Ever wonder when you're sitting on the tube, why the girl opposite you who has been fixated on her mobile phone keeps blushing and smiling secretively?
Well, it's one of two things, either she's got a kindle app on her phone and she's reading 50 Shades of Grey, or she's sexting naughty two-liners to her lover! Don't you wish you were her? She's the happiest one in the whole carriage, isn't she?
Sexting can be a fun way to express yourself to someone you trust – trust being the most important word here. Let's face it, you can't ever guarantee that what you think is a private exchange of risque text messages isn't being shared around a whole class of hormonal boys, or being forwarded to all of his workmates, unless you truly trust him!
God forbid if you've passed amateur level and have already started text rude picture messages… it could be disastrous for you. I may sound a bit old-school when I say this, but sexting is best kept to couples in relationships, but hey – it's your funeral.
The Unwritten Rules of Sexting
- Is it legal? Make sure that the recipient of your sexts is of legal age, and that you are too, especially if the content is likely to get explicit. Text message don't just go away, there will always be a permanent record of them on the hard drive of your phone, and his. It's really not worth the risk.
- Prepare for the worst. Make sure you are completely comfortable with what you are sending, even in the event that your messages are read by the wrong person. You may trust your boyfriend entirely, but you can't control whether or not his mother picks up his phone without him knowing and reads his messages – Aargh! You never know who is reading over his shoulder either…
- Don't be shy of telling a porker! There's absolutely nothing wrong with lying in sexts. If he's wants to know what you're wearing for example, don't tell him what you're actually wearing… unless it's going to turn him on! He doesn't necessarily want to know that you're wearing a onesie, unless it's animal print, and that you're slowly unzipping it and about to tell him what you're wearing underneath!
- Do you know him well enough? It's not the best idea to sext with a guy you barely know. He could be a total pervert and you could be encouraging his adverse behaviour without realising it. You won't be able to predict where your sexts may end up either. First think – would I sleep with this guy? If the answer is no, or that you're not sure , then sexting may not be appropriate. It is after all a substitute for phone sex, and phone sex is a substitute for actual sex. Don't forget that.
Sexting Tips and Tricks
If you're ready to go, follow this checklist of sexting tips and tricks to make sure you get the most pleasure from your sexting fun!
- Set the Scene – A sext conversation can vary greatly in tone, and it's up to you to set it on the right path from the beginning. What are you looking for? Romance and sensuality? Raw animal passion? Kinky and risque? Your guy will follow your lead, all you have to do is set the scene by texting him how you are feeling, what you are thinking, what you wish you were doing right now!
- Make It Clear You're Sexting – Don't leave any room for misunderstanding or awkwardness. Start off a sext session as you mean to go on and let your guy know exactly what to expect from the first sext. Imagine what you'd be doing if you were together right now and then describe it to him. Make sure he knows exactly how horny you are feeling – tell him what you want him to do to you.
- What to Sext About – You may want to share a sexy fantasy, or tell him about a naughty dream you had last night, in which he was the leading stud of course. Maybe you want to know what he enjoys most about being with you – be specific and ask direct questions – How do you like me to kiss you? Where do you like me to kiss you? Do you like it when I do this? I like it when you… and so on. Get it going and see where it leads.
- Boost Anticipation – Leave some things to the imagination. If he wants to know what you're wearing, be suggestive, don't tell him everything, focus on the sexy bits but don't be too obvious – Oh I'm just wearing that loose top I like to wear around the house, you know, the sheer purple one. Lol, my knickers match! Am I wearing jeans? No. A bra? What do you think? Try splitting sexts down the middle so that he has to wait to read the rest of it…
- Let Him in on a Few Secrets – Make it intimate by sharing sexy nuggets of information you know he'll appreciate. My knickers were wet in the meeting, all I could think about was this morning, you were amazing! Hi babe, on my way to work, it's freezing, make sure you wrap up, my nipples are like bullets!
- Sexting in the Same Room – Turn up the heat by sexting when you're in the same room and other people are there. Perhaps you're having dinner with friends and you send a few sneaky sexts over the table. Perhaps you're in class together, or a meeting. Maybe you are on the bus or the train. Sexting with other people around can be thrilling and very sexy!
- Take It Slow – Savour each sext, there's no need to answer each one immediately… make him wait, turn up the tension. Think about each sext, construct it so that it's a work of art, something you know is really going to do the trick. This isn't like ordinary texting where you swipe out the first thing that comes to your mind. Take your time and enjoy yourself. Be creative.
- Don't Give It All Away at Once – Like anything in life, things taste so much better when you have had to wait or work for it. This applies to your sexy description, and to any picture messages you may want to send – only give a fraction and let his imagination work the rest. it will be much more exciting for both of you. Play hard to get…
- Develop Your Own Dirty Talk Language – Make the most of a small space and use creative acronyms. He will have to work a bit harder to figure them out which will increase the tension and excitement. If you know each other well enough it should work well. You can have shortened code names for the things you're in to – IAYM (I am your master!) GYCO (Get your cock out!) BJ4UL8R x (Blow job for you later x).
- Narrate It As You Act It Out – If you really don't know what to sext simply tell him what you're doing – I'm slipping my hand up my skirt, my fingers are sliding into my knickers, You made me all wet! Be as graphic as you dare…