First Date Questions NOT to Ask a Guy

First dates are daunting enough without increasing the awkward factor by asking the wrong questions! Avoid these topics on your first date at all costs!

#1 Do you believe in God?

It’s just not a good idea to bring up the topic of religion on a first date, unless your own religious believes are likely to affect who you choose to go out with and you need to know upfront, in which case you probably should have asked before agreeing to go on a date in the first place!

Asking a guy if he believes in God on first date can go wrong in so many different ways. Firstly he may feel judged if you have different religious beliefs, or worse threatened or confrontational wanting to defend what he feels. Alternatively he may link your question to assumptions of the kind of person you are even if it happened to be a random question where you were just trying to find out a little bit more about him. He may assume that you are superstitious which might put him off you before he has even gotten to know you.

Talking about religion with someone you don’t know well can lead to conflict, which can bring out the worst aspects of your personality rather than the best. You be focusing instead on finding out where you have common ground in much lighter topics, like personal interests and favourite foods.

#2 What was your ex-girlfriend like?

Young fashion elegant stylish couple posing on streets

You don’t want him to be thinking about his previous love, you want him to be focusing on getting to know you! So no matter how curious you are, avoid talking about previous relationships. And this means your previous relationships too! His ex girlfriend is irrelevant anyway.

What has she got to do with your first date? Just so you are clear, a first date is about discovering more about a guy you kinda fancy. It is not about weighing up his pros and cons though and turning the date into an interview or interrogation.

Avoid trying to uncover his faults, and instead enjoy discovering what kind of connection and fun you are having with this person in the here and now.

#3 How many kids do you want?

Never assume that a guy wants to get married and have kids, and no matter how important building a family is to you, always put off talking about kids and marriage until you have both decided that you want to have a relationship.

It is only when you come to the stage of making some form of commitment that you need to think about being on the same page. Hopefully by that point you will already have a pretty clear idea about your compatibility.

If you mention anything about what you want in your future during your first date though, you are guaranteed to scare him off. I’m just warning you. Don’t even go there. Unless of course he brings the topic up himself, in which case you can vibe off him. My opinion is that talking about the future on a first date is a bit premature though. You wouldn’t want to jinx anything now, would you?

#4 What’s your favourite sex position?

Young happy couple having romantic date at restaurant

Admittedly, talking about sex on a first date could be an ice-breaker and create an immediate intimate kind of bond, but bear in mind that it might also put your new man into one-track-thinking mode. If he sees that you are showing an active interest in sexual topics of conversation on a first date, he is probably going to take it as a green light to getting you into bed. All that sexy talk is bound to get you hot and flustered too!

Remember that if you do sleep with him on your first date, there is no going back. You may not get a second date because all the mystery and romance has gone out of the window and now it is either just about sex for him, or he has had his fun and is ready to move onto the next.

Talking about sex on a first date does not make you sexier. In fact it removes the one thing that all guys lust over, and that is the thrill of the chase. Avoid talking about your sexual preferences until you have actually had sex!

#5 So what’s your annual salary?

It’s one thing to ask a guy what he does for a living as a conversation opener, but when you ask him directly about his income the first thing he is going to think is – it’s none of your business, which it isn’t! The second thing he is going to think is that you are only interested in him for his money, and being materialistic is not attractive when you are a complete stranger. The third thing he is going to think, especially if he doesn’t make much money, is that he’s not good enough; which will compromise his masculinity and confidence for the rest of the date.

Why would you want to ask him about his income anyway? Does it concern you how much money a partner makes? Does that define what you are looking for in a man and a relationship? Are you trying to figure out what kind of future you might have with this man if it were to go anywhere?

Slow down! It is just a first date. Everything you need to know about a guy on a first date can be uncovered without asking inappropriate questions. First and foremost you should be assessing your compatibility in terms of personality and interests – can you have a good time together? Does he make you laugh? Does the conversation flow and do you feel good? Bringing money into the equation only serves to leave a bitter taste in everyone’s mouth.

Share your first date disaster stories

Have you ever put your foot in it by asking a guy something awkward on a first date? Or has a guy ever put you on the spot? Share your stories with us in the comments section below.

About the author

Scarlett Robinson

I am inspired by the ways people interact. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. This is why I explore intimate relationships in my writing. (I’m also ever so slightly kinky.)

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