All through high school I had crushes on the bad boys. I loved the heavy metal guys with their leather jackets and kick-ass attitudes. I loved alpha men who weren’t afraid of getting what they wanted. Sadly, for the most part, I still love these kind of guys. I can’t say that they love me back, though.
In fact, most of the time, my best friend would find out who I was crushing on and steal him away before I even had a chance to get the guy’s attention. When I did have their attention, I was instantly friend zoned.
As I got older, I was just used and tossed away as these same guys fell head over heels for the bad girls I desperately wanted to be but just couldn’t bring myself to become. I can’t say that the experience was painless.
Let me tell you why it’s okay to be the girl everyone wants to be friends with. Let me explain why it’s not tragic that good girls finish last and they aren’t Miss Popular. Most importantly, let me tell you why you’re the lucky one.
1. You are more well-rounded
As a good girl you likely spent your nights studying or getting into extra-curricular activities at school. I was in the band, the drama club, the debate team, and advanced Chemistry because I wasn’t out drinking and doing drugs with my bad-ass friends. Now, I can say I learned a lot and can hold a conversation with a variety of people on a variety of subjects. As an adult, that’s a pretty nifty skill.
2. You don’t have too many scars
I have a few scars from my let downs, but nothing that seriously devastated me. I didn’t end up pregnant at fifteen with five kids by the age of thirty three, I didn’t give up my hopes and dreams, and I didn’t waste my life with some jerk who never graduated high school. You didn’t either. That’s actually a really good thing, don’t you think?
3. The “real guys” want you
My bad girl friends always had the wrong kind of guy, but it was always the “nice guys” who wanted to date me. As an adult, it gets harder and harder to find those nice guys, but they’re out there and they’re real and they want a genuinely good girl to form a real relationship with. As a good girl you’ll attract good guys.
4. You know what you want
Also, you know what you want out of a guy. You’ve had plenty of time to think about all the characteristics that are important to you, to fantasize about Mr. Right and what qualities he has, and you know exactly where you want to be in life. Most people don’t have a clue about those things.
5. You’ve had time to do your own thing
Because you’ve been single and not out getting knocked up by Mr. Wrong, you’ve had plenty of time to explore your own interests and do the things that you want to do. You’ve had all the time in the world to go out and explore yourself and find out who you really are, which is exactly what you need when the time comes to settle down and find the right man.
6. You won’t settle for less
Because you’ve had all this time to find out about yourself, you’re much less likely to just be in a relationship that isn’t worth it. You want someone intelligent, good looking, and kind, just like you are. You want the real thing, the entire package, all of the things you deserve, and you’re not going to settle for anything less than that. After all, you’ve waited your entire life.
7. You’re more mature than other girls
Lonely nights usually mean that you’ve spent a lot of time maturing and thinking about things. You don’t thrive on drama, you don’t need to be in a relationship with some guy who will love you one day and leave you the next, and you don’t rely on anyone else to keep your self-esteem intact. You are more mature than other girls and that, my dear, is very important to the right kind of man.
8. Your man will really appreciate you
Because of your maturity and all of your well-rounded interests, I want you to realize that the right man will really appreciate you. He will love you, cherish you, be good to you, and he won’t let anyone take you away from him.
9. Your relationship has a higher chance of lasting
You should also know that even though you feel like you’re the last one to finish, your relationship is going to be the one that lasts. You won’t settle for the wring guy, you won’t want someone who isn’t worth your time, and the guy who wants you will be the guy who is looking for more than a fling or a one night stand.
You might have been waiting for Mr. Right your whole life, but remember that he’s been waiting for you, too. He could be a nice guy finishing last like you, or, he could be a bad boy who’s ready to settle down and do the right thing with a good girl. Either way, your emotional maturity will enhance the likelihood of you having a lasting relationship.
10. You’re still genuinely happy
For now, though, even if you feel like you’re last and that you’ll never find love, you’re also genuinely happy with who you are and the things you’ve accomplished and become. Your own happiness is important to your self-worth and you will be happy even if you’re still waiting on the right man.
Your happiness is really all that matters in life. So why worry about being “last” when you already know that you’re amazing?
Everything has its upsides and its downsides. You chose to be good, even though that’s much harder than being reckless and bad, because that fulfills you and makes you happy, and the man you end up with will see your true worth and love you for it. What do you think; does it pay off being the good girl?