Why Is He Ignoring Me: 10 Reasons Why He Has Been Distant Lately

Why is he ignoring me and why has he changed? Does this question sound familiar? Are you puzzled by his distant behavior? Here are ten possible reasons he’s ignoring you.

It can be difficult to tell what makes a person act the way they do. Why there are sudden changes in behavior without a clearly identifiable cause. This is especially hard when it comes from your boyfriend.

Your man is supposed to be your rock, he’s the one person who really “gets” you, who you love and adore even when he’s being kind of a jerk. You’ve had disagreements, you’ve had arguments, and you’ve gotten over them, of course.

Now, however, something’s different. He’s ignoring you, and you can help but ask the question: “Why is he ignoring me?” Well, it happens that way sometimes.

Before you immediately imagine the worst possible scenario, here are some of the most common reasons your guy could be giving you the cold shoulder.

1. He needs to breathe

Young athletic man taking a break during a challenging jogging outdoor

Everyone needs a little breathing room sometimes. Do you and your man spend every waking moment together? Are you constantly texting and chatting on Facebook or Gmail? Does it seem like the two of you are attached at the hip?

If this is you, then he could be ignoring you because he just needs a day to himself, some time to think on his own and to just breathe. Don’t take it personally; in fact, you should probably try to take a breather as well. Remember, you’re a couple not one person split in two.

2. He’s with his family

If your man is with his family, he could be ignoring you because of family drama. I know when I’m with my family I ignore whoever I’m dating until I’m safely away from nosy eyes and ears. Remember that it can be a little difficult to break away from mandatory family time.

This is especially true around the holidays. If it’s Christmas Eve and your guy isn’t texting you back…then he’s probably doing the family thing and that, as you know, can require a person’s undivided attention.

3. He’s upset and doesn’t want to talk about it

I know some men who are open and honest with their emotions. In fact, they’re a little too open and honest with their feelings. I also know some men who are too closed off and it’s extremely difficult to get them to admit that something’s actually bothering them.

If you’re dating the non-emotional kind of guy, then he might be ignoring you so that he doesn’t have to “talk about his feelings”. It’s quite possible that his feelings have absolutely nothing at all to do with you. In fact, he could be angry at the entire world (except you) but still ignoring you so that he doesn’t start an unnecessary argument.

4. He’s jealous

Have you been hanging out with the girls more often lately? Is there some new guy in your life who’s quickly becoming your BFF? If this is you, then your guy might be ignoring you because he’s jealous.

That’s right, when men are jealous there are a number of ways they show it, but ignoring you is one of the more commons displays of jealousy. If this is the case, you might want to do a little more one on one quality time with your man and stop talking about your BFF’s so much, or, invite him to go along with you and your friends once in a while.

5. He’s thinking of ending things

stylish guy relaxing on lawn in park

There are times when he’s ignoring you for reasons you don’t want to know. Sadly, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it could be that your guy is ignoring you because he’s thinking of ending the relationship.

There are times when a man will ignore you because he doesn’t know how to end things, and times when he’ll ignore you because he wants YOU to get sick of him and end things so he doesn’t have to. Before you assume this is the reasons he’s ignoring you, talk to him and find out what’s really going on.

6. He’s just busy

Okay, I know the frustration of being ignored. I’m being ignored right now even as I’m typing this by a guy I haven’t even met yet, but am supposed to have a date with this week. Because there haven’t been any signs of dis-interest on his part, and because we don’t know each other even remotely well enough for me to assume he’s with someone else (which he could be, I don’t know), I’m going to have to think he’s actually just busy.

It happens. It happens to me all the time! I get too busy to hang out with my friends, to update my Facebook, to reply to my editor…life just sort of happens and I can’t respond to things. Now, if I don’t hear from him by Tuesday, I’d say he’s ignoring me for other reasons, but for now, I’m guessing he’s juts busy (it is the weekend after a holiday, you know). Your guy might just be busy, too.

