Are you the kind of girl who hates dating? If you cancel more first dates than you go on, there might be a problem. These 10 dating tips will help you figure out why you should take a leap of faith.
There’s no single woman out there who loves dating. It’s just not possible. Going on a first date is all about trying to figure out if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with—all before you’ve even had your first glass of wine! It can be really tough to separate the jerks from the good guys, and you’ve definitely dated your fair share of losers.
However, sometimes you’re the problem because you don’t even go on dates. You cancel them before you even give the guy a chance. Here are the 10 brutally honest reasons you cancel dates—and why you should stop.
This may sound crazy: you’re single and you want to meet someone, so how could you possibly be scared of finally meeting a guy you’re into? Unfortunately, being afraid of commitment is a real thing, and it doesn’t just affect guys. Women can experience it, too.
If you chicken out at the last minute because you can’t imagine getting close to someone again or giving them your heart, you might want to reconsider. It would really suck if you never found love because you’re afraid.
This happens a lot—especially with online dating. You send so many messages that are ignored (where do those messages go?), you talk to so many guys who never want to actually meet you in person and you generally feel like it’s a big waste of time. So, when Friday night comes, who’s going to blame you if you bail because you’d rather have a night in with Netflix and pizza?
Well, you should blame yourself, because being exhausted, frustrated and fed up with the dating world is no reason to cancel dates. You can’t assume that every guy is going to treat you badly. It just takes one!
It’s important to follow your gut—it’s there for a reason after all—but if you listened to your instincts every time you had a first date, you’d never actually go on any dates.
The truth is that you’re always going to feel nervous about a date because meeting someone new and making small talk with them is always going to be hard. Sure, if you get a weird vibe from the guy on the first date, that’s definitely enough reason to say goodbye to the idea of a second round, but don’t discount every date just because you’re nervous.
You’ve had a lousy day at the office and just can’t face dealing with anyone. You want to face-plant into a bag of candy or potato chips, and wear your sweatpants with the holes in them. It’s just one date, and you can always get another one, right? All those nights add up, and soon you’re covered in ketchup-flavored chip crumbs, wondering why you’ve had months without a date.
Where did you go to school? Which town do you call home? What are your favorite TV shows? Movies? Music? Where do you see yourself in five years? First dates are all about small talk (okay, maybe not that last question…). Sometimes you just can’t, and you would rather have a root canal done than talk to another guy about why you like your job.
While this may seem like a completely reasonable excuse at first, that’s just what it is: an excuse. You won’t die if you go on a date and make small talk. It’s honestly not the worst thing in the world. Just go, talk about the usual things, and try to make it as interesting as possible. Don’t blame the guy for asking you questions that he honestly wants to know the answers to!
Not every first date is going to be horrible. It can be really hard to remember that when all you do is go on bad dates, but if you’re canceling dates because you think things won’t go anywhere and there’s no point in trying, that’s the wrong approach.
The thing about dating is that you honestly never have a clue when you’re going to meet your match, so you might as well keep going. You’re not going to meet your dream guy sitting in your apartment watching Pretty Little Liars, and that’s a promise.
You’re over your ex-boyfriend—until you’re about to go on another date. Then, you realize how much you miss him and how much you wish every new guy was him. This really sucks, but you have to stop comparing everyone to him. They’re not him and that’s actually a good thing. If you bail on all your dates, you’re not going to end up back with your ex. You’re just going to end up alone, and where’s the fun in that?
Sometimes your day just doesn’t go as planned. You miss your alarm. You’re late for work. You have to scramble all day long to get everything done. And then you get a killer headache at 5 p.m. It’s totally natural to want to skip your date since you just can’t even deal with it right now. If you cancelled a date every time you didn’t feel well or the conditions weren’t ideal, though, you would never meet anyone.
It’s hard to focus on two guys at once and you really give them each a fair shake. If you have another date scheduled, it’s tempting to cancel tonight’s plan because you may like the other guy better.
What if you don’t? You could hate both of them. That’s definitely a possibility. You should be giving everyone a chance, and should try to get to know as many people as possible. You’ve probably heard that dating is a numbers game. Well, that’s totally true!
In this world of options, you can literally open your phone or computer and see dozens of guys right there, waiting for you to chat and maybe grab a bee. It’s pretty easy to think that it’s okay to cancel a date since there’s always going to be another guy around the online corner.
But what if this guy’s The One? It’s silly to discount a perfectly good guy because you think there’s always someone else out there. There might be… but then again, there might not. You’ve been on enough bad dates to know that that’s true.
Dating is definitely more stressful and annoying than fun, but that doesn’t mean you can’t persevere and find your one and only. Do you cancel dates last-minute for any of the reasons listed above? Do you wish you could meet your soul mate even though you hate dating? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She loves coffee, barre classes, 90s television and pop culture. She is a food blogger at A Healthy Story and shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories.
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