7 Tips on How to Avoid a Second Date

You thought you liked him, you went out on a date, and then discovered that he is just not the right man for you. Telling someone that you don’t want to see him any more is always very difficult and tricky. It involves other people’s emotions, and can be extremely embarrassing and unpleasant. Here are some useful tips on avoiding that second date without hurting him! Listed below, are 7 tips to help you avoid a second date, and find courage to say no.

#1 Don’t Answer the Phone and Don’t Call Him

This is one of the oldest and most cowardly methods to let him know how you feel. If you really can’t manage to do it in any other way, apply this trick, and he will certainly understand. It’s impolite, but efficient. He’ll get the message, but it might be a bit embarrassing if you run into him accidentally in the future.

#2 Postpone

The postponing tactic can also be very useful if you don’t have enough courage to address him directly.

Every time he invites you out, think of a reason to postpone your date. Continue doing it, until he understands that you have no intention of seeing him again.

#3 Write Instead of Speaking

girl with sunglasses texting

Horrible and spineless, but do it if you really have to. Just write a short and clear apology SMS and send it. “Sorry, but I’m emotionally unavailable right now… no hard feelings.” It’s cheesy, but at least he’ll definitely know where he’s at.

#4 Be Clear and Direct

Answer the phone when he calls. Be polite, but firm and honest, and tell him that you are simply not interested in him.

If he starts asking you to give him a chance, and doesn’t realize how you feel, be even more direct and say that you absolutely don’t wish to go out with him. Don’t sound rude or arrogant, but let him understand with your voice that he should definitely not hope for another date.

Be clear and persuasive and remember that you don’t have to justify yourself! Being honest is probably the easiest way to avoid a second date. You do need more confidence for it, but at least you won’t be beating around the bush and making him think he still has a chance. It’s fair to be open.

#5 Try the Gentle and Tactful Technique

Explain that at this moment of your life you don’t feel like starting a new romance. Say that you’ve just come out of an important (long) relationship, and that you are still coping with emotional and psychological consequences.

Tell him politely that you like him, but that you are not yet ready to get involved, or to start sharing your life with someone – you need more time to find yourself again. This excuse will sound perfectly logical and he should be able to understand.

#6 Tell Him You are Already Seeing Someone

smiling couple

It’s a blinding excuse, but it works. Tell him that you are sorry if you have given him any false hope on your first date, but you really can’t stop seeing the other person. Going out with two men contemporarily is absolutely impossible for you! He won’t call you again. If he does, apply the “be clear and direct technique.”

#7 Blame it on Difficult Life Situations

You can always wriggle out of a tricky dating situation, by inventing situational excuses. You can blame life events, such as a sudden and terrible misfortune that happened to your family, an illness of a very dear aunt, a new and demanding job, or a new and important course you are just starting.

Say that you are very sorry, but that this complicated situation you are facing, at the moment, makes it extremely difficult for you to concentrate on other things in your life. This tactic can work, but can also backfire, so you better just woman up – and tell him the truth!

“I’m just not that into you, no hard feelings. Good luck.”

And that’s it.

Let us know how things went and what “excuse” worked for you to avoid the second date.

About the author


Jessica is a translator who has lived for many years in Asia and South America. She now lives and works in Europe, while preparing her new journeys. She enjoys traveling, meeting new people, exploring different cultures and foods, and being in love.

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