There are times when a relationship can’t help but come to its natural end, but there are times when we can actually do something about it. Often there are tell-tale signs a relationship is on the rocks or that your man is giving up on you.
Perhaps you haven’t made love in weeks or even months, maybe he just “doesn’t care” anymore if you’re out all the time and he’s home by himself. Or, maybe that loving feeling is just no longer there.
It’s easy to give up, but it isn’t always right to give up.
Before you let your relationship end, listen to the warning signs and take these tips on what to do if he’s giving up on you.
1. Determine the underlying problem
The first thing you need to do when you think your guy is giving up on your relationship is to find the real root of the problem. Maybe there are a few things wrong with your relationship, but you can’t fix something if you don’t know what’s broken.
Sit down and talk to your lover, find out how he’s feeling about things, and most importantly, why he feels that way. Really LISTEN to what he has to say and determine what needs to be changed to make things work.
2. Take responsibility
If you have played a role in the situation, take responsibility for your actions and apologize if necessary.
Try to have an honest and open conversation with the person to understand their reasons for giving up on you. Listen to their concerns and express your own thoughts and feelings.
3. Make lasting changes
More often than not, in a relationship we tend to make large, short term changes. We cook dinner every night for a month, or scrub the house every day for a couple of weeks. Eventually, though, we slide right back to our comfortable old patterns.
If you want to make this work, then you need to work on the small changes, as well as the big ones, and make them permanent changes. You can’t fix things for a short period of time, and then go back to the way things were before and expect them to work out.
4. Argue less
I know guys who give up because they’re sick of their lover always picking a fight over nothing. Honestly, many of us argue to release stress, but it’s not healthy for our relationship. Not only should you NOT take your bad mood out on your man, you should also learn to pick your battles wisely. No guy wants to come home to constant chaos or emotional hysteria.
5. Get out of your routine
Another thing to do if he’s giving up on you is to get out of your daily routine and try something new together. Pick up a hobby, take a vacation…do whatever it is you need to do in order to get away for a moment and regroup yourselves.
Sometimes getting away from each other is time you need apart to think, but sometimes getting away together makes things better. Decide which one is what you and your man really need.
6. Dress for success
I’m a firm believer in being comfortable, but if your relationship has gotten into the comfort slump, then maybe it’s time for you to remind your man of the woman you are.
Dress to impress, look good, even if it’s just around the house. Put some effort in the way you look for him, and it will reflect as putting an effort in your relationship. Your man will appreciate all the little things you do for him.
7. Show him how much he means to you
Most people tell their partner how much they mean to them, but don’t actually show it. You have to show your guy you appreciate him. Listen to him, do the things he would really love for you to do (like cooking or making his favorite dessert), or try doing something he’s always wanted to do (suffer through a day of comic con if that’s what he’s into). Do something that means a lot to HIM.
8. Date again
I bet you and your guy haven’t had a real date in a while, huh? Ordering pizza in your sweats does not count as a real date. Get dressed up, make a reservation, and the two of you go out and have a real and proper dinner date, at a real restaurant, with real conversation. Honestly, the daily routine is often what makes men give up.
9. Make love
Make love to your man. I don’t mean just “have sex” or do your nightly “wham bam thank you ma’am”, I mean actually take your time and make love to your man. Touch him intimately, explore each other, and be sensual more than sexual. There is a big difference between making love and having sex, and this time you really need to make love.
10. Be happy when you’re with him
Another reason men often give up in a relationship is that their woman never seems really happy. Even if you’re not happy with your work, or something else is driving you crazy, your guy will think it’s him.
It’s very important that you’re in a good mood when you see your man and that you show him you’re happy to be with him. Prove to him that HE makes you happy. If a man doesn’t think he is doing that, then he’ll find someone who will appreciate him more.
11. Make sure he’s working on the relationship, too!
Most importantly, when your man is giving up on you and you’re working to bring the relationship back together, you have to make sure he realizes the effort you’re putting into this and that he’s putting in the effort, too. It really does take two to tango, and you can’t make a relationship work all by yourself.
He has to show you that he really wants things to work out. The combined efforts of the both of you will help when he’s starting to give up on you. After all, you can’t fix a relationship by yourself, can you?
12. Seek professional help
If the situation is complex or emotional, it may be helpful to seek the help of a therapist or counselor. They can provide a neutral perspective and help guide you through the process of repairing the relationship.
If the other person needs space or time to process their emotions, give them the space they need. Respect their boundaries and don’t pressure them into continuing the relationship.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly and to take the necessary steps to address the situation. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health throughout the process.