In Bed

8 Tips on How to Be Amazing in Bed: A Man’s Perspective

When it comes to sex we automatically assume that men love any kind of sex, right? Right! But what makes a woman amazing in bed?

If you think all men love sex whether it is the boring old missionary position or doggy style, you’re right. But there are some things that make women better in bed! A man will rarely tell you when you’re awful in bed, because he’s still fulfilling his sexual needs… but according to a group of my close male friends who were more than willing to spill the beans, not all women are wonderful at sex and “it takes more than just lying on the bed with your legs splayed open” (sic).

Do you fear that you’re not pleasuring your man enough? Do you think he gets bored in bed? Are you not very sexually experienced? Are you shy? According to my male friends – you don’t need to be some kind of freaky flexible sex thing in bed and they all but wholeheartedly agreed that enthusiasm and energy trumps complicated sexual positions turning weird and wonderful tricks. The thing about sex is that it can become routine and if you don’t care, it just becomes a thing that you do! All relationships are based on give-and-take, and the same goes for sex.

Men love women who initiate sex, but in reality we rarely do. Perhaps we’re too shy, perhaps we think he’s not interested, perhaps we just can’t be bothered…but at the end of the day if you really want to get him going, you need to be unpredictable and pounce on him when he’s least expecting it! And a man who is sexually satisfied and happy in a relationship will never leave you!

So what is it that men love? Do they want you all tied up in bondage gear? Do they want you to participate in a threesome?

The answer is “no.” It’s much simpler than this.

#1 Sexual Fantasy

Collar erotica

If your guy tells you that he has no sexual fantasy, he’s so lying. But before you get angry with the poor guy about lying, can you really blame him? Honestly, if he told you of his sexual fantasies, would you accept it? Would you do them?

He doesn’t tell you these things because he’s worried about your reaction. If you really want to know his fantasies, you’ve got to be prepared – remember they’re only fantasies and, more often than not, fantasies don’t become reality.

You asked, so you need to go in with an open mind. And if you really want to know his sexual fantasy secrets conjure up your own fantasy first and try and coax it out of him. And who knows, if they’re not too wild and aren’t going to hurt anyone, you may even get the chance to try them out.

Men love sexy dirty talk, so this is also a great way to take them by surprise and initiate sex (you don’t need to bother about getting him in the mood, he already is).

#2 They Want You to Take Control

According to my male friends and my husband, there’s nothing hotter than a woman who knows what she’s after and there are a few different ways that you can communicate this to your guy. Control means taking initiative – make the first move; it doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to whip out all the chains and handcuffs and boss them around (but if you really wanted to do this, it would be a bonus!).

Taking control in bed could simply mean pushing your man down onto the bed and taking him by surprise. Pin his arms behind him (he’s not going to refuse) and straddle him on top. All the men I’ve talked to about this agree that it’s sexy when a woman takes control of the sex position. Add a little bit more spice with some dirty talk and you’ll really get him hot under the collar.

#3 Test New Sex Positions

On the theme of taking control and initiative, men love it when you express interest in trying out new sex positions. It could be anything you imagine – sex in the Jacuzzi, sex standing up, doggy style, using sex toys… and even if these sex positions fail to work properly, men don’t care because they still find it a real turn on. When men know you want to get adventurous, there’s more excitement.

#4 Tell Your Guy What To Do

Cute woman and handsome man are hugging each other

It’s not that they don’t know what to do – they know very well in fact it’s just that they want more instruction from you mostly because they love to hear you make noise when you’re being pleasured.

When he’s engaging in foreplay move his hands to where you like it and guide him slowly and when he hits the spot make sure you respond with encouraging words and moans. You’ll not only get him wanting more, you’ll also ensure better orgasms for you in the future – it’s a win-win situation.

#5 Men Want to Watch You

You’ve probably already gathered this from men’s penchant for porn, but it’s true; visual stimulation during sex and foreplay really gets a guy going. They love to watch you move and this really heats things up for both of you. Try choosing different sex positions such as the cowgirl or the reverse cowgirl so they can get a real good look at you while you’re having sex.

Mirrors also work if they’ve been strategically placed and this way they can get a first row view of all the action. If you’re really feeling brave, allow your man watch you while you play with yourself – this is going to drive him wild with passion. But whatever you do, don’t allow him to fondle or kiss you while you do so to ensure he really gets aroused and worked up. If you’re game with masturbating in front of him, it’s going to be of a big benefit to you too – he’ll see first hand what turns you on and there will be no him fumbling around in the future or disappointing foreplay.

#6 Men on your Pubic Hair

Well it’s no surprise that men are big believers in the less is more look when it comes down to your nether regions. But in saying all of this, they like change – yeah I was surprised too! Men like change a lot it would seem and it keeps them guessing so don’t just stick to one style down there. Perhaps you can do a Brazilian one day, a full wax another or a tidy triangle. According to my male buddies it keeps them intrigued… who would have thought?

#7 Be Vocal

Sensual couple in bedroom

Are you a screamer? If yes, this is great because men love hearing the moans and groans of pleasure from their partners. Not only are men visual, but they’re also very aural, and loud sex is proof enough that their partner is enjoying herself and when you’re turned on and feeling aroused, men get even more turned on.

And if you’re not into loud sex, try it! You’ll be surprised how liberated it can make you feel.

#8 Men Do Love Sexy Lingerie

Of course they do; it’s no myth. While you appreciate the material and the fine lace, he appreciates how hot you look. Sexy lingerie turns a man on like there’s no tomorrow and this could be compared to a young child ripping into their Christmas present.

Go out and treat yourself to some sexy beautiful lingerie – they’ll appreciate it – but don’t feel under duress to don it all the time because men also find simple sexy; a pair of black panties and nothing else will also suffice.

While you should never allow your man to dictate your behavior in bed, you do need to take his needs into consideration. By nature, men are very sexual creatures. They don’t expect you to do anything outrageous or strange, but a little bit of cowgirl “heehaw” now and then won’t go amiss either. Remember a healthy happy relationship is one where there’s a good sexual relationship and a lot of intimacy.

About the author

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Victoria

Victoria loves life, people and travel and writes for YouQueen’s Love and Sex sections. She loves to laugh, dance and cook and has a penchant for dessert. Her life is hectic and often a little crazy but this is her driving force.

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