Where Should My Man’s Ejaculate Go

Whether you're giving a hand job, a blow job or having sex without a condom, that sperm has got to go somewhere!

Whether you’re giving a hand job, a blow job or having sex without a condom, that sperm has got to go somewhere! So, where should his ejaculate go?

Ever wondered what other couples do with it?  Or what guys do when they masturbate?  I’ve had one or two rather strange incidents in my time, and so I thought it would be interesting to do a little research and find out what is really going on in the world…

It turns out…

It turns out that a common pet-hate among women is a guy pulling out and ejaculating all over the bed sheets. Especially when it’s on the side the woman has to sleep on afterwards!  It’s not that we’re clean freaks, but it can be a bit inconvenient having to change the bed after every sex session because the guy has messed up the sheets again.

That’s why I used to always insist on using condoms. Not for safe sex, because I was in a long-term relationship and on the pill – but because I didn’t want my washing machine running every day of the week!  I didn’t really like the feeling of it seeping out and running down my leg afterwards if he had come inside of me either.

Then one glorious day I met a guy who quite willingly would pull out upon climax, come into his hands and then reach for a tissue.  He really did spoil me.  I remember the first time it happened. I sat up in bed and marveled his efficiency and consideration, what a gent!

Another guy I saw for a short period of time leaped out of bed during sex and stood rather suspiciously with his back to me.  When I asked him what on earth he was doing he turned around and asked for a tissue.  I assumed he had come into his hands, but I was mistaken.  The guy had literally pulled his foreskin right up over the head of his penis. He pinched it tight at the top trapping all the sperm inside. I was fascinated, if not ever-so-slightly grossed out.

The worst of my ejaculation experiences

It happened with a guy who not only pulled out and came all over my stomach… I propped myself up on my elbows looking at my belly in disgust; but then he proceeded to rub it in like cream!  I froze in horror and just had to let him do his thing until I could excuse myself to go to the bathroom, and then when I was up there I had a big debate with myself as to whether I would offend him if I had a shower.

Obviously this was something he was used to doing. Maybe it was some kind of sexy territorial thing that turned him on. In that case I didn’t want to pour cold water on his fantastic sexual experience with me!  I ended up coming back downstairs, having done nothing but sit on the loo and watch the sticky mess dry up. I climbed into bed with him and prayed it wouldn’t leave an awful smell on me in the morning.  It didn’t, in case you’re wondering, sperm actually dries up completely on your skin without a trace of it ever being there – phew!

To check that I’m not just attracted to men with freakish cum-habits, I decided to ask around and find out what other people are doing. I have listed the results below, for you to read through if you dare…

Hand job and Blowjob

Where should his ejaculate go? Hm… it’s up to you two.

Many women are disgusted by getting sperm anywhere near their face or mouth. Don’t blame him for his desires. Blame porn for high expectations of women. Nevertheless, swallowing is totally up to you.

There’s so much more you can learn about the art of blowjobs that are way beyond the scope of this article. That’s why we at YouQueen recommend you read Jack’s Blowjob Lessons, the bestselling step-by-step guide to giving killer blow jobs.

Read on 23 tips and trick on how to give your guy the best hand job ever. Where should his ejaculate go afterwards? Well, you tell us.

What are other people doing with it

  • Quite a few guys tend to masturbate in the shower where it can all conveniently be washed away.  I like this idea, but we can’t always be in the shower when we are having sex, can we?
  • A designated sock appears to be a popular tool for the self-masturbation aftermath.  I guess couples could have a designated flannel beside the bed, a pink one of course, but you would risk perhaps feeling like an old married couple when this becomes your routine.  Just remember to wash it every now and then…
  • Couples I spoke to simply tend to have tissues at hand.  One girl explained to me that when her boyfriend pulls out he tends to ejaculate to the right, perhaps it’s the way his penis bends?  So the sperm always ends up in the same area on her leg.  She simply got into the habit of wiping it off with a tissue afterwards.  Sounds simple enough.
  • There are men who ejaculate into their boxers.  I’ve even been out with one of them!  When I wasn’t in the mood for penetration he would dry-hump me with his boxers on… amusing, then come in his pants, and go to sleep.  Personally I think its a bit gross to leave your boxers on afterwards, but each to their own…
  • I don’t know if one guy who said he comes on his hand and then licks it off was just joking… I do hope so!
  • A very disgusting habit… one guy aims at the wall next to his bed.  Others come on the carpet… what?!

Interesting Fact

Have you ever wondered why his sperm dribbles back out of you after having sex? Why it sometimes continues to dribble out for the next day or so?  I have always been quite fascinated at how a guy’s sperm can seem all gloopy when it initially comes out. This is more evident if he’s cuming on your belly. Then, when it seeps out of your vagina it feels more liquidly?

Apparently it is initially ejaculated as a thickish kind of jelly that is meant to hit the top of your vagina. Then the heat inside you liquidizes it in 15 minute waves, and each wave releases the sperm inside. Any semen that flows back and out of your vagina probably doesn’t contain any sperm, which all swam off to find your egg!  If you sit on the toilet you can force the excess semen out by doing kegel exercises, so you don’t have to worry about getting wet knickers on the way to work after glorious morning sex!

