Seduction

How to Tell If a Guy Is Flirting With You: 12 Signs to Look For

How to Tell If a Guy Is Flirting With You: 12 Signs to Look For
Getting mixed signals about the guy in front of you? Scared to ask him out? Don’t worry; here's how to tell if a guy is flirting with you or not.

Flirting can be so… confusing. For example, the other day I met this really good looking guy who seemed to be genuinely interested in everything I had to say and even asked questions to encourage the conversation. I was ecstatic! The only thing was, he wasn’t giving off any body signals to go along with his curiosity.

Later, I found out he was gay, which explained the manners and polite conversation without the physical flirting.

The point here is that it can get pretty confusing trying to tell if a man is trying to flirt or just being nice. After all, have you ever said something nice to a guy just to be nice and suddenly he’s hitting on you because he thinks you’re interested? It’s a pretty awkward situation.

Before you give up and throw in the towel, though, consider these 12 signs of flirting. If the guy in front of you is doing any of these twelve things (particularly in combination), then he’s probably flirting with you. So, with no further ado, here’s how to tell if a guy is flirting with you:

#1 He Looks You in the Eye

Two beautiful young women flirting with two men in the bar


He'll give his heart to the first woman who does this...


Some men naturally have good manners, and looking a person in the eyes when you’re speaking to them is one of those things that constitutes as good manners. But if this is combined with some of the other body movements listed below, you could be being flirted with.

One important thing to look for when a man is looking into your eyes is whether or not he’s smiling or his eyes are twinkling. Yes, you know what I’m talking about. When a man is flirting with you, you can see it in his eyes. It’s almost like he only has eyes for you, and nobody else in the room matters.  

#2 He Finds an Excuse to Talk to You

Any man who’s flirting with you will find an excuse to talk with you. Most often he’ll think of something you chatted about last time you saw him and carry on with the conversation. If this is your first time meeting, he’ll ask about your necklace, your hair color, tell you that you have beautiful eyes…etc.

Or, if he’s just a bit too shy for all the compliments, he’ll simply find some other reason to keep the conversation going.

#3 He Perks Up When He Sees You

A man who is interested in you and is flirting with you will perk up when he sees you. He will hold his head higher, he’ll smile brighter, and he’ll seem ten times more cheerful than he had been the moment before he noticed you walk in the room.

Trust me, if he’s interested in you, he’ll be happy to see you!

#4 He Stays Close to You

Men are territorial. Seriously, it’s an alpha thing. Have you ever seen how possessive a man can get towards you when another guy looks at you? Have you ever wondered why guys move in closer when they’re competing for your attention?

I’m going to tell you a story. As a barista, I’ve seen many different types of men, and I can always tell the ones who are interested in me versus the ones who aren’t. I used to have these two guys come in; they were friends and had known each other a while. Now mind you, neither of them were interested in me…no, neither of them! However, they were at that eighteen to twenty year old stage, which in a male’s life means they’re full of testosterone and have no flipping idea what to do with it.

The scene would go something like this. One of them would come in first, buy a drink and make a little small talk (kind of like I’m a bartender). The other would come in a little later to meet him and buy a drink and make some small talk, too.

Here’s where it gets fun!

So, the second guy would tell me about something new in his life (a new camera or a new skateboard or something he put on youtube…something) and I would appropriately “Oooh!” and “Ahhh!” over it.

The first guy would here the conversation and come back up to the counter beside him and point out something new HE had, too! I would also do the appropriate “Oooh!” and “Ahhh!” Not to be one-upped, the second guy would turn to me, step in closer, and tell me about yet another new thing he had. In which case the first guy would step in closer and relay something of HIS that was new.

This alpha battle continued as long as I kept giving their egos the fuel by being interested in whatever they were telling me about. When I claimed I had to get back to work, they’d scoot off to their table and talk about an entirely different subject.

The point is, as each of them were trying to maintain my attention, they moved in close to me (like “marking their territory”).

