Smooth Ways to Approach a Guy You Like

Learning how to approach the guy you’re interested can have a huge pay-off in many ways. Here are some smooth ways to help you approach the guy you like!

We’ve all heard women say how tough it is to find a good guy, and it’s true. They do tend to be few and far between.

However, there are great guys out there who would love to bring you into their life and add value to yours. We do exist. The issue is, the high-value guys tend to have a lot of options in their life.

They are more than likely not going to approach you, because they already have so much selection within their social circle. So what can women do to try and add more of these high-value guys to their life?

One way is to approach, the other is to entice them to approach. Either way works, most women who know what they are doing prefer the latter. Women who are comfortable with their sexuality and open-minded tend to prefer the former.

So let’s break it down:


This is probably the most low-risk and subtle way to get a guys attention. All you need to do is plant yourself within close proximity of him.  n order to pull this off, you need to have your look together.

I’m not saying you need to be the hottest girl in the bar, but you should have a cool sense of style and well-fitting clothes. I think most women have this area of their life down fairly well in comparison to men. We tend to care about fashion much less; most guys don’t realize what it says about them.

I’d also recommend having some cool, fun friends with you. Going out in groups of three girls tends to work best. This way, if your guy does approach, your other friends can entertain one another.

If you’re going out to meet fun guys and spend a large portion of your night with him and possibly even go home with him, then be sure to go out with friends that are non-judgmental.

So this is a fairly easy and low-risk way for you to “approach” a guy, but there is no guarantee he will. It is probably even less likely he will if he is with a large group of people with lots of attractive women.

Eye Contact

pretty girl and ginger guy making an eye contact

This is the most sure-fire way to get a guy to approach. If he doesn’t approach you after giving him strong eye contact, then the chances are unlikely that he will at all. The guys who are good with women know exactly what that means. It’s an invitation to come approach.

If a guy sees this and he has high self-esteem, then he will more than likely come and strike up a conversation with you. If you make solid eye contact and he still doesn’t come over, it means either he is not interested or he is not very secure with himself. Either way is no good.

You probably don’t want a guy who is too insecure to approach you and start-up a conversation.

Direct Approach

I’m calling this a direct approach, but it really isn’t.

Women don’t approach guys nearly as much as the inverse. There’s nothing wrong with either way, it’s just the way we’ve developed as a species and as a culture.

So the direct approach involves you going up to a guy and commenting on something arbitrary. So for example, you could compliment him on a unique watch, or t-shirt, or shoes. Any guy who is halfway decent with women will know that you are interested and it has now paved the way for you to strike up a conversation with him and find out if he’s the type of guy you’re interested in.

If you’d like, you can go more direct than this. If you’d like to compliment a guy on his attractiveness, it doesn’t get much more blatant than that. However, I would warn that this approach might lead to the guy assuming a sexual relationship will develop fairly quickly.

There is nothing wrong with that if that is what you are looking for, but that is probably what he’ll be thinking. A cool, open-minded guy won’t judge you for that.

In my travels though, I’ve found that there tend to be more judgmental people than not in this world.  Perhaps that’s just me being judgmental, but that’s what I’ve seen.

The only time I’d recommend against this approach is if the guy is with another woman. Even then, you can still do it, but it might start some controversy between you and the other woman.

If you’re having anxiety about approaching a strange guy you don’t know in a public setting, read Your Erroneous Zones by Wayne Dyer.

Indirect Approach

couple drinking a champagne

This is a super low-risk way to strike up a conversation with a guy. However, your intent is going to be much less obvious.

This approach is going to revolve around situational relevance. You’ll want to go up and ask for the time, where the bathroom is, or if the caught the score of the Knicks game. If they don’t continue the conversation after giving you what you asked for, it’s no big deal.

The downside is, they may not realize that you are actually interested. They may be thinking this attractive girl is just looking for the time.


Obviously, there are more than one ways to skin a cat. I’d say your best bet is to try and get guys to approach you by making it obvious that you are interested in that way.

If you feel the guy is so high-value that it might not work, then I would try the riskier approaches that might yield better results. Remember, the guys you’re interested in probably have lots of options. They aren’t going to be running around the bar approaching strange women all night.

I’d say the best thing to keep in mind is that they’re just people, and they have no power over how you feel about yourself. They don’t define you. So get out there and find yourself the guy you’ve been looking for.

About the author

Brandon Douglas

I'm a 27-year old US citizen who has been living in Vancouver, BC the last two years, rising quickly in the corporate world. After a near-death experience last fall and lots of soul searching, I have quit that career to pursue my dreams of being an actor and dating coach.

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