Having A Crush On Your Coworker – How To Approach Him?

If you have a crush on your coworker, this article can help you decide what to do.

At almost any workplace you find yourself at within the span of your career, you will end up feeling attraction to someone there.

Whether it be someone in the same department, someone who works somewhere else in your office building, or even your own boss; attraction at the workplace is perfectly normal for all professions. In fact, it’s virtually unavoidable unless you start working from home.

Thinking someone is cute around the office is totally harmless. Still, what hat should you do if you have an all out crush on them? What if when they are in the room you can barely focus on anything else?

If this is happening to you then you definitely have a problem on your hands. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a solution. There is a solid move you can make to either get him or get him off your mind Allow yourself to stop focusing so much on him.

And if you go about it the right way, things will not be awkward around the workplace. The last thing you want is a clammy, uncomfortable situation every day from then on, so proceed very carefully. Let’s take a look at the best way to make a move without making things too weird.

How to Approach Your Crush at Work

How to Approach Your Crush at Work

The best way to go about it is to let them know that you are interested in seeing them outside of work by straight up asking them to meet (with other coworkers there helps to give you an alibi in case your move falls flat).

BUT, you have to be extremely careful about what you say. When having crush on your coworker,  you need to take another step after that. Regardless of what he says, in order to find out how he actually feels about it.

Invite Him to Meet You and Other Coworkers First

This is a harmless way to prod him a bit. See, #1, how he responds to your invitation in terms of body language, the tone of voice, and what he says, and #2, whether he actually shows up if he agrees.

He Doesn’t Seem to Be that Interested Though. What if He Says No?

As a man, he might not even realize that he is attracted to you until you let him know that you are interested in him. As the saying goes, interested is interesting. If he has no idea that you like him yet, he may not even have seriously considered it.

Being in a professional environment makes many people view those around them strictly as colleagues. This can all change though if you break through the ice. It’s good to let him know you’re interested in being friends. It’s better to start from there considering the circumstances, and meeting outside of work.

Follow Up Conversation

Crush On Your Coworker

Now that you asked him, it’s time to have another quick chat with him. Talk about something non-work related, such as hobbies, personal life, etc. After he’s had a day or even a few days to consider your invitation (even if he declined), try testing out some friendly conversation.

Be very careful not to seem desperate or pushy in any way. Approaching him twice is fine as long as it feels casual both times and not like some sort of attempt or ploy.

The follow-up conversation is very important and must not be skipped. Here are two possible scenarios that demonstrate why:

a) His first reaction was flat because he didn’t have time to think about it yet

b) His first reaction was to say yes and be nice but hasn’t had time to think twice about whether he should meet up with you or not outside of work

No matter what his first reaction is, you ought to give him a chance to communicate to you. Ether directly or through his attitude and body language, whether or not he is interested in meeting you outside of work.

What if He Still Isn’t Interested?

Having a crush on your co your coworker can be exhausting. If he completely doesn’t want to, then take this one on the chin and start training yourself to stop liking him so much. Remind yourself that something between you two will never happen and is unrealistic.

Don’t look at him unless he is speaking to you and try your hardest to view him as a colleague or associate and nothing more. You did what you could. Now it’s time to move past thoughts of wanting to be with him and focus on your work. Just block him out to the best of your abilities.

Is it a Bad Idea to Ask Out a Coworker?

Is it a Bad Idea to Ask Out a Coworker?

Yes and no, because it depends on what kind of guy he is. If it will likely be a quick fling, the entire office will be talking about it so you might end up embarrassed.

Do you think you two might be compatible with something very long term? Then it’s totally worth giving it a good effort. If you think there’s any chance that he could be the one for you, don’t let the opportunity pass you by.

What if I Have a Crush on My Boss?

Having crush on your coworker who is actually your boss?! If you have a crush on the boss of your department or even of all departments, as long as he is single, it’s still okay to proceed more or less the same way as you would with a co-worker.

You can invite him to meet you and some other coworkers to join some kind of activity. Maybe a dinner, some kind of an event, or even a beer or cocktail. But you should emphasize the destination rather than the activity if you have drinks planned.

Instead of saying, “Me and so and so are going to have drinks at xx restaurant,” say something like, “Me and so and so are going to meet at xx restaurant at x time. Would you like to join us?”

What If He Says He Can’t?

What If He Says He Can’t?

If he declines with an excuse that is something that could easily be postponed, it’s okay to ask him to loosen up.  Insist he joins you, in your own words. If he still says no to that, the follow-up conversation is pretty much a make or break. If he still doesn’t show any significant signals of interest after a follow-up, abandon ship.

What Will People Think of Me If They Find Out I Have a Crush on My Boss?

You might want to keep this one a secret until further notice. By might I mean definitely. It’s better not to discuss it with anyone who you know could spread rumors. And be careful not to make it obvious to others that you are interested in him otherwise watercooler talk might be about you.

What Will People Think of Me If They Find Out that I’m Dating My Boss?

People will inevitably find out, but not straight away. As your boss will probably insist on, it’s best to keep it a secret until things get serious. When word gets out, it will be the talk of the office for quite some time either way, but at least if you stay together you spare yourself the worst of the potential scrutiny.

Having a crush on a coworker is a tricky thing to deal with. It’s not something that’s completely out of your control. If you have an intense attraction to them but can’t seem to catch their interest, don’t worry.

You do not need to change jobs. You do not need to dread going to work each day out  of shame or embarrassment. Eventually, your burning desire for that person will diminish,. You will be able to get back to your normal routine.

What to Do After Having Sex With My Boss?

Well, it’s never going to be the same. Accept this experience and accept what comes after it. Be professional, no matter what happened after you two slept together. Try to treat him like you did before your became intimate, and don’t make a public spectacle out of it.  Control your behavior and remember that silence is golden. This is between you two. If it was just sex and your relationship doesn’t have perspective, move on gracefully.  If you want detailed advice about what after having sex with your boss, read our article.

Think About Other Options

Do you have any other potential dates? The matter can become clearer if you consider dating different guys, or even just one. You have a difficult life if you can’t even contemplate dating anyone besides your coworker. What happens when you two break up? It will be quite an awkward situation meeting him every day at work. Are you able to handle that? Maybe you don’t need to take any action because it’s just a small crush. Think about it very carefully.

Having a crush on your coworker  can be hard to deal with,. Seduction at work is a tricky art, but if you still want that here are the best tips on how to seduce guy at work.


About the author

David Paulson

I’m a Florida native who can’t help but get myself into romantic trouble everywhere I look. During football season, I allow my weekends to be consumed with sports. During the long months in between, I focus most of my energy on trying to find the perfect match. So I’m here to share some of my knowledge with you, because I know deep down you’re just like me.

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