When a man is flirting with you, you’ll notice that he moves in close to you. You’ll see that double if a good looking guy walks by or also comes up to talk to you. It’s a territory thing.

#5 He Touches You

A young couple touching hands at a table

Its human nature that we want to touch something pretty we like. I myself enjoy the feel of suede, stone walls, and a hairy chest. Of course, if I’m flirting with a guy I don’t go up and start rubbing on his chest hair (that’s just creepy), but I will lightly touch his arm as I laugh, or squeeze his bicep gently as I say goodbye.

Men do this, too. They might not squeeze your bicep, but they will touch your shoulder if they’re standing beside you. If a man is flirting with you, he’ll find a subtle way to make contact with you. Your reaction will tell him if it’s okay to keep flirting.

#6 He Stumbles Over Himself for You

Sometimes, men aren’t so clever and graceful when they flirt. It’s like Superman versus Clark Kent. Not all men are a suave and seductive as Superman, which is really okay. I myself have always preferred Clark.

When a Clark Kent tries to flirt with you, he will stumble over his words, spill his drink, say something ridiculous, blush, and be scared of you the next time he sees you. It’s the most adorable thing on the planet!

So if your guy isn’t exactly Mr. Good With Words, but is instead making a complete klutz out of himself whenever he sees you, then you’re definitely being flirted with.

#7 He Lets His Friends Go On without Him

One of the most important signs a guy is flirting with you is that he lets his friends go on without him. Bro Code specifies (in terms not appropriate for feminine delicacies) that the guys always come first. This means, if you and he are talking, and his friends come up, you can expect him to end your conversation to go hang out with them.

Unless he’s flirting, of course.

If your guy continues to chat with you and tells his friends, “I’ll catch up with you later” (or some equivalent thereof), then you’re definitely being flirted with.

#8 He Asks About You

One thing I learned from my last booty call was that he was ever so charming when he hadn’t had sex in a while. He would text me to ask if I was okay, he’d ask me how my day was, how work was…etc. All the things a good guy SHOULD ask.

The same theory applies to men who are flirting with you. If a guy is genuinely interested in you (either mentally or physically), he will be interested in listening to you. Usually because he knows he has your attention if you’re talking about you. It’s true, ladies, don’t deny it. I love to tell a guy how my day was; it makes me so happy he was thoughtful enough to ask (even for a booty call).

A guy who is flirting with you doesn’t just politely ask, “How was your day?”, he asks you to elaborate on the answer. He’ll pry details out of you so he can show you he’s interested. It’s a good trick, and it works.

#9 He Chats

Young couple talking and drinking coffee

Of course, it’s not enough to just ask about your day; a guy who’s interested will also continue the conversation. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, he knows if he keeps the conversation going that he has a little bit of extra time with you, and second, the more you talk the more information he gets. That means he has something to ask you about the next time he sees you.

Men who are flirting become chatty with you, they listen to your words, they ask you questions, sometimes they even give you some information about themselves, too! Usually it’s something that makes him sound like a good catch.

#10 He Leans in Close When He Speaks

Remember what I said about the two guys who were always competing for my attention, how they would inch in closer to me as they had their testosterone battle? Well, even without the battle, if a guy’s flirting with you he will lean in towards you as he talks.

You see, it all goes back to the alpha male marking his territory. He subconsciously wants to get in close to you so that you know he’s there. In other words, he wants to make sure you notice him just as much as he wants to be as close to you as possible so no other guy can move in.

#11 He Finds a Way to See You Again

Never forget that when a guy is flirting with you he will find another way to see you again. If he’s flirting with you at work, he’ll stop at your job every chance he gets so he can see you. If it’s at the gym, he’ll ask you casually what your usual workout days are so he can occasionally see you “by chance”.

Wherever it is, or however clever he has to be about it, if a man is interested in you he’ll find a way to see you again and he’ll continue to flirt with you as he does.

#12 He Texts Right Away

You know that “three day” rule about calling or texting? Well, occasionally men will follow that rule because they think it’s one of those rule’s you should never break. However, I’ve known plenty of guys to break that rule for someone they’re really interested in.

