5 Tips for Keeping Intimacy Alive in Your Long Distance Relationship

Being in a relationship is hard enough when you’re together, but distance makes the situation even harder. Here's how to make your long-distance relationship work.

There’s an old saying that says distance makes the heart grow fonder, and in the case of the lovers who are far apart this couldn’t be truer.

Some people say to let your love go, to move on. I don’t agree. I’m here to tell you the ways of ensuring your love lasts no matter how far apart you are.

If not now, then at some point in your life you are practically guaranteed to be in a long-distance relationship. Maybe you and your partner head off to different colleges, or maybe your lover is military and gets stationed somewhere else for a while.

Whatever the case may be, long distance relationships are not as uncommon as you might think and there are definitely ways to ease the heartache while you and your man are far apart.

#1: Texts

It might seem like a small thing, but I can tell you that texting daily is one of the best ways to maintain the closeness in your relationship.

When my ex and I were in two different countries, we would send each other daily texts, randomly, to say what’s going on. Something as simple as “You wouldn’t believe how crowded the mall is today!” makes your partner feel as if he’s there with you.

Texting is such a big part of everyday life for people who see each other all the time that the association is still there when you are far apart.

Texting makes you feel like you’re still in the loop and makes you feel like everything is normal.

#2: Keeping your lover involved

It’s very important to make sure you keep your lover involved in your daily life. If you have a decision to make, get your partner’s opinion.

Most couples decide things together and that is generally what keeps their relationship strong. You don’t have to ask their advice on every little matter, but you should definitely ask their opinion when a big decision needs to be made.

Also, if you have a small decision, such as trying to figure out which movie to go see, texting your long distance love will make them feel like they’re there with you.

This is very much a mental association, but truthfully all of the best relationships are built on communication and emotion, so the mental part is the important part.

#3: Phone sex

Female mouth on phone

Sex is important in a relationship. Sure, I could tell you that ‘Just being in love and knowing they care is good enough’, but really, ladies, don’t you miss the way his body feels next to you when you’re sleeping?

Don’t you miss the way he kisses you and turns you on? Of course, you do, and you know he misses that too.

While we have plenty of toys to help us fight those hormonal urges, the truth is, if we don’t have a partner it gets pretty lonely. One of the best ways to keep the sexual attraction flowing while you’re apart is to have phone sex.

If you’ve never had phone sex then you’re in for a treat because it is, by far, one of the best sexual experiences you can ever have.

There is something very sensual and erotic about listening to your lover talk dirty to you and orgasm for you from miles away, and if you come together then it’s almost as good as the real thing (mentally better, if you want to know the truth).

It’s sexually stimulating, it will keep the two of you physically satisfied, and I’ll be honest, it’s one heck of an ego boost to be able to make your lover come simply by using your voice.

#4: Skype

Skype is the most ingenious invention for lovers who are far apart. Years ago people had to write letters and wait for days or weeks to get a reply (I’ve been there, too).

Now, those of you who far apart have the luxury of seeing each other on screen as if you’re in the same room.

Skype lets you and your partner be together without actually being together. You can chat face to face, you can show your guy the new dress you bought, you can do anything over Skype that you would do in person. That includes sex.

I, personally, find phone sex much more satisfying because you have to put in more emotions and more imagination, but Skype sex is fun, too!

One of the best parts about Skype sex is you get to see you, lover, the visual stimulation is there as well as the audial stimulation. Also, you can get your freak on with Skype.

Ladies, you know that hot little nightie you bought for him to see? Don’t let that be forgotten in the dark depths of your closet, put it on and show it off!

#5: Have (far apart) dates

When my ex and I lived apart for a year, it was hard to just sit on Skype and chat for an hour. One of the things we did to keep things going was scheduled a date every other week.

On this date, we would agree to rent the same movie and watch it at the same time and occasionally text each other to give an opinion of the film. It’s a good way of going to the movies together when you aren’t able to be together.

We had movie dates and dinner dates this way (ordering the same food and having dinner together while we texted or talked on the phone) and we even had a drink at the bar together this way sometimes.

Long distance relationships are not easy, I won’t lie and say they are. Trust is the glue that will keep you together and imagination is the fuel to keep your fires burning.

A little ingenuity will make the time fly until you’re able to be together again.

About the author


Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.

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