joke on me until I turned on the lights and pulled back the covers and discovered his extra big member I was shocked to say the least I’ve never seen one that big in person now I was nervous about the sex we we’re about to have all I could think is I made him wait 5 long weeks and he never once complained it would just seem rude not to try it plus I really took to him but all I can say is no matter how wet I was or slow and gentle or position we tried it still hurt I guess that’s to be expected with a length of 36cm and girth of 21cm but all and all I’m still with him and very happy despite some pain here and there I wouldn’t trade him in for anyone else

    • I have met a man that big and am frustrated that he’s unable to penetrate me deeply. I’m also dry since menopause which is making this worse. Is there a suppository that could help lube inside?

  • Lube helps a lot, and so does a penis health creme. These cremes are designed specifically for the penis, and will help moisturize and smooth out the penis skin. This will reduce friction and make things more pleasurable all around.