One of the most guaranteed signs a guy is flirting with you is that he will text you practically immediately if you give him your number. He won’t make it through the night without texting to say hi to you. Also, he wants to make sure that you have his number just in case you want to text and flirt with him, too! Of course, you aren’t going to (you want to play a little hard to get), but it’s always flattering when they text you right away, isn’t it? He’s definitely interested if he texts you right away.

So there you have, twelve guaranteed signs a guy is flirting with you. While I know there are other signs, these are the ones you can certainly be sure about. Usually, these little flirts come in combinations of two or three….eye contact and moving in close to you are the biggest indicators. Combinations are also always the best way to know if you should flirt back. So tell us, is there a special guy giving you any of these signs?

About the author

Trina

Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.

39 Comments

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  • Well I am a gay teen. I have a guy in my class who i am pretty sure is trying to tell and show me that he likes me yet wants nobody to know. He does some of this stuff day to day and I think that this really helped. I am also closeted so it is hard to tell for sure.

    • Hi Moon Son 14! First, I want to say that I am honored to hear that my advise has helped you. As a writer I strive to give real advise you can use and learn from, but I also genuinely care about my readers and want to make sure they’re living the life of love they deserve. I also want to say that I understand how hard it can be to be closeted at your age. I know many young kids who are afraid to tell their family and friends that they’re gay, so thank you so much for sharing that with me! I genuinely felt honored to read your comment. Now, my advise to you, darling, is a little different. Your situation is much more secretive so this should be handled in a way that allows you to be friends first with this other guy. If you have class together, tell him you’re a little confused about the assignment and ask if he wouldn’t mind studying together in the library after school. Keep your meetings public, but also in a place where you can talk privately. Let him make the first move or open the conversation to more than platonic interests. I usually encourage people to make the first move, but in this case, because you’re not at the right time to tell the world you’re gay (and that’s okay, honey, you will when you’re ready), this needs to be handled in way that keeps your secret safe if this guy is not gay. A library study session, a group hangout with mutual friends, things like that which are socially acceptable to ask of people is where you need to start. Let the other guy make the first move, but you can start the friendship so he has a chance to make the move. Does that make sense? Take this slowly and protect yourself. There are many secrets I’ve had to hide in my life, and they’re never easy…especially when they’re not the most socially accepted secrets. I know. But you’ll know when the time is right to tell the world who you are. It’s okay. Until then, I’m here to give you advise anytime. :) I hope he likes you, too!!! Please keep us updated!!

  • Hi I’m 20 years old I just ran across this and by reading it I kinda think this guy i see who works down the street from me is interested each time he see me he pauses he perks up n smiles at me but ima shy person and he asked for my number the last time he saw me but i didn’t give it to him i find him attractive but what kind of advice would you give a shy person on how to talk back to a guy?

    • Try a coffee shop or a bookstore. :) they’re both casual and public! Or, go ahead and give him your number and begin by texting. Sometimes it’s easier to get to build up the courage for a date when you’ve been texting for a few days and getting to know each other slowly.

    • Ok there’s a guy that I like but I’m so shy to go talk to him. he does not know that I like him but everytime that he see me he smile at me but idk if he just smile cause I look at him too muchor if he likes me.

    • I’m 13 and this guy in my class, he LOVES me… He asked me out, but I’m not allowed to date… So sad… REALLY shy to tell him I like him, I need some advice to help..and PS wut sucks is that my mom works at my school so if she finds out she will make fun of me..I have a plan but not sure if it will work out

  • Hi I work at a company were dating colleges is not allowed I am in love with this guy at work and he is clearly flirting with my in front of everyone I do not know how to react to it an if he is just doing it because he is joking or to prove a point .I love my job and do not want to lose it but can’t let someone I love go by please give me some advice

  • I read this and realized that a boy I have been really good friends with was flirting with me, according to the 12 things. Thank you! I most definitely will look at him in an entirely different way now.

