Breakups can really knock you off your feet. There you are, crazy in love and on top of the world. As soon as you fell for this guy, you couldn’t imagine your world without him, and now he’s gone.
You’re feeling pretty lost and like you don’t know what to do or where to turn. These are all normal feelings, but it doesn’t have to be this way. You can definitely get your life back and start feeling like yourself once again.
Here’s what to do after a breakup. Read on and you’re going to feel better ASAP.
1) Be yourself again
No matter how comfortable you were in your relationship and no matter how confident and secure you are as a person, it’s super easy to get lost in the whole “we” thing.
You’re still you, of course (it’s kind of hard not to be) but there are certain realities of being in a serious relationship that make it hard to truly be yourself.
You give up your binge-watching weekends and brunches with your BFFs to hang out with your lovely boyfriend. You see his friends, his family, and become a part of his world.
Those things are amazing and they can really make a relationship work, but at the end of the day, you did lose a little bit of who you are.
It’s not too late. You can still reclaim yourself. Use this breakup as an excuse to be yourself again. Take up the interests and hobbies that you used to love and thought you didn’t have time for anymore. Guess what?
You have time for them now, and they’re going to help you heal. Whether you’re into yoga or writing or want to rejoin your book club, this is exactly what you need to do right now.
2) Lean on your BFFs
Your best friends want to help you through this super tough time. The Best Friend Manual basically requires that you are there for each other through the worst of times, and breakups definitely count.
Invite your BFFs over on a regular basis to make dinner (or just order pizza – no shame), eat lots of ice cream, drink wine, and talk. You can watch rom coms, listen to pop music, dance around, or just enjoy each other’s company in total silence.
The truth of the matter is that you will not survive a breakup without becoming even closer to your best friends. It just can’t be done. There’s no reason to pretend to be super strong or like you don’t need them.
That’s only going to make you feel even lonelier than you already do and it’s not going to help.
3) Stay single for a while
You may think that a good old rebound is the way to truly get over your ex-boyfriend, but it’s, unfortunately, the worst idea ever. If you don’t know what to do now that you’ve been dumped (or you did the dumping, which is sometimes even more painful), remember that staying single is the best bet right now.
If you think that the idea of being alone is awful, then sorry to say but this is exactly why you need this right now. You need to get used to being by yourself… and you need to love it.
The coolest single girls are the ones who are fine without a boyfriend and don’t need to rely on a guy for anything. Don’t you want to be like that? Just think how awesome it will be to be totally confident and independent. You can get there, too.
Plus there’s the fact that you’re only going to compare the next guy that you date to your ex… and that won’t be fair for either you or him. You need to have the time and space to get over this guy so when you’re ready, you will open to whatever the universe brings you.
4) Make the most of it
The thing is that you won’t be single forever. Sure, you might hate it right now because you want to be with your ex. You weren’t planning on being single again.
You probably thought you were going to stay with him forever and maybe you even wanted to marry him. Your single status is a bit of a rude awakening.
It’s a good idea to make the most of being single. This can be as cheesy or serious as you want it to be. Hey, it’s your time.
Embrace the fact that you’re on your own and do what you want (within reason, of course). Watch whatever girly shows you want. Hang out with your friends on a super regular basis. Get closer to your family. Throw yourself into your work.
These are all the things that you should be doing now, and when you do start dating again, you will be glad that you had this time to yourself. Really.
5) Unfriend and delete
This is probably the most important thing of all: you have to unfriend your ex on Facebook, unfollow him on Instagram and Twitter, and delete his number from your phone.
Yeah, you don’t want to do this. You might still be holding out hope that the two of you might get back together in the near or far future. And you might think that you can stay friends. But here’s the truth: none of that is going to happen. No way.
You owe it to yourself to give yourself the best chance of getting over this guy. And that means never talking to him again. Nope, not even to ask how he’s doing or ask after his family. Nope, not even to talk about the TV show that you both love. None of that.
You might hate this idea now, but give it time. You will be glad that you cut off all ties.
6) Think about why it happened
What else should you do after a breakup? You should think about why your relationship ended. It might not be the most fun thing to think about, and that’s exactly why you did to go down this road.
If you don’t deconstruct the breakup and everything that led up to it, you might still think that you and your ex, are totally meant to be together. And you’re clearly not… since you broke up.
The cool part about ending relationships and starting new ones is that you can learn from your mistakes, see what you did wrong, and do better next time. At least, that’s the theory.
As you know, it doesn’t always work out that way. But it totally can. Figure out what went wrong with this guy and you will definitely realize that things ended for a good reason.
7) Carry the good times with you
It’s not always the best idea to go down memory lane when it comes to an ex-boyfriend… especially one that you’re trying with all your might to get over. And yet it can be a pretty interesting and hopeful experience.
After a breakup, it’s a good idea to carry the good times with you. This means thinking about why you liked this guy in the first place, why you two clicked so well and got along, and what really made your relationship work (at least for a little while).
It’s okay to remember positive things about your ex – you don’t have to totally forget his existence and act like you never even dated him. That’s just not realistic.
8) Skip the bitter part
Another super important thing to do after a breakup? That would be making sure that you don’t become bitter. Unfortunately, when you’re single and heartbroken, it’s super easy to go down that road.
You start thinking that not only was this guy a jerk, but all guys are, and there’s no point ever trying to find love again.
Stop right there. Being bitter is not attractive and it’s never, ever going to be. Keep smiling, keep your head on your shoulders, and be proud of who you are.
You didn’t do anything wrong. You dated someone, you fell in love, you tried to make it work, and in the end, it didn’t. Guess what? You’re totally normal.
Breakups may not be fun and they are never something that you want to have to experience, but sometimes there’s a silver lining and they can work out for the best.
As long as you can remember who you are, keep your head on your shoulders, and hope that things work out better next time, you’re doing everything that you need to do. Your next boyfriend just might be your best one yet.
Do you have any tips or tricks what to do after a breakup? Do you agree or disagree with our list? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!
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