Love

Here’s How To Differentiate True Love From Infatuation

Finding true love is a dream for a lot of people. We grow up wanting a fairytale: a prince who comes in at just the right moment makes us happier than we have ever been before and turns everything in our life to sprinkles and rainbows and butterflies. It can feel tough to find this kind of person and we can wonder if love is simply a dream and if we should focus on other things.

We might not fall in love all that often, but we do tend to have a lot of crushes. Those are a lot easier since you don’t need to think too hard about them. You meet a guy, you think that he’s cute, and you like him. That’s really all that there is to it.

What do you do when you’re dating someone new and can’t tell if it’s true love or if you’re just in lust with him? Sometimes it can be tough to tell the difference, but there are a few ways to figure this out.

Read on to find out how to differentiate true love from infatuation.

1.) Think about how this guy really makes you feel

So you’re seeing someone new and you know that you like him… at least, you like him enough to spend time with him. You find him attractive and maybe there’s something else about his personality that draws you to him, whether it’s his sense of humor or a certain quirk.

But how does he really make you feel? If you want to differentiate true love from infatuation, then this is a good way to do that.

Does he make you feel more confident and more like yourself than you ever have before? Does he make you feel understood and appreciated? Does he make you feel like no matter what you told him, he would listen carefully and be there for you?

If you answered yes to those questions, then it’s very possible that this is true love. These are the ways that you should definitely feel if you’re in love with someone. If you’ve just got a crush on him or it’s only lust, then you know that you find him attractive but you don’t really have any other emotions that are attached to him or your time together.

2.) Consider whether you two actually have real conversations

When it’s just infatuation, you might not actually talk to this guy that you’re so interested in. It’s possible that you two have a physical relationship but that’s really all that is going on. It’s also possible that things haven’t gotten to that stage yet but there’s a lot of flirting and texting going on.

Do you two actually have real conversations? When you want to differentiate true love from infatuation, this is a helpful question to ask yourself. You can’t be in love with someone that you can’t talk to about everything. And you wouldn’t want to be, right?

When you think about the love story that you’re looking for, you most likely want to come home from work and chat all about your day with your guy while you make dinner and then enjoy your culinary success. You want to run errands and go for walks and just generally enjoy life together, all the while knowing that you can always chat about anything.

When you’re simply infatuated with someone, the conversation piece of the relationship might not be there. Thankfully, when it’s true love, you have both the friendship and the romance part, and that’s the dream.

3.) Compare him to other guys who you have dated

Wondering how to differentiate true love from infatuation? Another good way to do that is to compare this guy to other guys who you have dated.

When you’re in love and it’s true, real love that isn’t going to go away tomorrow, it’s important to think about how this guy stacks up to your past boyfriends (or even just people that you’ve gone on dates with).

You’ll know that you’re in true love when this guy is so much more amazing (in every single way) than anyone that you have dated before. He’ll be sweeter, more interesting, more interested in commitment, more reliable, and just generally the best. You’ll think so highly of him and won’t even believe that you dated other people before him. You’ll definitely wish that you had been with him this entire time.

If you like him but don’t think he seems that different from your ex-boyfriends or anyone that you’ve met before, then it might just be infatuation and not true love. You want to feel amazed that you’ve found this person.

4.) Picture yourself walking away

Sometimes the best way to figure out how you really feel about someone is to picture yourself walking away. If you’re wondering how to differentiate true love from infatuation, then think about how you would feel if you broke up with this guy tomorrow (or if he was the one who said that he didn’t think that you should see each other anymore).

Would you cry (a lot)? Would you feel totally and completely devastated? Would you feel like you had lost your soulmate and best friend and like you couldn’t even believe that this was happening to you?

If you can’t even imagine what your life would be like without this guy, then that’s a really good, clear sign that this is true love. And if he feels the same way about you, which is of course what you’re hoping for, then that’s an even better sign.

If you shrug at the thought of no longer dating this person, that proves that it’s just infatuation and it’s not true love. It’s helpful to ask yourself this question and you’ll definitely know the answer right away so you won’t have to search too hard.

5.) Ask yourself if you’re always excited to see him

The final way to differentiate true love from infatuation? Ask yourself if you’re always excited to see this guy. Does even the mere thought of seeing him again fill you with joy and excitement? When you wake up next to him, are you happier than you ever have been before and it’s your favorite thing?

Sure, you might smile when this person shows up at your apartment door or when you meet each other at a restaurant, but if you’re not super thrilled when you two can spend time together again, it’s just not true love.

You want to feel like every day with him brings you the most joy out of anything that you’ve ever experienced before. He’ll make you excited to even just go for a walk around your neighborhood, which is something that you’ve done a million times before but is all that much more exciting because you’re with the person that you love.

True love and infatuation can both make you feel a similar way. You can feel super happy, your thoughts can be consumed by this guy all the time, and you can feel like you’ve got a ton of energy all the time, no matter what is going on.

But true love and infatuation are, in fact, very different, and mean different things in your life. When you’re in love and it’s for real, then you’ve found your person and you feel confident about that. When it’s just infatuation, you really don’t know how long you two will be in each other’s lives, and things are much more casual.

These 5 will help you figure out differentiate true love from infatuation. When you’ve met your one true love, you’ll know it for sure, and life will never be better.

About the author

Aya Tsintziras

Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She loves coffee, barre classes, 90s television and pop culture. She is a food blogger at A Healthy Story and shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories.

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