In Bed

How To Avoid Being His Booty Call

Most women want to be more than just a booty call on a Friday night. Learn how to avoid being his booty call and getting stuck in this type of relationship.

Sometimes, through no conscious fault of your own, you get stuck being a guy’s 2am booty call on a Friday or Saturday night even though you started things wanting to be so much more. Whether you realize it or not, the things you do in the beginning of a relationship can determine how you’re perceived in their eyes.

I was once stuck on a guy I really liked and wanted a real relationship with when all he wanted was to hook up after he failed at picking up someone new at the bars ever weekend. I never knew where I went wrong.

It wasn’t until I decided to ditch the loser that I realized where things had gone amiss. Once I was out of his booty-calling clutches, I was finally able to understand all of the things I did wrong. If you want to avoid making the same mistakes I did and becoming nothing more than a slam piece when he’s drunk and lonely, here are some tips for you.

1. Don’t sleep with him right away

Close-up portrait of a beautiful man and woman in love

One of the biggest mistakes women make when they want to date someone instead of being a booty call is to sleep with the guy right away. While I have nothing against those who want to get to the good stuff, if you really want a real relationship with someone, that part should wait. Otherwise, they might get the idea that all you want to do is hop into bed with them—and they’re fine with keeping a relationship at this level and not investing more in it. Don’t let that happen by making yourself a three date rule.


He'll give his heart to the first woman who does this...


2. Set your standards

Make a mental note of your standards. You can even write them down somewhere if you really want. In order to avoid being his 2am booty call, you have to have higher standards for yourself than just being available for sex. Tell yourself that he has to treat you a certain way, and you’ll soon realize that you just won’t accept less.

3. Make your expectations known

Don’t just keep these things to yourself either. Tell him! After hanging out a couple of times, just tell him what you’re looking for. Communication is a huge part of any relationship and is especially important in the beginning. If he knows you’re looking for more than just a hook up, he’ll be less likely to use you as such.

4. Determine what he wants

So, you’ve told him what you want out of the two of you getting together, now it’s his turn to spill. It may be harder for a guy to open up about what he’s looking for, but most of the time, if you’re blunt enough to just ask him, he’ll mutter something that resembles an acceptable answer. Just don’t let his answer confuse you too much—anything less than what you want and you may end up in booty call territory.

5. Don’t pick up your phone after midnight

Girl lying in bed and looking at her phone

Even that’s cutting it a bit late depending on how late you’re normally up. If the two of you don’t have plans to see each other and he just wants you over to hang out for the night, don’t do it.

No matter how cute he’s being and what sweet words he’s typing into his phone, anything after midnight is his way of saying, “I’m horny and want you to come and fix that.” Ignore the text if it’s him and answer in the morning.

6. Don’t focus your ‘conversations’ talking about sex

Sure, your guy might give you a little extra attention and think you’re really cool if you want to talk about sex because, well, he loves sex! But, if that’s all the two of you have to talk about, he’s going to get the wrong idea.

Some of your conversations can mention sex and be really flirty, but the bulk of your communication should be getting to know each other outside of the physical stuff or you run the risk of becoming a booty call.

7. Pay attention to what he says and does

There’s a chance that he is telling you or showing you that he really doesn’t care for you in any way beyond just banging you. He can say he wants a serious relationship, but if his actions don’t match that, he doesn’t.

In order to avoid being his booty call, you have to be willing to be on the lookout for any red flagged behavior. If he doesn’t make plans too far in advance but calls that night to hang out, it could turn into a booty call really quickly.

8. Go out for dates

Netflix and chill may sound really tempting and fun, but it’s not a real date and will usually turn into sex at some point. Make it a point to go out on a date at least once a week to dinner, a movie, mini golfing or anything else that involves the public. Moving away from being physically intimate will avoid putting you in his mind as a booty call type of girl.

9. Meet the people in his life

Happy friends having fun in pub watching sport in TV together drinking beer cheering for team

Guys don’t like to make a booty call out of people his friends and family have met. If you know he’s having a night in with the guys, make a point to stop over and drop off some chicken wings or a pizza. Not only does this make you look good in his and their eyes, but you’ll have the opportunity to meet some of his friends without making it completely obvious.

10. Cut him loose and walk away

If you’ve done all of these things and yet he still seems to think that calling or texting you at 2am is going to get him some action, get rid of him. You should never hold onto a man who isn’t meeting your needs. You have to know when enough is enough and walk away. If he really wants you, he’ll come crawling back with a new attitude.

Being a booty call isn’t exactly every girl’s dream. Avoid being his late night bang by following these golden rules. Do you have your own tactics for slipping past his booty call phase and heading straight for being his girlfriend?

About the author

Bella Pope

Just a small town gal fighting my way through this seemingly endless war called life. Writer. Reader. Guitar Player. Craft Enthusiast. Workout Junky. Wannabe Chef. My passion for helping others through words transcends any other aspect in my life.

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