  • Hi
    So I’m 16
    And there’s this guy I have liked for about 5months
    Idk what to do
    He knows I like him and I’m still not sure what to do
    And I still don’t know if he’s flirting with me or not
    Thanks if u can help

  • So im in this media club at school and there’s this particular, very kind senior who helps me with everything since i’m new. We’re both in the music group of the club and it has been 2 weeks since ive known him. And this week we’re planning to write a song together for the next session. what does this mean? As this music group member, is this normal?

  • The is this guy he asked me out and I turned him down and i regreted him then he started asking my frndz out but he always perks up wen he sees me, he always talks to me for no reason and always touches me, does he luv me

  • I’ve just finished reading this thinks its great, it has given me some insight into how guys flirt…that being said I’m still a little confused, there is a guy that comes into where I work for his coffee and he seems quite reserved the way he hugs his drink and only when I make conversation does he seems to light up with smiles and general chattiness, he asks me how I am and we make conversation and he even mentioned that my new hair color suits me…not sure if he’s just being polite or is actually flirting!? And if he is I would appreciate any advice on how to flirt back?! :)

  • after going to a concert and hanging out with friends, this one particular guy texted me at 2am asking me if i wanted to go to church with him in the morning– he’s christian but I’m not and he knows I’m curious and exploring christianity rn. the fact that he was thinking about me at 2am means something right??? help so confused

  • OK so guys don’t like me. But there is this one guy named Chase that I thank likes me but I only got to c him while waiting on the bus and on the bus because he’s a junior and I’m a freshman

  • I also have this boy in my class who always looks at me,gets close to me,tries to hold me hand.

  • Hi I’m Heather and I’m 16 and I know this guy and we have been friends from middle school to high school and I had no idea that he had a liked me since 6th grade and then I saw the signs of the way he was acting & talking and he asked me out on kik and I walked over to him and I told him that the answer is yes and I feel really happy to be with him

  • Hi what would I do if the guy smiles and eye contact all the way until he can’t see me ,but he doesn’t see me everyday?

  • I am getting so many mixed signals from the guy I like. We are super flirty with eachother and we text all the time, but some of the time I feel like I am always initiating the conversations and he doesn’t really care. I feel like maybe I’ve just been friend zoned, but I’m not sure. Any advice? Thanks!

  • I’m a teenage girl struggling with find a boy. It’s not just their cuteness i really like their personalities and how they react to certain things but I just cant ever seem to find the right time to tell him I am in love with him or like him and if he rejects me i don’t wanna be embarrassed to talk to him anymore cause right now were best friends and i don’t really want to say it strait to his face “I like you” Please help me.

  • hi my name is kelsha and i broke up with my boyfriend because i thought i loved someone else but no it was not true and i still love my ex and we even kissed after breaking up and he still treats me like am his girlfriend but lately why do i feel like he doesnt love me and am crazy about him but he tells me that he still does love me and he hates the fact that i dont trust him but am scared cause i love him and i dont want to lose him to anyone so what do i do? And he teases me in a playful mean way i mean thats the way i see it maybe he is just joking i dont know. Please tell me what do i do?.

    • I am really good friends with this guy O for about a year and a half now and I have always just seen him as a friend. We have recently started talking a lot and he introduced me to his one friend guy T and me and guy T started talking a lot too. All three of us have a class together and at first it was fine but then I soon came to realize I liked both guy O and guy T. Both of these guys are popular and I am somewhat popular but I like guy O is more likely to talk to me in the hallway than guy T. But anyway in gym we had to dance and we had to pick partners and one day in science class guy T said hey we are going to dance together and I thought he was joking so I said yeah well we may have to if it come down to it and I think he took it the wring way because 2 days later he has a dance partner. So I got a new dance partner guy J but then he was on the fence if we were really going to dance together so I told guy O about it and he said not to dance with guy J and to dance with him instead. This made really happy and I told guy T about it and he seemed a little jealous but I really do not know. It is now 3 weeks later and me and guy O text almost everyday and guy T and I barely even text at all. When we do he lies to me I asked what he was doing and he said he was driving to England and I said you can not drive to England and that is when he did not answer. But I do not know I used to think of guy O as just a friend because I thought I liked guy T more but he seems to be like a real jerk and guy O is always there for me. But I think I like them both what do I do so I can focus on just one of them. HELP ME!!!