7. You’ve been acting different lately

Before we put all the blame on him, have you been acting any differently lately? Are you taking longer to respond to his calls or texts? Have you been too busy to see him? If you’re acting differently it could be giving him the impression that you feel as if something’s wrong in the relationship, and he could be ignoring you because he’s not sure how he should act at the moment.

Step back and assess your own actions lately and see if that’s not where the problem actually is.

8. His friends are affecting his decisions

If your guy has been hanging out with his friends more often than usual and he’s just started ignoring you, then it’s possible his friends have something to do with this. Maybe they’re trying to convince him that he’s better off single. Maybe they’re trying to convince him that you’re not the right girl for him, or maybe he’s just seeing the glitz and glamour of frat boy life and is having some relationship doubts.

If this is the case, tread carefully.

Guys are very defensive about their friends, so you’re better off approaching this by showing him what’s good about being in a relationship, instead of nagging him about the crowd he hangs out with.

9. He has cold feet

Man looks at his beard and thought about shaving

Sometimes, when guys start to become emotionally attached to their girlfriend, they just sort of freak out for a bit and get cold feet. They try to push you away, they hesitate and question their own feelings, and they basically chicken out. If this is your man, then all you can do is to give him some space and time.

The right guy will ALWAYS choose you over his relationship fears. Just let him realize how amazing you are.

10. He’s lost that loving feeling

Again, I hate to say it, but your guy might be ignoring you because he’s lost that loving feeling. This isn’t the easiest thing in the world to figure out, there are so many other reasons he could be ignoring you (as you can see).

However, if your guy has lost his interest, then you can either try to save the relationship and rekindle those fires of passion, or you can let him go. But don’t assume he’s fallen out of love simply because he’s ignoring you, he could be ignoring you because he just needs time to himself.

Men aren’t always the easiest creatures to figure out, believe me, I know it more than anyone! The first thing I did when my man had a phase with ignoring was talking to him. That is why I honestly suggest you to read The respect principle written by amazing James Bauer that literally transformed my relationship.

I learned what my man really wants and how to make sure that he gets it.  After all, don’t you think your relationship is worth it?

About the author


Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.


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  • When u really like this guy and he ends it with you cause he younger than you and he thinking of other stuff instead of you, what are you supposed to do?
    Even though he might of found someone new or doesn’t like you anymore, you will just have to move on… ( hope that something good happens for it )

  • I was in a relation for 7 years. He broke up with me just for a married friend of hers. Now after 5 years he has turned back. But for him I’m just a special friend but he is speaking it chatting with a married woman again. I am helol fed up suggest me what todo

  • hi like to ask, what if he was ignoring me for more than 3mos..? i tried talking to him but was doubtful if he wanted me bck? now he never communicates at this rejection? should i move on? im feel like losing self respect.

  • This makes me wonder, I’m 18 and the guy I like is 19, we go to the same school and we’ve bumped into each other over the summer a couple of times, he’s even texted me twice, we get back to school and i’ve had rare chances to see him and speak to him and when i did, well he said i’m sorry i didn’t hit you up to hang out, i wanted to and he proceeded to ask me if i was with anyone over the summer, i said honestly 2, 3 guys and he told me about this girl he’d gotten close with, then told me she’d only was a friend to him, Now we get back school, and it went from talking to each other in the hall way to never seeing him anymore and i only saw him today after a while i didn’t realize i was looking at him and the stare he gave me, it was as if he just thought about a lot in that moment, it was the first time we met eye to eye since almost over a month ago. could this mean something or am i just waiting for something thats never going to happen?

  • He’s ignoring you because he’s figured out that women can not bring anything positive into a man’s life. Relationships with women are all cost and no benefit. The best you can do is teach the young girls not to be bitches, and maybe the next generation will have a chance at good relationships. This generation is ruined. Good riddance ladies.

  • I started liking this guy who started showing signs that he liked me. So after I confessed my love for him, we started sneaking out at night to see each other. He is younger than me. Every time I ask him if he shares the same feelings for me he says he doesn’t know or he has a lot to consider before he dates me. After a while of sneaking out to see each other, he just stops and acts different, I get no attention. How do I know if there any hope with him and I if he doesn’t tell me or show me? How do I know if he is shy or scared? How do I know if he likes me? I know I like him and I feel this is right but he is confused…what does this mean? He keeps a necklace of mine and wears and sometimes keeps it with him also. Please help me. A confused girl.

