Being in love with someone is often a lot more difficult than the movies tell us. Sure, sometimes we have romantic evenings with fancy dinners and presents, but that’s not what love really is. That’s just material stuff. Love is all about spending time together, sharing your life with your partner, and being there for each other when bad (and good) things are going on.
When you’ve been with someone for a long time and they start ignoring you or treating you differently, it can be really tough to deal with. You can be filled with negative feelings and wonder if you did something wrong or if you’re not a good girlfriend or wife.
The truth is that relationships go through tough points and it’s nothing that you did. When you’re dealing with being pushed away by someone you love, you won’t be happy about it, of course, but there are some things that you can do to save your relationship.
Here’s how to deal when you’re being pushed away by someone you love. These simple 5 steps are all that you need and before you know it, your love life will be back to normal.
1.) Let them know that you’re always there for them
When you’re being pushed away by someone you love, it’s possible that they’re doing this because they don’t think that you’ll accept them if they tell you what’s happening in their life. Or maybe they’re worried about how you’re going to react and don’t want to upset you. Or maybe they’re just not ready to share whatever it is yet.
Whatever their reason for pushing you away, it’s best not to get really upset and start a fight. Sure, that might be your first instinct, and you might want to do that, but it’s probably not the best idea. They will just get even more upset and take it out on you, and no one wants or needs that.
Instead, let them know that you’re always there for them. This will help them become more comfortable with talking to you about whatever is happening when they decide that it’s the right time.
2.) Do some little things that will be really helpful
When someone that you care about is going through a rough time (which is definitely what’s going on if they’re pushing you away), they might not be taking care of themselves the way that they typically do. This could mean that they’re forgetting to eat, they’re eating only junk food or take-out, or they’re not getting enough sleep or going to the gym on a regular basis.
When you’re being pushed away by someone you love, it can be helpful to do some little things for them. You can meal prep a few ingredients for them so they have healthy lunches to bring to the office and don’t have to worry or think about that. You can drop off a coffee at their work if you are in the area or maybe you both work from home and so it’s easy for you to bring them their favorite latte. You can do their laundry and clean up the kitchen or do a chore that they usually do.
Anything that can lighten the load for them and help them feel less stressed out will be a huge help. They’ll know that you’re there for them and they’ll appreciate the help… even if they don’t say it right away because they’re really upset right now.
3.) Plan a few date nights
Okay, so the last thing on your mind when you’re being pushed away by someone you love is planning some date nights. You don’t even care about a magical, romantic evening. You just want them to talk to you again and treat you the amazing way that they always have.
But maybe planning a few date nights will help them feel normal and happy again, or at least make them realize that you’re there for them and you’re not going anywhere.
It’s hard to imagine that if you did this, your boyfriend or husband wouldn’t appreciate the effort and be in a good mood when you go out to dinner or to a movie. It might be enough to snap him out of his funk and his bad mood and he might be ready to share with you what is happening in his life and the reason that he’s been pushing you away.
4.) Suggest that he talk to a good friend or family member
In a perfect scenario, your partner would always talk to you about everything and anything. He would never even think about pushing you away and would never do that.
Of course, nothing is perfect, and you might experience a rough point in your relationship where you are being pushed way by someone you love. It’s not your fault, it’s not his fault – these things just happen sometimes (even though they are difficult to deal with).
When you are being pushed away by someone you love, there’s another thing that you can do: suggest that he talks to a good friend or a family member.
This is a good idea because you’re showing that you care and that you want him to talk to someone. Sure, ideally, he would talk to you, but you really want him to have a discussion with anyone that he wants to and that he feels close to. When something difficult is going on, talking it out is really the only way to deal with it and start to heal.
5.) Tell him that you want to help, no matter what
When you’re being pushed away by someone you love, it can be hard to figure out what you should do. Should you say that he definitely has to tell you what he’s upset about and why he’s ignoring you? Should you demand that he do this and give him an ultimatum, saying that the relationship is over if he doesn’t talk to you?
Those might not be the greatest ways to handle this, although of course people would understand how upset and frustrated you are with the situation.
Instead, tell him that you want to help, no matter what. Be open and honest and share that you are there for him and you love him and you want to be the one who is there with him on this journey. He might not open up right away, but eventually, it’s very likely that he will, and he’ll be glad that you didn’t give up on him.
Being pushed away by someone you love is never easy. It hurts, it’s confusing, and it’s complicated. If a friend was going through this, you might tell her that her partner absolutely needs to confide in her or the relationship isn’t as solid as she thought that it was, but things feel different when you’re the one going through them.
Being in a long-term relationship means sharing your feelings with each other, even when the going gets tough, and so you both need to be there for each other during this rough spot in what is otherwise a great relationship. If you do these 5 things, it might take a while, but it’s very possible that you two can get back to where you were before.