Sex is about exploration, enjoyment and passion, right? They don’t call it ‘Sexual appetite’ for nothing, it makes sense that much of your enjoyment during sex involves your mouth, so don’t be afraid to use it!
Can I just say something before I start? Giving and enjoying blow jobs does not make you a sl*t, but being a bit slutty about it can be hot if the mood is right. Your man will not look at you as if you are a lesser human being, and you do not have to be a porn star to do it right… in fact porn gives a totally wrong impression of what oral sex is all about, and if you are a woman and you watch porn in an attempt to learn, you will probably be put off for life. It’s not always pretty. Oral sex can be enjoyed on so many different levels by you and your partner, so why reduce it to a cheap act that feels ever-so-slightly degrading because you’re approaching it from the wrong angle and with the wrong attitude?
Giving your partner a blow job is not degrading, but if you’re not comfortable then just don’t do it. There’s no point, because he will sense your reluctance and that is one of the biggest turn-offs when it comes to giving oral sex. Nobody wants to feel like they are forcing their partner to do something they are not enjoying. Would you want your man to go down on you if he was pulling a face?
If, on the other hand, you are totally up for it and want to know how it’s done, read on my dear, read on…
Open wide… I don’t just mean your mouth! You have to open yourself up mentally and get into the mindset. So many articles tell you to imagine you’re sucking a lolly-pop… er, why on earth would you want to put yourself into the mind-frame of a twelve year old?! This is sex we’re talking about. You are not sucking a Popsicle, you are sliding your lips down the nice, thick shaft of a sexual organ!
One thing that should be addressed before you start; giving a man oral sex isn’t exactly lady-like, is it? There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the dirty bad-girl connotations of a blow job. You can be guaranteed that your man is fantasizing away, so you may as well join in the fantasy. The more willing you are to show you are up for a bit of naughty fun, that you’re confident, and genuinely enjoying yourself, the more likely he is to enjoy himself too.
Wear what makes you feel sexy, and create an environment you feel confident and comfortable in – be it a candle-lit bedroom oozing sensuality, or a raw grimey alleyway where you can role-play at being someone else…
Turn yourself on before you start on him… We’ve already established that it’s good to be in the right frame of mind, this could mean preparing yourself mentally before he even arrives; thinking sexy thoughts and playing with yourself can ignite the passion and desire that you need to make a blow job go from being average to amazing! Enthusiasm and desire makes all the difference, believe me.
By the time he arrives, you will be dying to unzip him and have your wicked way, but don’t dive straight in. A bit of kissing and fondling first I think, and then maybe remove some of your clothes… and just when he’s about to help you rip your underwear off, push him into a chair, back up on the sofa and start playing with yourself instead – I dare you! Watching you get yourself off in front of him will excite him to no end. He will sit and watch with greedy fascination, he may even pull his d*ck out and start playing with himself which means less work for you, just make sure he doesn’t get too excited…
When you think he’s ready stand up, walk over and pull him off his chair, and then slide down onto your knees in front of him, kissing and licking his chest as you go, rake his stomach with your red painted nails; he’ll know exactly what’s coming next.
Flex that tongue! Are you aware that your tongue is supposedly the strongest muscle in your body? Put it to good use. You can use your tongue in different ways to pleasure your partner during oral sex, but be aware that men are very different when it comes to what they like, so judge his reaction. For example there are some men who love their d*ck and balls to be licked and sucked all over, but other men are too sensitive and will flinch if you lick their balls or the head of their penis. Don’t be put off if he flinches, just make a mental note to avoid it, and then perhaps ask him later how it felt so that you can get a better understanding of what he doesn’t like and why.
Here are some of the pleasurable spots you can stimulate with your tongue;
Open wide… and this time I do mean your mouth! You might want to start by gently kissing the head of his penis, if he likes that sort of thing, and then slide your lips slowly over the head of his penis until his d*ck is in your mouth. Congratulations, your mouth is big enough and your jaw didn’t click, hooray!
Now I know this is common knowledge because every guy wants every girl to know it, but I’m going to mention it anyway… under no circumstances let your teeth get involved. Wrap your lips tightly over your gums if you must. You wouldn’t want him to nip your clit now would you? Yes that’s right, squirm in your seat girl. No teeth allowed, unless of course you’re looking for an excuse never to go down on him again… which you might well be, I mean I don’t know how hygienic your fellow is!
Now that you have him in your mouth, you can start to suck. Er… not literally though because that might hurt! You can apply a certain amount of suction I guess, maybe; best to check with your man first, but I’d say move your lips up and down with just the right amount of pressure and plenty of saliva. If you don’t know what the right amount of pressure is, come up for breath and ask with a sexy grin if he’s enjoying himself, and if he likes it harder or softer. Make sure he’s got a good view too!
You won’t need to take the entire length of his penis into your mouth if you don’t want to, you can get him off simply by licking and sucking the top end. You may want to experiment a bit and use your hand or fingers on the base of his shaft simultaneously. In fact by using your hand at the base it can act as a stopper to control the amount of penis you take in your mouth if he gets a bit carried away and starts to thrust!
Controlling your gag-reflex will help if you want to try out some of the more kinky elements of giving blow jobs, like ‘Deep-throating’. Why is it so hot? One guy said he just loves watching the entire length of his d*ck disappear inside her mouth. Another said it satisfies his urge to thrust if she can handle taking all of it down her throat. Another guy said he finds it interesting to watch how her throat bulges when he cums – each to their own! Generally guys agree it feels amazing, and if that’s what they’re saying, don’t you want to have a go?
Well maybe not, I mean how can it be pleasurable for the woman to be retching away down there? That can’t look very attractive, surely? If you do want to experiment and find new ways to make your blow job the best blow job he’s ever experienced, here are some much-needed tips…
Okay, here’s a short 6th tip. Just because you have him in your mouth, doesn’t mean you can’t stop every now and then to talk dirty to him. Make it fun, say something naughty, ask him whether he enjoys it. Communicate. Moan. Tell him how much you love being right there, right now. And don’t just communicate with your words, but also with your eyes. Many guys claim it’s extremely sexy if you lock eye contact (while having him deep) and then giving him a sexy wink ;) Give it a try and let us know how he liked your killer techniques!
For more awesome oral sex tips read our review of Jack’s Blowjob Lessons the bestselling guide on oral sex.
I am inspired by the ways people interact. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. This is why I explore intimate relationships in my writing. (I’m also ever so slightly kinky.)