A secret sex fetish is an unusual and heightened sexual preference that is needed in order to get someone off. Most men and women have certain sexual signifiers that turn them on, but when they absolutely need it in order to be fully sexually fulfilled, that is when you know it is a fetish.
The trouble is that many fetishes are easily hidden from a partner because all a man has to do is play out the fetish or fantasy in his head during sex, and you are none the wiser. Or worse, they go elsewhere to live out their freaky fetish desires! If you think your guy has a fetish, maybe you'd like to understand and get involved?
There are different levels of sexual fetish. What was once considered obscene has now become the ordinary because men and women have online access to share their fetishes, and the ability and freedom to discover that there are whole communities of people with the same sexual motivations.
Of course, some fetishes reach to levels of unacceptability like cannibalism which is a sexual attraction to the idea of killing and eating another human being (yikes). Here are 5 likely secret guy fetishes that your could actually get into…
1. Voyeurism & Exhibitionism
What is it? He likes to have sex in the presence of other people, or he likes to watch other people having sex. It's actually quite a popular one, and very erotic.
It's the sort of thing you might experience during a raunchy dream and then wake thinking – Wow, that was interesting! – but perhaps not necessarily consider playing out in real life. If he has this fetish, though, he wants to play it out in real life!
Warning signs… Ever caught your man spying on you while you were getting undressed? Does he seem extra turned on when having sex with you while watching porn? Does he have a tendency to consistently grope you in public?
Try it… It's not so weird.Get into the habit of leaving the bathroom door open when you shower… Suggest having sex with him up against the window with the blinds up…
If you're feeling particularly adventurous, invite another couple into your bedroom! Or if you're not feeling particularly adventurous find a porn channel you can get into too, and do it doggy style in front of the telly so he has a good view of you and the couple on the telly.
What is it? Known as a high-class fetish, this involves a man getting off on arranging for his wife/partner to have passionate, hot sex with another man, usually a very fit and muscular man.
The pleasure is derived from a sort of mental sadomasochism and is enhanced when the woman develops an intellectual/emotional connection with the other man, which in turn increases the pleasure/pain he is experiencing that gets him off.
Warning signs… Does your man show an unusual interest when you talk about other guys? Does he encourage situations where you have the opportunity to mix socially with attractive men even though you can tell it hurts him?
Try it… If this is your guy's fetish, you may not feel comfortable to sleep with other men, but perhaps you could indulge him by taking part in role-playing?
Turn him on with mental masturbation, play with his mind if this is what he wants. It's a tricky one because you don't exactly want to hurt someone you care about, but if this is specifically what turns him on – each to their own eh?
What is it? This is sexual arousal through expression using obscene language, and the obscene telling of stories.
Warning signs… Your guy likes to call you a ‘whore' and a ‘nasty b*tch' in bed and uses the F word a lot. Or he just tends to be very verbal in sexual situations. Actually, a common sign is him enjoying phone sex!
Try it… It might seem distasteful, but if it's what gets your guy off, there's no harm in getting involved to a level you feel comfortable with. Join in by telling him sexy stories of obscene fantasies you might have, using language scraped from the bottom of the barrel!
The stories can be true or fictional, it's the obscenity that matters, so get creative! If you don't like being called names in bed, why not adopt a sexual ‘personality'? That way it's not you he is referring to, it's your nymphic duplex self!
What is it? Foot fetishism is where a guy gets turns on by women's feet. This may include watching women wearing high heels, touching and massaging women's feet, or even licking, sucking and smelling them!
Warning signs… He shows a pronounced sexual interest in women's feet or footwear. Bear in mind that men don't generally notice women's feet. In non-fetish situations, a man may like high heels because it makes a woman's legs look sexy, or he associates it with some other sexual fantasy like domination or high-class h*oker. But if you guy is showing a consistent interest in your feet, or any woman's feet, then he is probably displaying signs of a foot fetish.
Try it… Encourage his interest and show that you can handle it by keeping your feet well-pedicured. Let him get up close and personal and benefit from a foot massage! Wear shoes or accessories that draw attention to and accentuate the shape of your feet, paying attention to things like the arch or your foot, toes and toenails.
Oh, and make a point of using your feet as a visual stimulant during sex… rub them against him, perhaps even go as far as to give him a foot job! that's masturbation using your bare or stocking-attired feet instead of your hands.
5. Media Fetish
What is it? An attraction to different sexual-related materials, like leather, PVC, latex, silk, fur, rubber etc.
Warning signs… Does your guy get excited at the thought of playing dominatrix role-play games or get particularly excited when you wear certain clothing? You'll notice by observing his gaze. Is it on your exposed skin or the skin that is restricted or hidden beneath the fetish material? If it's the latter then it is the material that's doing it for him.
Try it… Men with this fetish are in love with the way a woman's body moves in these materials. If his attraction is directed towards materials such as leather or PVC then the attraction is about seeing the body restricted by these materials and he probably likes it tight and shiny.
If he prefers silks and furs, then the attraction is more directed at the fluidity and the movement of a woman's curves beneath the material. You can get him off by wearing outfits or items in these materials but not taking them off during sex, to eroticise the experience for both of you.
Secret guy fetishes can sound scary, but don't worry, it can and should be just one more way to make your sex life more enticing and fun! We covered only a couple of them, but there are a lot more. Tell us, did you have a crazy fetish experience with you man?