Relationships

How to Deal with a Narcissist: Love Him or Leave Him

how to deal with a narcissist
Are you dating a guy whose ego is through the roof? Does your man think he’s God’s gift to women? If this sounds like him, then here is how to deal with a narcissist.

I’ve dated plenty of egotistical men in my time, but there is only one I would consider to have been a true narcissist. He was haughty, arrogant, picky about his clothes, and believed the world should be delivered to him on a gold platter. Needless to say, our relationship didn’t last long.

There are some ladies who are great with narcissists, they love these guys who always have the right clothes, know the right places, and look their best. The fact that they hate to be proven wrong does absolutely nothing to deter some women from dating a narcissistic guy.

That’s great! I think that everyone deserves to be happy.

If you’re like me, though, then you probably want to get rid of your overdramatic megalomaniacal man.

I have a solution for both these problems! Whether you’re trying to make it work, or to get rid of him, here’s all you’ll ever need to know about how to deal with a narcissist.

If you want to keep him

young couple doing gentle kissing and cuddling

If you really want to keep your man, the key thing to remember is to cater to his ego! Narcissists love themselves endlessly, so you will always come second to him, and he will love nobody as much as he loves himself. So, if you want to get him and keep him here’s how you can do it.

1. Sweetly butter him up

Giggle at all of his jokes, look at him with big doe eyes, and make sure that you only look at him. Don’t think even for a second of looking at any other man in the room because your narcissist will know it, and he’ll be thoroughly insulted. Sigh often (the good sigh, not the “I’m so bored right now” sigh) and flirt with him relentlessly.

2. Praise him

Is he a terrible driver? Tell him he’s the best! Does he drag you off shopping to purchase clothes that are not only the wrong colors on him but are also meant for a guy two decades younger? Tell him he looks amazing as you run your fingertips down his chest and give him that “Oh you sexy beast” look. Don’t believe me? I’ve done BOTH of those things for a narcissist and he adored it! It is, after all, exactly what he wanted.

3. Let him make the decisions

If you’re going to stay with a narcissist it’s best you forget that you have a mind of your own. In fact, don’t make plans. I guarantee your guy is going to either change your plans or ignore your plans, so don’t even bother. In fact, make it easy on yourself. When he asks what you’d like to do that night say, “I don’t know, what would YOU like to do?” and then act like it’s the best decision ever.

4. Compliment him constantly

Narcissists think they are the best looking men on the planet. If you want to keep him make sure you tell him how stylish he is, how intelligent he is, and what a big…well, YOU know…he has. That’s right, praise him below the belt and he’s yours. If there’s a certain flaw he has and he doesn’t like (real or imaginary), compliment him and tell him that that flaw doesn’t exist, he has the most amazing whatever-it-is-he’s-worried-about.

5. Let him be right all the time

Is he an idiot when it comes to art or music? Tell him he’s right. For example, if you and your narcissist are looking at a book of art and he confuses a Van Gogh with a Picasso, don’t correct him. Tell him he’s absolutely right and you’ve always felt the same way about that artist. The key is that he MUST BE RIGHT AT ALL TIMES…even, and especially, when he’s wrong.

If you want to put him in his place

Young handsome stylish guy listing her pretty blonde girlfriend

Of course, when you get sick and tired of catering to the needs of your emotionally ego driven guy, and you’re ready to dump him because he did something outrageously stupid like sleep with your sister or ruin your birthday party, then here’s how to break things off with a narcissist. These little things will quickly get under his skin.

1. Roll your eyes

Whenever he starts showing off or says something that’s incorrect, roll your eyes at him like he’s an idiot. When he puts on those orange colored jeans like he’s in his early twenties and tries to strut his stuff, roll your eyes at him. Every time his ego gets a little too big and he becomes his gloating, narcissistic self, just roll your eyes and walk away. He hates that.

2. Make the major decisions

Sure, you can let him make little decisions, like what you’re having for dinner that night or what to watch on TV, but make sure that YOU make the BIG decisions. Weekend plans? You choose. Going out on a rare trip to the movie theater? You choose. Anything that’s more important than what cereal to get from the store…you choose. Strip a narcissist of his powers and he’ll run as far away from you as possible.

3. Talk about some hot actor

Narcissists are all about their own attributes, so if you really want to annoy him make sure that you praise some hot young actor when you’re watching a movie. In fact, you can even go as far as checking out the waiter when you’re having dinner. If your narcissist thinks that you think someone else is better looking, he’ll want to go find someone who thinks HE’S the hottest man on the planet.

4. Tell him that the outfit he’s wearing looks awful on him

Narcissists are all about their looks, it’s a pride thing. The one I dated was a Leo, which seemed to give him triple the ego. He would spend hours at a clothing store picking out the right colors for his skin tone and the right “feel” of fabric. I wish I was kidding.

Want to insult your narcissist? Tell him that the outfit looks ridiculous on him. Make sure it’s one of those outfits he spent hours trying to put together (you’ll know the one because he would have shaved and would look freshly showered).

Yeah, tell him that his outfit isn’t really “him”.

5. Tell him he’s average

The final straw for me was when my narcissist suddenly decided I should take him clothes shopping instead of us going to the book fair as had been our plan for two weeks. Not only did I not get to go to the book fair (which was on the other side of the city), but I had to go and spend hours watching him spend money on HIMSELF, knowing I had absolutely no money of my own. I was FURIOUS!

So, when he started going on some rant about how he was different from other men and how his ex had really broken his heart, I looked at him mid-sentence and laughed and told him, “You’re actually quite average”.

Not only did he hardly say a word to me the rest of the day, but that evening I got an email (an EMAIL) telling me that he was more than average, I had no right to say such a thing, and that he didn’t want to be with me anymore because, “as I knew”, he preferred his women “younger and petite”. Nothing says you hurt a narcissist’s ego like having him call you old and fat!

So, if you’re with a narcissist, and whether you’re trying to keep him or keep yourself from killing him, these are the only tips you’ll ever need to try. What are you going to do with your man, keep him or get him to go?

About the author

Trina

Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.

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