So, where should his ejaculate go?  Share your experiences.

About the author

Scarlett Robinson

I am inspired by the ways people interact. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. This is why I explore intimate relationships in my writing. (I’m also ever so slightly kinky.)


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  • I think you are actually in the minority today if you do not like to watch your man ejaculate. My wife as well as previous girlfriends all love to watch and even enjoy feeling in on their skin. I always get up and get a warm washcloth afterward and clean up any mess. I also offer to sleep in the wet spot if there is one. If you are disgusted by semen you are not likely to enjoy sex much and your partner certainly won’t.

    • I agree with you, it can be an acquired taste though. For some women it just takes a bit of getting used to, I think. But with the right guy semen isn’t off-putting at all, especially when you are really in the mood! It’s important to experiment and feel comfortable with your partner.

  • spray it all over me i say.. i love it and it turns my man ON knowing if he wants to spray his woman… NO Problem… seems funny yet sad to me that all women dont just LOVE it…
    well thanks ladies…Thats why I am who i am and i can tell you my man loves knowing I am up for everything…its called Dammit girl your Amazing… verbal and the more you do the better it is…

    • Its great that you’re as sexually open and free as you are. It doesn’t come naturally to all women, and if you can be that free, lucky you, and lucky for your guy too!

    • Exactly right, Kelly. It is a HUGE turn on that my girlfriend loves me to spray on her … we only go that route on special occasions, but just knowing that she loves it makes it awesome for both of us. She is a very conservative person, so just the idea that she is into it is incredibly sexy.

  • At the end of the day, if you say no to something sexually, or get grossed out by something, there’s another girl who will say yes and love it.

  • It’s what guys do! Yes it is a bit messy but nothing that a deep wipe with a tissue, a wash out and possibly a panty pad will not clean up. Just lay back and enjoy it – there are a lot of lonely ladies out there who would give their teeth to have a guy’s jiz running down their legs!

  • What I do during a masturbation session is I have a long cardboard tube like from wax paper. When its time to “offload” I push my penis into it and let it go. The cardboard absorbs it over night and there is no further problems.

  • One girl I dated didn’t mind at all that I pulled out and come all over her sheets. She said she would rather have my sperm on her sheets than inside her vagina. There was no way she wanted a kid.

  • I recently had a guy who pulled out and kept masturbating into his hand so as to capture it and not let it on me or the bed. I was a little taken aback. I wanted him to come all over me and my stomach! I couldn’t quite figure it out. Was it a respect thing? A religious upbringing thing? (catholic). All I know is I wanted his hot mess on my skin and I was disappointed when it didn’t happen. Different strokes for different folks I guess!

  • I have always felt that both semen and vaginal secretions are a celebratory part of sex, and to be enjoyed, rather than reviled. I find it odd and old-fashioned to be grossed out by the things you described getting grossed out by.

  • As a girl I have to agree, me and my boyfriend always use condoms and we’re both fine with it. It’s safe , it’s comfortable and we’re both happy to, I’m sure it won’t be much of an issue, it wasn’t for me or several of my friends.

  • I think the whole issue with women who find guys cum disgusting makes men feel shameful about it and it tends to really diminish the quality of the orgasam for us when we are worried about the woman’s reaction to it. Having to take the female out of the actual picture by Turning away like that one guy described in the article no doubt is not fun. When a woman I am with approaches her orgasam, I focus on her orgasam totally and what I to experience her orgasam with her. Many women will perform oral on their partner until completion and then make a fast run to a bathroom or any acceptable container nearby and proceed to spit it out dramatically as if the worst possible thing one could ever get into their mouth and disgusting beyond belief. Imagine that after your guy performed oral sex on you, he ran to the bathroom or spit out with the same type of disgust. You’d be mortified I’m sure. If you really hate ejeculate so much, than just tell me and don’t bring me to orgasam through oral. Something as defining to our essence as being a man as semen, if our lovers reject it, it feels like that they don’t actually accept as completely. We cannot help that we ejaculate, and if it’s rejected, than we become shameful by the message that our body is gross.

    • I’ve come across (!) all types of responses to semen in my life. From the lover who used my shirt to mop it up as it leaked out of her vage to the one who made me wash my hands when I got semen in them while removing the condom, to my wife who playfully rubbed it on my chest after giving me a handjob. My favourite semen mess was on the occasions when I pulled out and finished on my lover’s belly. This happened a few times because she had a boyfriend and perversely rationalised that it wasn’t cheating if I didn’t come in her vagina. I was always happy to go along with this absurd charade although I didn’t always manage to pull out. When I did, thrusting against her belly felt surprisingly good and well worth it even if it implied rejection by not wanting me to come inside her. I get chubby just thinking about it.

  • Finally someone who says it how it is. Most women pretend to like it so that they don’t hurt the men they are with. Some even claim to be more sexually open if they like cum on their bodies as if the women who are honest and say they don’t are somehow inferior sexually. I’m glad women are finally saying what they really like and dislike in sex!! Hopefully men will listen.