The first step after any breakup is to grieve the loss: the loss of the relationship and the loss of the life you shared together. Cry, get angry, go through the cycles of grief.
But then, after the crying has stopped, it’s time to move on. Time to stop thinking about him. Time to move on with your life. Moving on isn’t easy, but it is much harder when you can’t get your ex off your mind.
That means it's the right time to take the action. Below is a collection of tips on how to get over your ex and how to stop thinking about him.
Purge your world
This is arguably the first thing you should have done after the breakup, but if you couldn’t that’s understandable. But, the time has come to purge your world. Delete those pictures. Delete his number. Delete him from everything. Get rid of anything that has the slightest connection to your ex; throw it out, recycle it, delete it or toss into the deepest darkest cupboard you can find.
Deleting his friends and family is essential—though it might be hard. The reality is you don’t need to be exposed to anything that has to do with him. As long as you have any connection to him, the chances you will be able to move on are slim.
Chances you will still be thinking of him are higher when you are constantly getting social media updates every hour. Even if you’re hoping to remain friends after the breakup, you still need a couple months of estrangement (about half the time of the relationship to be on your own seems to be the norm). So, as hard as it is, draw the line and delete, delete, delete.
Sure, it’s a little harsh, but cutting all connections will help you in the long run. Purging your world may feel crappy but the positives of it far outweigh the drawbacks.
Stay off social media
Social media has a way of creating tension and adding excess stress and pressure to our lives. Which is why, after a breakup, it’s a good idea to just stay off it for awhile.
Social media can be great—it has its benefits but right after a breakup it just adds stress to life. Give yourself a break—a social media cleanse if you will, and ignore the constant stream of menial and pointless information. Stop updating and just take care of yourself. Be a little selfish when trying to get over someone and hoard your privacy like diamonds.
Don’t become stagnant
Lying around the house all day won’t help you get over him. Don’t isolate yourself. Isolating yourself will create stagnancy in your life, and that almost guarantees that your mind will wander back to your ex.
By being stagnant, you run the risk of living in, and romanticising the past—trust me, that is not conducive to getting over someone. Stop it before it starts. Shake things up. Get yourself up off the couch, away from the TV and get out of the house!
It will also add excitement to your life as well as create new opportunities and possibilities. You could join the local gym, go swimming, try a new restaurant, take up a new hobby, spend time outdoors; all of these are examples of how you can get yourself out of the house and give you something new to focus on. And once you have something to focus on you’ll find that woeful thoughts of your ex will occupy your thoughts less and less.
See your friends and make new ones
It’s time to get out of the house and get together with some friends—new and old. It’s possible that you may have lost contact with some friends while you were busy with your SO. It happens to the best of us.
We sometimes neglect friendships in order to spend more time in our new relationship. So it is time to take this period of time back and get back in touch with those friends you’ve been neglecting. It is also a great time to work at making new friends, to try new things and get out of your comfort zone.
Get involved and get out
Join a club you have an interest in, a photography club perhaps? Or take some new classes—exercise, painting, ect. Take some courses at your local college—enhance your knowledge base and meet likeminded people.
Getting out of your house and getting yourself involved within your community is a great thing to do for yourself after a breakup. It opens up opportunities, encourages you to take chances, and inspires positive change in your life. Follow your passions and interests, listen to your heart and go after what you want!
Have you always wanted to learn Spanish or Photography? Do have a desire to paint a masterpiece? Look around your town, likely the local art store has some classes you can sign up for. Recreation centers have tons of interesting classes for you to take part in.
You can learn everything from knitting to belly-dancing. Look into your local college at general interest courses, guaranteed you’ll find something there. The point is, if you look, you’ll find opportunities to do just about anything you could want. You’ll have so many options you won’t know where to start.
The best way to get over your ex and get him out of your mind is to start living your life. To do things that will make you happy in the long run. Getting out of the house and out of your comfort zone may be uncomfortable and undesirable in the short-term, but in the long term it will add to your happiness. Meeting new people, getting out of the house, getting involved with the community, these are all ways you can get your ex off your mind and out of your heart.