None of your relationships worked out in the past and you’re wondering if he was the problem or you. Well, the answer might shock you. Read on to find out!
How many guys did you go out on a date in the past few months or a year? How many of them have you been in an actual relationship with? Did any of it work? If yes, good for you! We wish you the best of luck on your journey to finding The One.
On the flip side, if not even one of your many dates turned into a serious relationship, you’d be glad to know that you’re on the right page (so don’t turn elsewhere!).
You see, when you start dating someone, there’s that silent whisper in your heart hoping that the relationship works out for the best (especially if you think the guy is a great match for you).
However, it is normal that you’re left devastated after each of your relationships failed, and you’re probably wondering why they just won’t work when you’re obviously giving it your best shot.
Yes, you know by heart how every relationship is a gamble and you’re quite convinced that you’ve played your cards right. But still, they end up failing and you can’t help but ask the million-dollar question: Why?
As the old adage says, “When it rains, it pours”. But even so, we aren’t here to put blame on the rain or storm (like what you’ve probably been doing).
We’re here to point out what you’ve been missing on for quite some time now: the reasons why it never worked out with any of those guys. Here they are.
Yes, you’ve been single for a long time and you were actively going on dates. But at the back of your mind, you don’t believe that relationships are worth your effort, time, and resources.
You don’t think Mr. Right exists and if ever he does, there’s that huge part of you that believes that he shouldn’t be that hard to find.
While there’s nothing wrong with this mindset, especially if you were born a pessimist, it could have a huge negative impact on the way you view and approach relationships.
You can’t expect your relationships to work if you can’t even get yourself to believe in the first place that there is a chance of them working, even under impossible circumstances.
Thus, it’s crucial for you to change your mindset. When you do, you’ll be surprised as to how your relationships will work (maybe not all of them but you’d surely see a huge improvement when it comes to their success rate).
It’s okay to be picky over who you would want to go on a date with. It’s to be expected since you’re setting aside time and resources for your date.
It’s perfectly understandable if you wanted to be sure that while it may not go as perfect as you’ve imagined it to be, it should at least be better than okay.
However, to be nitpicky to the point of missing out on the chance to go out with few good men who may be a great match for you is just crazy.
While it may save you from disappointments and a broken heart, it will also be the reason why you’ll be single forever.
To be picky or nitpicky? That is the question you should answer and a decision you must make.
Your choice will then determine whether your future dates and relationships will work or not so be careful.
Going on a first date with someone is totally cool but if you’re serious about finding love and letting love find you, know that it shouldn’t stop there.
How else could you possibly know whether you’d be a great match if you stop seeing him after your first meeting? How could you know he’s probably the one you’re looking for if you don’t text/call him back after he called you and asked you out for a second date?
See. This is one of many reasons it never worked out. So the next time you’re ready for what the dating world has to offer, remember: Go on second, third, fourth date if necessary.
You’ve put every guy you’ve gone out with under absurd (and definitely unnecessary) scrutiny, obsessing over the very details of what you’ve talked about and how he conducted himself during your first date.
The result is not a surprise then. Either you think you’re not good enough for him or he’s not good enough for you.
What could have been a beautiful thing at the beginning was ruined because you didn’t give it a chance, thanks to your overthinking brain. Now you know why it never worked out.
Dating may not be as time-consuming as any other thing/person in your life but that’s not to say that it doesn’t require your time because it does.
We’re not saying you should forget about seeing your girlfriends on a Saturday night, visiting your parents when you can, attending your classes, working those double shifts so you can get your bills paid, and others.
But the point is, you should give dating the time it needs if it matters that much to you. That’s a prerequisite to seeing your dating life go from nowhere to somewhere. That’s the first step to actually making it work.
Yes, there’s a lot of fish in the dating pool but that doesn’t mean that you can just swim with one fish to another when you feel like it. If you didn’t like something about the guy you went out on a date with, you should call him out and not just disappear out of thin air.
You’re supposed to exert effort in working things out together because if you don’t, what started as an awesome thing will surely go downhill.
That’s the last thing you wanted to happen if you’ve already invested so much of you in the relationship. Having said so, if there are issues, work together. Make the relationship work. You can do it!
Among all the reasons why none of your relationships worked out, this is the most crucial. Why? Because when you don’t give yourself the love you deserve, you can’t give the love that’s right for the person you’re in a relationship with.
The rule is quite simple: you can’t give out anything, including love if you don’t have it in you. For this reason, don’t put the blame on the guys you’re seeing if your relationships are not working out.
Instead, focus inward. Look towards how is your relationship with yourself. When you focus on what matters most first, you’d be surprised as to how it will improve your interpersonal relationships after. Give it a shot. It’s worth it!
It’s never too late to attempt to make your relationships work, especially now that you’ve identified the reasons why they won’t work at all in the first place.
All you need is a courageous heart, willing mind, lots of patience, and of course, a man who will do just about anything to make things work for you and work out with you. We wish you the best of luck!
Are none of your relationships working out the way you wanted them to currently? How did you make it work? We’d love to hear from you. Share your words of wisdom and thoughts in the comments section!
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus.
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