If you have struggled with making your man last longer in bed, you are not alone. Most men finish sex too quickly, a condition also known as premature ejaculation. Such men are usually done in less than a minute, which is not enough time for a woman to reach her orgasm, as women take longer to reach their peak during sex. While this can be a frustrating experience for a woman, the good news is that there are things that can be done to fix the situation.
Normally, you would think that your man does it out of selfishness. But the truth is that your man is actually embarrassed and disappointed whenever he shoots too early. He may even start avoiding sex, altogether, out of fear of disappointing you. So you are not the only one who is unhappy about the situation. Your man is equally frustrated.
And that is what makes this good news for you. Because he is equally frustrated, he is therefore, open to suggestions and solutions that you may bring to the table. Here are 5 of the most effective solutions that have worked miracles for couples.
Whatever solution you may choose to deal with the situation, it is likely to fail if you do not take steps to understand and deal with the state of your man’s mind. As mentioned earlier, you need to understand that while you may be frustrated by the situation, he is equally devastated by each and every premature ejaculation.
Showing him that you understand the situation will help in reducing the pressure on his mind. Tell him, for example, that you enjoy sex with him whether or not you reach orgasm. This will ensure that that he keeps performing without any fear of disappointing you. And as he becomes more confident, he is likely to start lasting longer out of his own efforts.
While being relaxed and calm may be enough to help some men to start lasting longer in bed, others will need more than just a relaxed mind to overcome the challenge. However, just by putting his mind at ease, a foundation is laid on which you can build longer lasting solution with great success.
One of the best techniques to make a man last longer during sex is to have one of you, or even both of you, reach orgasm during foreplay. Making you, come first before your man enters you helps the man to have a relaxed mind and perform without any fear of coming before his woman as you have already crossed that bridge.
How and what you need to do in order for you to have an orgasm during foreplay differs from woman to woman. While stimulating the clitoris and the G-spot are common factors that work well for most women, different women prefer different ways of doing this. Some women are very sensitive and prefer very gentle stimulation of their genitals while others prefer firmer stimulation of their genitals in order for them to reach orgasm. Still, others need genital stimulation while at the same time having their nipples caressed or sucked in order for them to reach orgasm. Sex toys, like vibrators may also be necessary for some women.
Once you have reached your orgasm, you can then let your man enter you and do his 1-minute act. Chances, though, are that he may have already ejaculated during foreplay. If that is the case, a second round may be necessary. This is likely to last longer as he has already relieved some of the sexual pressure in his body. He is also under no fear of reaching orgasm ahead of you as you already have done so.
That is not to say that you are not entitled to more than one orgasm, but the fact is that men generally last longer during second and subsequent rounds. That being the case, you have higher chances of getting a second orgasm if not more.
Another way of making your man last longer while making love is by making him ejaculate before he enters you. You can do this by stimulating his penis with your hand or using oral sex on him. Once he has come, give him a few minutes to recover and then start caressing his penis, gently, at first and then picking up the pace as his body starts to respond and his penis starts getting erect again. By the time he is fully erect, you are likely to be highly aroused yourself and it will not be long before you reach orgasm during sex. If luck is on your side, you may even have the amazing experience of reaching orgasm at the same time.
Another way of making your man not to come too quickly is by using distraction and disruption during sex. Distraction is a process of having your man take his mind off sex whenever he feels like he is coming close to ejaculating. Disruption requires physical withdrawal of the penis during sex in order to prevent ejaculation.
In the case of distraction, you have to monitor your man’s rhythm and breathing as you are having sex. Once you notice a slight increase in his pace, ask him to stop any movement. You can then start asking him about things that are unrelated to sex just to make him stop thinking about sex. Keep the conversation going until you feel that he has calmed down and he is breathing normally, again. You can then let him start moving again, but be prepared to ask him to freeze, again, whenever you feel him getting ahead of you. You can repeat this process for as long as is necessary until you orgasm.
A man can also distract himself by shifting his attention from sex whenever he feels like he is coming close to ejaculating. To do this, the man will have to start thinking of something not related to sex in order to distract himself. For example, he could start doing mental calculations of some difficult mathematical problems until he feels that he is less aroused. Depending on individuals, this can be done with or without stopping any sexual movement.
