Your family and friends keep asking you about your dating life, and why haven’t you settled down before turning 30. We get it, it can be a bit overwhelming and frustrating but don’t worry, being 30 and single has so many perks people tend to forget!
You still have time to figure yourself out
One of the biggest complaints you can hear from couples who have been together since their teenage years is the lack of „me-time”. Instead of coping with all that in a relationship, you had and still have lots of time to figure out yourself and everything around you.
How to live alone (and actually enjoy living and being alone), how to find hobbies, how to make friends, how to find what you genuinely enjoy – and while there was always the support of your family and friends, you definitely got stronger by learning these alone.
And once you feel like you’ve gotten to the point where you are happy by yourself or at least know yourself very well (which tends to be missing from so many of us), finding a partner will be a lot easier as well.
You know what you want and what you are looking for in a partner, and instead of blinding falling in love, you will fall in love with a personality who you can really trust.
You are still not too late
You might think you are too late now to start a family or find the love of your life, but this is such a huge misconception around this topic!
Although you might feel like the only person in the world left alone in her 30’s, you are definitely not alone in this situation, and just like you, most men in their 30’s already have a better understanding of themselves and what they want, which makes dating way easier than you think.
You can create & live by your own rules
You don’t have to adapt to anyone else. In this case, not giving up any habits and only considering your needs is not selfish, it’s perfectly fine, and to be honest, it sounds pretty good too.
You have more time and energy to improve yourself, try out and learn new things and “fix” yourself if you are feeling a bit down. Besides taking time off if you feel like things are going the wrong way, you also generally have more me-time, even if it’s about small things, such as cooking or working out in the middle of the night.
Of course, there are times when you wish you were living together with someone and wouldn’t have to cope with everything on your own, but always remember the biggest picture and even during those gloomy days, try to stay positive.
You didn’t settle for less
Always keep in mind that instead of going for the wrong guy (who you could live together with and who could be your husband), you trusted yourself enough to stay independent and free.
And instead of a divorce or an unhappy relationship, you now have the energy to work on yourself and find someone who you can actually love and be happy with. Never feel guilty for not settling down “young enough”.
One of the best advice my mother has ever given me about relationships was to never force anything in a relationship. Working together and fixing issues can save relationships, but forcing happiness or staying together because of comfort never has a happy ending.
You can spend time with your family & friends
It might sound like a huge cliché, but you will definitely have more time to be with your loved ones compared to when you are married/live together with your boyfriend.
Spontaneous weekend family visits, random Tuesday night outs with your friends…there are no limits!
You can step outside of your comfort zone
No matter how old we are, we will always have a comfort zone that needs to be forgotten sometimes.
Join a language exchange group, go to that salsa dance class you always wanted to attend, or simply go out on a Wednesday night and explore a new, local bar.
All these things might seem a bit strange and frustrating at first, but just like experimenting with things at 20, there are still endless opportunities you still have to discover.
Exploring your boundaries and stepping out of your comfort zone will also help you to learn even more about yourself and meet new people.
You can have fun with it
Dating can be a lot of fun, so why wouldn’t you enjoy it too? Dating around, meeting new people, and having fun will help you get to know different opinions and point of views while creating various spontaneous, surprising situations…and a bad date always makes a good story with your friends!
Don’t be ashamed to try and look for love instead of waiting for it to suddenly appear. Visit new places, meet new people, and don’t forget to be flirty.
It’s okay to enjoy it
Don’t feel ashamed just because you enjoy being alone! Whether you are looking for someone or just want to be alone for a few more months or even years, both is perfectly fine.
You might have been single for a while or just ended a serious relationship with your ex, either way, make sure you enjoy the moment and being single, even if you want to date someone in the near future.
With all the free time, learning your own boundaries, trying out new things and living by your own rules, it’s completely understandable if you are happy being alone!
You can start your relationship with confidence
While our teenage years and early 20’s are more of our “lost” years, in your thirties, you have more experience, and knowing what you want in general will help you a lot in finding the right guy.
You will be able to start a relationship without major insecurities and feeling confident and acceptable, which will help you have a healthy, happy relationship.