Sometimes in order to get something, all you need to do is try! Simple, right? Actually, yes! Stop over thinking the circumstances and timing, they will NEVER be perfect! Take a breath, be bold and go for what you want!
To be bold, means to forget who you are and think of who you want to be. Or rather where you want to be or with what, by going after whatever it is you want.
One time, a woman wanted to ask for a raise. But, she wanted to wait till the time was right – she didn’t want to do it the first thing in the morning, not right after lunch, not on a Monday, not while her team was getting prepared for a new work assignment. Days became weeks, and weeks turned into months. Soon, she decided it’s better to forget the whole deal – the time simply wasn’t right.
Do you think she was right, or that she simply lacked the boldness and persistence to get what she wanted?
If we look at history, many key players, the movers and shakers, were bold figures. They were the ones that believed the world wasn’t flat and were prepared to bet their lives on it.
All those men and women have one thing in common: they were courageous enough to ignore the opinion of the majority by persistently trying (and succeeding) to present their own thoughts and ideas to the public.
Those men and women were seen as bold and persistent even before they reached their historical successes. Did you ever wonder how they managed to pull it off?
Here are some tips on presenting yourself as a bold and persistent person.
Let’s say you’re at a party. Across the room, you see a guy that looks interesting. You notice that he too is glancing at you.
What will you do?
Wait for him to approach you?
Try to get his attention someway?
Wait a little longer until your absolutely sure he is into you?
Don’t do any of that. Say you’re going to be bold. Just walk over to him and start chatting. Maybe he has a girlfriend that will come back in a minute.
Sure, this is a possibility. But who cares? Did you make a fool of yourself in any way?
Of course you didn’t. Introduce yourself to both of them and continue the conversation.
Boldness and persistency also include the fact that you are willing to risk feeling uncomfortable or a little humiliated. After a while, as my practice has showed me, women that decide to become more bold in their lives learn to deal with it to a point when it simply doesn’t bother them anymore.
Maybe that guy has a girlfriend, but, also, maybe, just maybe, he is the man of your life and is about to leave that party. One version of you just stands there and lets him leave, while the other, the bolder one, the one that’s more persistent, goes over there and gets him.
In essence, boldness and persistency are some of the qualities that people look for in leaders. You might not want to be one, but others who aspire to that position will see you as a treat.
Don’t worry about them. Those individuals will always try to force themselves in any social gatherings, and you shouldn’t oppose them, until your interests collide with theirs. In that case, a conflict is inevitable, but will you shy away from it or face it the first moment it arises?
Ask yourself what would a bold person do?
Resolve your differences by being open, honest and resolute.
If your coworker tries to humiliate you on a staff meeting, respond by a harsher joke on his expense, and don’t worry about the way he will take it. On the other hand, if your boss does the same, try responding with another joke on your own expense.
Can you see the difference? Let me explain: in these occasions you have respected the rules of these social situations, but, at the same time, you also outgrown them – you confronted your coworker directly, and you confronted your boss indirectly.
In both cases you undermined their power to subjugate you verbally.
Apply the same strategy in other environments. This way, you show yourself as a strong individual, a person that isn’t a social outcast, but also isn’t a blind follower of the rules. Your surroundings will notice this.
Feel good about yourself. Feel positive and it won’t be difficult to be bolder and more persistent. The results should be visible before you know it. In fact, the whole process will kick into gear with you barely noticing it. Your environment will react differently on you – If you have some other experiences becoming bolder, please share them with us.
I would love to hear what made you one of those figures that we will remember.
I am a psychologist, author and a journalist, currently in training for a Gestalt therapy degree. I am mostly interested in emotional relationships and the process of change in people endlessly fascinates me. When I’m not working, I enjoy movies, novels, travel and snowboarding.