Disruption, also known as Stop-Start Technique, involves stopping and physically pulling out the penis order to prevent an ejaculation. Using the same signs as in distraction, your man must stop and withdraw, completely. You can then share a deep, lingering kiss while waiting for him to calm down. You can repeat this as long as you feel that he is getting ahead of you. Eventually, you will come and then he can follow.
The trick with distraction and disruption is to make sure that your timing is perfect, that you do not let the process of ejaculation reach a point of no return. Otherwise, once the process of ejaculation has started, it is difficult to stop. This may be a bit difficult for both of you at first but, as time goes by, you will both be able to tell when your man is starting to move towards ejaculation. Once you have figured it out, it will become easy for both of you to stop the process at the right time.
The squeeze technique involves squeezing certain parts of the penis in order to reduce sensation as well as using some muscles in the penis to stop the process of ejaculation in its tracks.
Gently squeezing and holding the penis at the base of its head has been known to reduce sensation in the penis thereby preventing ejaculation. It is believed that this action works by reducing blood flow in the penis reducing sexual arousal, in the process. Gently squeezing and holding the shaft of the penis before your man enters you can also help decrease his arousal and thereby make him last longer.
Another popular squeezing technique involves stopping an ejaculation by squeezing muscles used to cut off the flow of urine. However, this can only be successful if these muscles, known as pelvic floor muscles are very strong. Fortunately, these muscles can be strengthened through routine known as kegel exercises.
In order to do the exercises properly a man needs to, first, locate the specific part of the pelvic floor muscles responsible for cutting off urine flow. To locate them, a man must stop his urine flow a number of times while lightly holding the base of shaft of his penis just below the testicles. He should be able to feel the muscles contract and relax as he holds and releases urine.
Once he has located the muscles he can start doing kegel exercises by tightening and holding the muscles for 10 seconds and repeating a number of times per session. This exercise can be done anywhere without anyone noticing anything, at all. Repeating the exercises 3 times or more a day will help strengthen the these muscles and your man will soon be able to stop ejaculation at will, forcing the sperm back even when they are already on their way!
While this is great news, you are likely to face challenges as to how to tell your man to start doing kegel exercises. Luckily for you, kegel exercises are also necessary for women for purposes of toning vagina muscles and tightening the vaginal canal (men love tight vaginas). Additionally, having a woman use her vagina muscles to squeeze a man’s penis is one of the most sensational experiences that a man can ever get. So since this is a requirement for both of you, the best way to get your man to start kegel exercise is by convincing him that you would like to start doing the exercises and you would love it if he would join you for support. Few men would refuse such an offer.
In that way, you can start doing the exercise together. For example, you can let him put his finger into your vagina and let him keep count as you squeeze and hold you vagina muscles. You can then do the same to him by putting a finger on his kegel muscles and feel him tighten and hold while you keep count.
Obviously, this may lead to sex but it should not be allowed to disrupt the exercise, so please try to do it as a reward after a successful Kegel exercise session. In fact, depending on how strong-willed you are, as a couple, some couples actually insert the penis inside the vagina and take turns doing the exercise.
The penis head is the most sensitive part of the penis. Any loss or reduction in sexual sensation in this area will make it difficult for a man to reach orgasm. It is for this reason, that drugs called retardants have been developed to help reduce sensation in the head of the penis in order to delay ejaculation.
Most retardants come in the form of creams that can be applied, directly, to the head of the penis in order to desensitise it. Some condoms also contain retardants that decrease sensation in the head of the penis. Even without retardants, condoms, on their own, also help in reducing sensation in the head of the penis, thereby helping your man to last longer in bed. Additionally, some oral medications like Prozac have also been known to help in slowing down or curing premature ejaculation.
Like with any drug, please, make sure that you have tested your retardant for reaction. Most drugs come with instructions on how you can check whether or not you will react badly to the medication. Ask your man to do the test before use. As a woman, always be on the look out for any abnormal discharges or itching after using any type of condom or retardant during sex.
There are different ways of making your man last longer in bed. However, whatever option you choose, remember that it is important to first start by putting your man’s mind at ease. This technique on its own is enough to make him start lasting longer in bed. Otherwise, adding any of the techniques above will surely help your man go the distance and even more.
Let us know what has worked for you in the comment section below.
A father of five children from four different mothers, Dave is 44 years old and married. Of his five children, four are boys aged 15, 15, 12 and 8 while his first born and only daughter is 23 with a child of her own.
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