How to Get a Playboy to Commit

If you want to know how to get a playboy to commit to a serious relationship there are a number of questions you need to ask yourself first, which are less about him, and more about you!

Bad boys, you can’t help but love ’em, can you? They’re hot and sexy, spontaneous and unpredictable, they have that twinkle in their eye and they know exactly how to make you feel like the only girl on the planet.

What girl wouldn’t want to feel like that?

The thing is, they’re like vampires – everything about them is designed to draw you in and intoxicate you while they suck you dry, and when they have satisfied their appetite, they let go and you fall to the ground drained while they go on on the hunt for fresh blood.

You want to know how to get a playboy to commit? It’s like asking how to get a vampire to leave the shadows and spend time with you in the sunshine – never going to happen!

What you need to know about playboys

beautifl couple portrait

What they desire is completely different to what you desire. They have different needs. They satisfy your needs by making you feel special and attractive, but they don’t need the same kind of assurance from you because they know they can have pretty much any girl they want, including you!

Playboys are attracted to the thrill of the chase and risk element of brief encounters, hot flings and secret love affairs. They usually have lots of energy and need to find ways to burn it, which usually means an increased sexual appetite.

If you have the energy to match then you may be able to sustain his interest for longer than most women, especially if you aren’t readily available at the click of a finger – any girl with a confident air of independence about her is sure to attract his attention – but is this honestly who you are and what you want, or is it a front?

Not all playboys will play behind your back though, it’s unfair to generalise. Just because he likes to have his fun it doesn’t mean he is going to cheat on you and sleep with other women. How comfortable are you with the amount of sexy female friends he has in his phone though?

Remember this is a guy who loves to flirt! It might not mean much to him because its just in his nature but the question you have to ask is, can you handle it? Can you trust him? Will it bother you? You are the one with all the choices here, do you choose to stay or find a guy who better suits your emotional or relationship needs?

How do you know if your guy is genuine?

Sometimes it is difficult to tell whether or not a guy is genuine or just stringing you along to get his jollies. Is that little voice inside your head insecurities or instinct?

If you are feeling unsure about your guy’s intentions, the best thing to do if you are the beginning of a relationship or just dating is to keep your distance as much as possible. If he is genuine he will respect you for wanting to take things at a slower pace.

If he is a crooked playboy then he will put the pressure on. Hold out! Don’t sleep with him immediately and try to maintain your own life and friends as much as possible.

Perhaps the worst thing you can do is play games though. Don’t play hard to get or try to be something you’re not. Remember that being your own person and maintaining your independence is not the same as playing hard to get, and neither is holding out before sleeping with him. 

Warning signs

couple initiating a kiss

If you’re not sure whether or not he is a playboy, watch out for these signs…

  • His attention towards you is very sexual and full on.
  • He makes you feel wonderful, always be suspicious of a guy who shares his innermost feelings too soon – guys don’t do this unless they are after something! Remember that guys tend to be a bit more commitment phobic than ladies, so if your guy is coming on strong with the lovey-dovey, then he might not be what he seems. There are always exceptions, but keep an open mind.
  • He displays secretive behaviour, hides his phone or is vague about what he is doing.
  • You find out he has very flirtatious online relationships with female friends, that he doesn’t necessarily want you to read.
  • His interest in you dulls if after a few weeks you haven’t slept with him yet.

Can you get a playboy to commit?

If you are not sure whether or not you are dating a playboy, or if you know your man has a bad reputation but you think you can make him change his bad boy ways, have a little think…

  1. Is he really worth the stress and emotion? Let’s face it, being involved with a known playboy is a risk, and there can never be guarantee that he will be faithful. If you have forgiven him once, will you honestly be able to open up and make yourself vulnerable to him again? When its a question of trust, how far are you willing to be broken, before he realises its time to stop? He may never realise it, or may not want to.
  2. How much do you respect yourself? Putting your trust in a man who has already betrayed your trust is risky business. Sure, everyone deserves a second chance, but was his a one-off mistake or is this just the kind of man he is? how much are you willing to put up with before you realise that if you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect him to respect you?
  3. Its a well-known fact that you can’t control or change other people, they have to want to change themselves. The only thing you have control over is yourself and how you feel. Do you feel messed up, insecure and crazy? that’s your choice, you have put yourself in that situation and you have the choice to take yourself out of it. You don’t have the control however to make him behave in a way that will make you feel better. Is it worth trying to get a playboy to commit, or will you just end up battling with yourself?

About the author

Scarlett Robinson

I am inspired by the ways people interact. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. This is why I explore intimate relationships in my writing. (I’m also ever so slightly kinky.)


Click here to post a comment

  • Precious, really precious advice. Thank you so much.
    Being loved (and loving back, of course) exclusively by a wonderful, clean, admirable person beats any ‘bad’ boy (=insecure boy) ‘loving’ in the whole history of humanity.

  • Honestly, the only way you can really stop a playboy is to not be a pushover. Playboys like women who challenge them, it’s cliche I know but playing hard to get can cause them to fall in love with you, if that’s what they were looking for in love. Either be a challenge, ir be yourself. If he loves you for you, then great. The reason why playboys sleep around is because women easily give into whatever charm they have. Don’t be one of those women who would easily fall into their trap.

  • I am in an affair with a playboy but we are emotionally/mentally/physically very compatible to a point that at the beginning both of us were so astounded something like this could exists..
    The problem is that I was ok at the beginning since he is not the only one for me as well (i have different, serious problems at home). However, I feel that things for me have changed and I don’t know how to stay cool anymore and how to respond to his coldness when I get emotional….I feel like a loser somehow..could really need some advice…