7 Things That Freak Guys Out On a First Date

Are you about to go on your first date and wondering what NOT to do? Did you just have a first date and are now at home wondering why he hasn’t called yet? If either of these scenarios are you, then here are 7 things that freak guys out on a first date that you should definitely be aware of.

Men are… how do I say this politely… chickens. Seriously, they’re terrified of women. Imagine a skittish deer caught in a pair of headlights, not sure whether to stay or flee, and you have a man on a date.

Now, with that being said, we women have to present ourselves properly in order not to scare him off that first date. I know what you’re thinking, “Why would I want a man I could easily scare off?” I always thought the same thing, as well.

However, it’s not that simple. Men aren’t the alpha guys we read about in romance novels. Real men are just as intimidated and nervous about us as we are them (and probably even more so).

So, in case you’re wondering how you should act on that first date, and what moves not to make, and in case you want to see this man again, here are the top seven things that freak guys out.

#1 Chewing With Your Mouth Open

If you chew with your mouth open, your date might actually get up and walk out. Seriously. It’s important to be a lady on your date.

If he wanted to hang out with his ill-mannered frat brothers, he would be there right now instead of on a date with you. Close your mouth. You can have bad habits later in the relationship.

#2 Being the First One to Make a Move

Portrait of a beautiful married couple of hipsters in trendy clothing drinking mojito and kissing in vintage cafe

While you might think it’s sexy, the truth is many men are intimidated by a woman who makes the first move.

Instead of kissing him first, let him be the one to move in close to you. If he’s too shy, you’ll scare the hell out of him by making the first move, and if he’s used to being a sex object, he’ll just think you’re another woman who wants one thing from him.

You can always take charge later, but for now, let him be the one who chases you.

#3 Being Smarter Than He Is

Okay, this is going to sound ridiculous (and it is), but men want an intelligent woman… they just don’t want her to show him she’s smarter than he is. Why? It’s an ego thing.

While your date isn’t going to want you to be an empty headed giggling idiot, he also doesn’t want you to know more about stuff than he himself does.

In other words, even if you already know how to fly an airplane, change the oil in your car, can converse about quantum physics and you can cook anything under the sun, be humble about it.

Let him show off his awesome mechanical skills. Also, be as interested as possible as he does. Yes, it’s silly, but men are emotionally complex.

#4 Being Overtly Sexual

If you’re on your first date, don’t be overly enthusiastic about sleeping with him. You might want to push him onto the table, cover him in soy sauce, and lick him up and down, but it’s best to keep all that inside.

Men get really freaked out by women who are too sexual on the first date. In other words, let him pursue you. He wants a woman who wants him, but he doesn’t want a woman who makes it too easy. Guys like a challenge.

#5 Referring to Your Place As “Home”

Lovers being unhappy because of troubled date

If you utter the words, “Let’s go home,” instead of, “Want to go back to my place” he’s going to freak out on you. Saying “home” implies a certain level of domestic comfort. In other words, he thinks you’re seeing wedding bells.

Regardless of whether or not you are, it’s important to hide it from him. This is only the first date and he’s simply trying to figure out if he wants a second one. Don’t frighten him with words that remind him of commitment yet.

#6 Not Eating

Eat. No really, eat. If you don’t eat, a guy freaks out. He worries that you’re high maintenance, he wonders if you’re insecure about your body, he has no idea if you chew with your mouth open or closed (see #1) and there’s nothing but your blank stare during those moments of uncomfortable silence.

Also, if you order a salad and then steal all his fries, it’s going to freak him out. He wants you to eat, and he wants you to eat your own food. Get yourself a burger, woman.

#7 Acting Over Emotional

If you want a guy to go running away quick, be over emotional. Cry at that romantic comedy you watched, then give your best road rage as you drive to the bar where you proceed to get a little too tipsy and start flirting mercilessly with him until you decide it’s time to cry again and maybe he should just take you home.

Here’s a hint, if you want a second date with this guy, control your crazy. Hold off on the tears, control the rage and for the sake of your potential second date, don’t go psycho on him. Your over emotional tendencies can wait until another date.

The thing to remember is that guys really are timid creatures; which is especially true if they’ve been hurt before, have a crazy ex-girlfriend, are virgins, play the field a lot, normally shy anyway, have an unusually high level of self-esteem, or are otherwise any kind of man on the planet.

In all fairness, women are crazy.

If you want to not freak him out, and you want to potentially have another date with him, the best thing you can do is act as normal and harmless as possible and use your manners. Show him all your crazy later.

Have you ever freaked a guy out on a first date? How?

For even more first date ideas, don’t miss my Ultimate First Date Guide.

About the author


Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.

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  • is this a joke? Reinforcing these sort of stereotypes undermines womens’ self- confidence and makes them feel like they need to please men instead of just be themselves… you’re a writer, you have a public platform which gives you the opportunity to support other women instead of making them feel bad. Why don’t you give it a go?