Relationships

7 Times You Unknowingly Betrayed Your Partner

Betrayal hurts—more so if it's someone you dearly love who subjects you to it. So, be careful not to do these ‘innocent’ things that can hurt your relationship in the long run.

A romantic and loving relationship requires both parties’ commitment and honesty. However, despite your best intentions, sometimes there are things you do that may not appear harmful to you, but can actually hurt you and your significant other if not addressed early on in your relationship.

This means that even if you aren't cheating, there are times that you do certain things that are actually a betrayal to your partner even though it’s not what you intended.

1. When you lie

Couple sitting on the bench in the garden and arguing

You're supposed to be honest with your partner all the time, but there are times that you have to lie to keep your relationship peaceful. Though lying may be necessary at times, it's important to think about what your motives are.

If you're lying because you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing and don't want your significant other to find out, then you should know that you're obviously in the wrong and have to stop.

2. When you flirt with someone

Whether it’s your co-worker, a schoolmate, neighbor or someone, flirting with someone because you like them and want to test the waters is wrong. It may seem innocent when it starts, but it may lead you to places you don't want to be—and shouldn't be in the first place.

3. When you have ‘secret relationships’

Businessman and a businesswoman flirting in an office

Of course, you have coworkers and friends you see and stay in touch with on a daily basis. There's nothing wrong with that except when you turn to them when you have conflicts in your relationship.

If you confide in them to vent, that's okay. However, this may lead to you developing an emotional affair with them, which is a betrayal to your partner.

4. When you complain about your partner to other people

Of course you will have problems with your partner, and they can be disappointing and even aggravating at times. However, complaining to your friends about them doesn't help because they only see the picture you paint.

They won't see the good things he does and the good qualities he may have (unless you mention them). So, if you can't stop complaining and your partner isn't ready to hear you out, write down your complaints, or, better yet, talk to a therapist.

5. When you criticize your partner in public

There are times when your arguments happen in public, and because you're exasperated, you can't help but spit venom. You may also have a tendency to roll your eyes or to give a sarcastic remark.

Whatever it is that you do, know that it can be hurtful to your partner, and despite the mistake they may have made, they don't deserve public humiliation.

Aside from this, what you do is a reflection of your character and you definitely don't want people around seeing you as a horrible and crazy girlfriend, right?

6. When you spend more time with others

Multi-ethnic hippie friends in a minivan on a road trip 2

Spending time apart is understandable when you work long hours or have deadlines to meet, but that’s why it’s important to relax and recharge with your partner on your days off.

Ask yourself how you spend your time during your days off. Is it still about work? Are you always on your phone even when you don’t need to be, or are you trying to make the most of your rest days to actually catch up with your loved ones? Your answer will determine whether or not you're betraying your partner.

7. When you're unreasonably selfish

Yes, there are times when you absolutely have to put yourself first. However, being selfish for no valid reason is a different story. It's even worse when you don't tell your partner why you're acting this way.

Your man is not and never will be a mind reader, so help him out by stating how you feel or why you're acting the way you are, even if you think the reason should be obvious.

This way, you allow him the chance to make up for his mistakes—if he actually made any. If he doesn't do anything despite calling him out on his mistakes, then you should think about whether it's still worth staying in the relationship.

Though cheating on your partner is still the ultimate betrayal, these little things are also acts of betrayal and often lead to the destruction of your relationship's foundation. It's best to address these now than to see the harmful effects it can cause in your relationship.

Have you ever been cheated on? How about any of these little acts of betrayal? Share your thoughts in the comments!

About the author

Maine Belonio

Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus.

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