  • I know what you are saying. Every time my boyfriend comes home and say hey but then his on his I-pad or I-phone playing games we don’t really talk a lot and I want to but he just ignores me and sometimes it feels like his cheating on me. But he never cheated before my mind is going crazy since we moved I really don’t know what to do anymore

  • I dont know which reasong to go to… he and I have been going somewhat steady for two months now and he just sorta started ignkring my texts but we’re both in a group chat with our friends and he’s been texting them in there… even flirting a little with some other girl in there…and i kmow im probably just overreacting but i have psychological issues and cant process things like these quite well, hence why i even opted to googling it.. i really need help. What should i do??

  • To all those girls who are older than their man. Communicate. Talk to your man if you think he is acting strange or ignoring you. Do not assume things if you do not know. Else it will be a formula for break up. Men by nature are mostly not talkative. And they love to be pampered too. So naturally they will expect you to initiate a conversation. Most of us think it is un-manly to open up and talk to our women about a problem we can not solve. It hurts our ego. There is no reason for him to find another girl unless you have become complacent and beginning to take things for granted. The fire of love needs to be fed regularly to keep it burning. women are created by God to make our lives worth living. Age is just a number. Look at Prince Harry he is marrying a woman older than him. There are so many other examples. Do not give up on him.

  • This is all too simple. if a guy ignores you, he doesn’t want you anymore, now stop doubting yourself and move on. That particular guy who ignored you is not the only male in the world. Stop getting attached too quickly, or your whole you will be nursing a heartbreak. Don’t nag anyone to give you attention, you will sicken yourself with heartache dearests. If a man wants you, nothing will stop him from coming to get you, if he ain’t coming, he doesn’t want you. Let’s say he has issues, it’s not your problem, let a guy deal with his issues on his own. Trust me if you beg people to stay, they will suck up even the little love you have for yourself and leave you love bankrupt. If a man shows you who/what he is, believe him. Sometimes what you see is what you get, there is nothing hidden. Good Luck ladies.

    • He is just not into you… never sell yourself short and never loose yourself into a relationship that was never for you in the first place. Been there, done that. Long time in coming back but I’m not bitter. I just learned to not ignore the red flags because I want what I want NOW !! Haha if you look back, there was always red flags we just chose to ignore them, benefit of the doubt, trust yourself, we know more then we think.

  • We were very close. She gave me the cold shoulder and avoided me for 4 months without a word of explanation. I reached out to try to reconcile, and she basically justified her behavior based on her impression of something I did and told me we could not be friends. Not sure why I did it, but in response I wrote her a very nice note that explained why I did what I did, I saw things differently than she did and I explained my side of it. I told her that if we couldn’t be friends, then I’d accept civil for now, because that was way better than the deafening silence. I told her that I hoped that with time and exposure to each other, that maybe we could be friends again.

    I never heard back from her. I’ll bet money that if I had never written, she’d have never talked to me again. There must have been some kind of misunderstanding, or maybe a change of heart, I don’t know, because she never said a word about it. All I know is that the next couple times I saw her, she tried to act like her old, friendly self again, like we were best pals. By then, I had some time to think about how she treated me and I decided that her treatment of me was unacceptable and I wasn’t going to reward it.

    Even though it hurt me to do it, I began to ignore her without a word of explanation. I won’t even look at her, and it took three social events, but she’s finally gotten the message. The various expressions on her face when she could not break through my ice told me that it hurt her that I decided to do that. Now we ignore each other.

    I don’t feel good about this, but I don’t feel good about making up either. I haven’t heard one word of apology. All she wanted to do was sweep her behavior under the rug and I couldn’t live with that. Now we’re both miserable.

    Honestly, I don’t think she’s much of a friend. The trouble is that we have mutual friends who are unaware of our schism, and we have to see each other from time to time.

    I blame her for the whole thing. I wish she’s have just complained to my face and we probably could have worked through it.