In Bed

How Guys Really Feel About One Night Stands

Do men look down on women who have one night stands? Will a one night stand ever lead to a relationship? How do men feel about one night stands in general?

Men have a lot of thoughts regarding one night stands and, the truth is, each guy is different. What one man believes to be the case regarding one night stands is not what another man believes.

However, a lot of men agree on some things, and below you find some of the reasoning men have around one night stands.

If it’s good, it won’t be a one night stand


Most men don’t get sex as often as they’d like if they are single. That means that if they have any interest in dating you, or the sex was great, chances are they will call you and do it again.

Them losing interest just because they had sex with you? Probably not.

However, if you want them for more than sex, you should make it clear from the beginning that if they aren’t giving you what they want, you won’t give them sex.

That’s why you should wait a little if you don’t want just sex. If men lose interest after sex, chances are they weren’t all that into you in the first place.

The exception to the rule

Of course, some men get laid all the time, or they only care to get laid if there is no hassle whatsoever. They’d never care to have sex again and again with the same woman as they know it might lead to complications (such as the woman wanting more).

They are enjoying their freedom at the moment, and no sex, no matter how good, will make them sacrifice it.

Also, some men like the chase, and believe that if you have sex on a first date, you aren’t interested in anything more than sex. Men sort of want to feel like they conquered you.

If you give in too soon, they don’t feel that the price is that big, like you’re nullifying your own worth.

Do men get bored with one night stands?

one night stand

Yes. While they have periods in their life when they want to play around and are focused on things other than having a relationship, only having sex with strangers can get boring.

There’s no time to develop intimacy nor get to know each other’s sexual preferences.

To change this, men either look for friends with benefits, if they really feel they can’t handle a relationship at the moment or simply don’t want one, or they enter a relationship when they meet a woman they feel right about, whether they have sex with her straightaway or not.

Do men ever feel awkward about one night stands?

Yes. Sometimes there’s sexual tension between people who know each other, be it socially or through work. It’s not unusual for them to end up in bed after an office party or a night on the town.

Afterwards, the guy might feel awkward about it though, because he either discovers there were fireworks and wants more or the sexual tension has faded and there isn’t really a proper friendship to fall back on.

There’s just that I-saw-you-naked-and-now-you’re-sitting-next-to-me-and-we-don’t-really-know-each-other feeling. Of course, if the person he slept with has feelings for him but he doesn’t, it can also get awkward.

Will men pretend to want you just to have a one night stand?

He will want you sexually. Most men don’t pretend that they are looking for a relationship when they aren’t. However, one night stands aren’t a signal that they are looking for a relationship.

You’ve had sexual tension for a while, he’s flirted with you and you end up in bed one night—that’s not him saying he wants a relationship.

Some men will date you, have sex with you and disappear. Why? They discovered there wasn’t enough chemistry. Chances are, he won’t date you just to have a one night stand.

Are men anxious about one night stands?


Yep. While there may be less pressure “performing” for a woman he doesn’t know, there’s still pressure. He will want to please you. He will want to walk away thinking he’s a stud.

On top of that, he needs to be sure that the condom doesn’t break, and he’s sincerely hoping you won’t turn out to be psycho or stalk him afterwards.

One night stands, especially if the person you’re having sex with is a stranger, come with a certain level of risk. And, while you can protect yourself against HIV and a plethora of other STDs using a condom, you can’t protect yourself against HPV.

It’s also tricky to protect yourself from herpes. While more than 90% of the population will get it in their mouth (and seriously, compared to missing out on kissing people, having a canker sore when you get a cold is a small price to pay.

Besides, chances are you were born with it as your parents had the right idea—they kissed!), some also get genital herpes.

Do men judge you for having one night stands?

If they have them, chances are they won’t judge you. Some men are against one night stands entirel. Others are completely open to them. Religious beliefs as well as beliefs around love and relationships play into this.

Sex on vacation

If you meet a guy when you are both on vacation, sex is usually just sex. There’s the exception to the rule (you can meet true love anywhere!), but many see vacations as the perfect time for one night stands.

All men are different and will look upon one night stands differently, but most accept and enjoy them and think women will do the same. If you are interested in dating a man long-term, go on a few dates before having sex, so there’s no misconception of what your intentions are.

If he stops contacting you after sex, it’s likely it isn’t because he was looking for a one night stand, but rather because he felt the chemistry wasn’t right. If you had mind-blowing sex and he still disappeared, who knows? There’s always that one odd cookie in the jar….

About the author

Maria Montgomery

Writer. Social Entrepreneur. Foster mommy (twins). Change maker. Foodie. Health freak. Nature lover. Creative nutcase. Blogger (Confessions of a Dizzy Blonde). A friend of mine once described me by saying “One minute she’s like the Dalai Lama, the next a dizzy blonde” and maybe that does sum me up…

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