  • I like two guys and I do not know which one I like more. Me and guy O text more often and we talk a lot and about anything. But me and guy T talk a lot too but never really text and when we do I think he lying to me. One time he said he was driving to England over winter break and I said you can not drive to England and this is when he said yes you can so I stopped replying. Also I think Guy O is less embarrassed to talk to me in the hallway because when I see T he glances at me but never says anything. But when I see O he smiles says hey and yeah. But overall both of these guys are really popular, sweet, smart, generous, and I think into to me. What should I do? Help!

  • I am in love with my best friend. And his name is Ryder, and I think he likes me because he asked me if I could go outside with him and he said it in a romantic way. So does that mean he likes me?

  • So, I have a friend that I’ve been crushing on for 2 years. In my country, every student took the same subject till we are sixteen so basically, we are in the same class ever since we are in the second year of lower secondary school and we are still in the same class. So before I know it, I’ve heard from his friends that he wants to date me but as he is the teaser type so I didn’t take it seriously. Two months after those incident, I’ve been making up with another guy. But we didn’t last long and I heard that the guy I was crushing on was having a broken heart haha I thought that was so cute yet I still feel bad. And after my breakup, my crush gets into a relationship with another girl. Let’s say that my crush name is miki and his gf name is shyta. So until today, we could say that their relationship has last for one year and still going. But what’s confusing me is, he is giving me loads of mixed signals. He’s been following me on all of my social media all of a sudden, he became all the way friendly, he groomed up a lot better ( as he is actually really handsome even if he didn’t try hard ), he talked to me a lot, he stared at me when I’m not looking and I know it because I caught him staring at me LIKE A MILLION TIMES A DAY and when he talked at me, idk what is the fucking feelings but it feels like he’s been looking straight into my eyes so deep that I stumbled ah well idk if those were only bcs I love him but damn those looks are killing me inside. Sometimes he also tease me things like ” maybe one day we could date together if you don’t mind ” but the problem is he has a fucking girlfriend. I heard from his friends that he was having a hard time with his gf recently and he didn’t actually loves her. He remember my favorite song, my blood relatives story and he even remember the smallest things about me that I don’t even care enough to remember. He also has been singing a lot of songs that relates to our condition lately so idk what to do. Btw I’m sorry for my bad grammar as I’m not good in English so please help me :(

  • There’s this guy who’d hit me playfully and I’d poke him. He’d let me kick and hit him most of the time, with the occasional times he’d hit me back, but a lot gentler. He teases me like “Oh no, don’t hit me! I don’t want to end up in the hospital!”and he’d act scared, even though, he’s the football player. He’d also playfully tell me to fight him, but he never actually hit me when I do. At other times, he’d lean back on me and i’d have to push him off (jokingly), try to untie my shoelaces, tell me to punch him as hard as I could and flex his muscles, swat at my leg gently, make weird faces at me while looking at me and then smile/smirking, which in turn, makes me smile. Then, we’d laugh it off.

  • so there is this guy and i was in a leotard and he was staring at me and then he offered to buy me lunch 1 year later. he always stares at me and always knows where i am. is that normal? he just is not attractive and i dont want to fet in a relationship with him becuae i dont like him i like someone else and he kinda follows me around and kinda stalks me. I NEED HELP!!! I have never bee in a relation ship and i dont want to be for a while. I am only 12!!!!! I REALLY NEED HELP!!!! Does anybody have any advice to tell him im not interested in him but not totally blow him up? i have to see him at school alot though so i dont want to make it akward! I am totally confused ! i turned him down when he offered to buy me lunch. i am confused and need help despretly!!!!
    thank you so much
    Anynomus;)

  • 10 of the most accurate tips I have read– and I’ve read a lot. Thanks YouQueen!
    There is this guy at a store I frequent.
    We usually talk about our work out routines and he knows that I have been trying to get in shape, and how I love to work out and he does too.
    He has always came up to me, and at first he’d ask if I needed help with a product etc… then eventually he started sharing things about his other job, family and college plans. I did the same and had great convos. However, I was with someone when he met and he knew it.

