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#33; I have a slight problem having the lights on, but if they are, I go with it. It’s HIM that turns them off every time. He won’t take off any of his clothes unless the light is off.
I find that some of these can easily go for both genders. For instance, I have an ex who always expected me to know exactly how to please her, and it was a huge turn off.
EXCELLENT! And yes most of these will apply to either sex.
#1.
My biggest problem with my guy. Almost every time, he asks me if I came. Every, time. It’s not sexy. At all. Stop that.
The thing is you can’t expect all or even most guys to apply to at least a few of these, in fact some of them are outright contradictions. How can you expect him to be willing to suggest anything new and yet put all these limitations on him? Expecting him to know things without him expecting you to know things? It sounds like a whole bunch of double standards to me. And you wonder why guys think we’re crazy.
The point of the article was very simple – to state that no rules really apply.
good point
#23 Waking her in the morning from behind–Also called rape. Unless you’ve already spoken to her and gotten permission to have sex while she’s sleeping, you’re risking more than her not liking it, you’re risking jail time. What a disgusting thing to mention even as a possibility; you talk about it as if men should try to not be upset if their girlfriends don’t enjoy rape.
Only one brainwashed by American ‘politness’ can assume that suggesting a morning sex (by getting close to partner from behind) would count as rape attempt!
I agree. As does the legal system. Unless it’s something you’ve both talked about and okayed, it’s just creepy.
Imagine it went the other way. Except instead of your girlfriend, you wake up to your one-night-stand (or two-week-date or girl-you’ve-really-meant-to-break-up-with-but-haven’t-found-the-balls-yet) on top of you. She looked and smelled a lot better when you were drunk (or in love), but now you realize she looks easily twice your age, reeks of dried vomit, and her flaps of skin are somehow both leathered with age and completely broken out in acne. Oh, and she’s mounting you. Obviously, you slept with her last night, so of course this is okay.
THANK YOU, BRENNAN!!
I was pleasantly surprised to see a male saying this. I don’t think there are many (at least that I have seen) men that stand up when they know something is wrong. Kudos, man, and please spread your respectful thinking and audaciousness to every man you come into contact with! :)
I had one ex who was very enthusiastic about sex, but she sometimes treated sex as a favor.
I find it very surprising when people say that men generally avoid afterplay and prefer to go to sleep rather than cuddling or kissing cause it was always her who preferred to go to sleep (although cuddled) rather than talking, i disliked this thing and was complete turnoff for me.
lol don’t be mad. you probably just wore her out a bit. i remember after sex, my girlfriend would usually go to sleep rather than messing around some more or going for a second round, and when i asked her why she said it was because she came to hard after i gave her head. so its not that she didn’t want to cuddle its that having multiple orgasms can make a gal tired. :)
it’s nice when a guy makes sexy sounds too, this proves it’s not just me having fun but him too and they also have to be original…
I feel stupid for trusting my bf saying BJ’s are normal…I dont like it at all
@ Becca: I don’t think anyone is suggesting to do that with a new partner or a one night stand.
Some of us have regular partners, who we regularly sleep with, and who we generally know well enough to understand whether or not they would enjoy waking up in that way.
On that note– after reading all this I have to say I’m glad I have an amazing and open-minded partner who doesn’t seem to have a billion stupid hang-ups like some authors and commenters I’ve seen.
Aaron I agree with you whole heartedly! I’m an open minded woman, lucky enough to have a great sex life with a wonderful regular partner. With an honest relationship comes the understanding of each others wants and needs, then its up to you if you make it happen or not. As long as you do what makes both of you happy, there’s no need to over analyze it.
#30 Are you implying that the only ‘real thing’ is using his penis? What does that mean about lesbian sex? That it isn’t even ‘sex’? Also, guys, if your girlfriend sleeps with another man but he only uses his fingers/mouth on her, won’t you consider it cheating? It’s just ridiculous to say that any other kind of sex isn’t ‘the real thing’. It’s real enough for many people.
#18 (avoiding to kiss me after a BJ) has been one of my greatest pet-peeves – it especially happens with younger men and it pisses the hell out of me!
#23 (waking me in the morning from behind) I have to disagree with you here – I *LOVE* when a guy does that!! I tell all my lovers they should do it. Even though I may not be aroused while asleep, get some lube and wake me up with a c*ck in me, yes please!
#33 (keep some lights on) – I totally agree with you. I hate sex in complete darkness, I wanna be able to see too!
Pervertically Virtuous
You nailed it with number 32 – good girl/bad girl.
Many men label women have sex with them as bad, but want a “good” girl as a girlfriend or wife. Thing is, they eventually get bored with the “good’ girl and cheat on her with the “bad” girl. Even if a woman plays the “good” girl card there’s is no guarantee that she will get any more respect than the “bad” girl. So, if a man has that kind of attitude towards a woman then she is better off without him.
I always break number 16 after a good finger blasting. That being said I won’t stop anytime soon. I like to feel clean after I do that because I’m always sleeping on my hands, making a midnight snack, smoking and other things like that. I mean I wash my hands all the time so it’s more of a habit, by my ex always took it the wrong way.
THe only thing wrong with this is- are all the rules about “how sex should be”. I dont want to walk in the bedroom like an astronaut walking into a space shuttle. sexx is spontaneous and and natural the way nature intended it to be- only time makes sex better. No right or wrong as long as both parties are fully committed. Take this to the bank- forget all the nonsense do sh*t shave this touch this touch that. JUST DO IT PASSIONATELY.
#23 rape? OMG. I’d say half the people commenting here don’t have regular sex. My parter and I (19 years) are always surprising each other for spontaneous sex. I’ve been dragged into a shop changing rooms for a quickie before, was I raped? Forget rules, just respect.
# 23 It’s not like some stranger wakes you up in the morning like that! It’s your partner, your boyfriend, you man with whom you share bed!!!! Who on Earth can think that waking the girl up in the morning with his penis could be considered as rape?!?!?! Is the guy supposed to inform you about such his intention beforehand in a written form??? Yeah, very unexpected, veeery sexy!
Sex is supposed to be spontaneous! Otherwise you will finish making love in accordance with the schedule each Tuesday and Wednesday
What a silly list… I don’t think you need a manual to have sex. Just talk to your partner outside of sex and do what you want while you do have sex and obviously if your partner tells you that he or she doesn’t want something then don’t do it! And if he or she tells you that she does want something, then go for it! Just talk to your partner for god sake. If one side or the other needs to read this to figure out what they’re doing wrong or right, there is obviously not enough communication in the relationship.
If it’s a one night stand you can’t expect it to be perfectly smooth and excellent because you can’t possibly have exactly the kind of sex you want with someone you’ve never had sex with. Though even there, depending on your level of familiarity, you could easily talk about what you like and don’t like before, and sometimes during, sex.