    Recently while he was working and me on a shopping trip saw me said hi, then a few minutes later (from a few feet away) complimented me and how I was looking good and if I had lost some weight?
    I was the only one in the area so I said. oh Thank you– yes I have can you tell?
    I was too nervous to hear what he said. LOL. I think he said of course or whatever.
    I find him incredibly attractive but I can’t tell if he likes me.
    After this compliment does he like me? Or is he just being nice?

  • I smirked at the last point. This one I guy I met at my best friends wedding (I was one of her bridesmaids) and the best man (the grooms cousin) happened to start small talk. First offered me a seat then we just feel into natural conversation. By the end of the night I put his number in my phone and with enough time for him to drive home, I got texts talking about how glad he was to meet me and at 10 he said he was going to bed, but stayed up till 12:30 with me texting me till I got home and found something to eat. And we’ve texted every day since

  • Okey I like my best friend Sebastian and like really he li!e always looks at me and is always by my side and I noticed that when I sometimes talk to my friend Kimberly he trys to cut off our conversion with something else. Doesnthat mean he likes me??

  • so I was at work the other day and this really cute guy went into my line at the service desk it looked as if he was hoping he would be my next customer but the customer that I had was taking longer than expected so he didn’t get his chance. But later on after he did his shopping he came right up to me and ask a silly question that consisted of “do you sell envelopes with stamps already on them” I immediately started laughing and told him no but we sell books of stamps and he smiled and replied “nah it’s okay ” but then proceeded to ask me if I knew if we sold them in another part of the store and again I laughed a little harder and kinda blushed and so did he i noticed cause he kinda turned his head smiling lol does this mean he was trying to flirt with me?

  • so I was hanging out with my friends, and we played capture the flag and my crush always got me. Then we all went upstairs to my house, and he lay down across the whole couch, so sat on top of him. Later when he and I got up to get water, I was the first to the couch so he sat on top of me. Also my friends stole my phone, and was holding me to stop me from getting it, and even after I got it back he still had his arms around me and I was sitting in his lap. He also tickled me, so to stop him from tickling me and our other friends I held his hands but then we both kinda relaxed and were just holding hands. However, several of my guy-friends have asked him if he was flirting and he vehemently denies it….he also doesn’t text me a lot….what should I do????

  • Men are wasting their time on me. I am so not interested in any of them. Like today for example, this guy was way younger than me, probably 20 (I am 29) but that didn´t stop him from flirting with me. I tried to be kind and not look at him to long, he was looking at me constantly, finding a way to talk, a huge smile on his face. I am really sorry, but I was not interested even though he was a cute guy. I don´t know, some people may think I am crazy, whatever.

  • Hey so i need some help. Basically i really really really love this guy because he’s super cite and hotoand omg i cannot stop thinking about him. Now im not too sure if he’s flirting with ne or not though, like im telling myself he is but im not sure if that’s just because i want it to be true so i can feel like he likes me or just because it is true. Like he makes me smile and laugh every single day, and he just makes my day. I don’ t think i would even be this happy without him to be honest. So we always walk to the library in school, and then i walk to the bus stops once we reach the library. He hasn’t exactly tried to touch me too much because he knows i dint necessarily like being touched, but he has crossed the border a few times and omg i was bursting with excitment each time! He always talks to me during class, even if im on the complete opposite side of the classroom to him and he has this thing where he scares me every class period just to scare me. Im not sure if it’s just the reaction or what but i really like hin and i want to try and find out if he likes me? What shall i do?