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Getting mixed signals about the guy in front of you? Scared to ask him out? Don’t worry; here’s how to tell if a guy is flirting with you or not.
Flirting can be so… confusing. For example, the other day I met this really good looking guy who seemed to be genuinely interested in everything I had to say and even asked questions to encourage the conversation. I was ecstatic! The only thing was, he wasn’t giving off any body signals to go along with his curiosity.
Later, I found out he was gay, which explained the manners and polite conversation without the physical flirting.
The point here is that it can get pretty confusing trying to tell if a man is trying to flirt or just being nice. After all, have you ever said something nice to a guy just to be nice and suddenly he’s hitting on you because he thinks you’re interested? It’s a pretty awkward situation.
Before you give up and throw in the towel, though, consider these 12 signs of flirting. If the guy in front of you is doing any of these twelve things (particularly in combination), then he’s probably flirting with you. So, with no further ado, here’s how to tell if a guy is flirting with you:
Some men naturally have good manners, and looking a person in the eyes when you’re speaking to them is one of those things that constitutes as good manners. But if this is combined with some of the other body movements listed below, you could be being flirted with.
One important thing to look for when a man is looking into your eyes is whether or not he’s smiling or his eyes are twinkling. Yes, you know what I’m talking about. When a man is flirting with you, you can see it in his eyes. It’s almost like he only has eyes for you, and nobody else in the room matters.
Any man who’s flirting with you will find an excuse to talk with you. Most often he’ll think of something you chatted about last time you saw him and carry on with the conversation. If this is your first time meeting, he’ll ask about your necklace, your hair color, tell you that you have beautiful eyes…etc.
Or, if he’s just a bit too shy for all the compliments, he’ll simply find some other reason to keep the conversation going.
A man who is interested in you and is flirting with you will perk up when he sees you. He will hold his head higher, he’ll smile brighter, and he’ll seem ten times more cheerful than he had been the moment before he noticed you walk in the room.
Trust me, if he’s interested in you, he’ll be happy to see you!
Men are territorial. Seriously, it’s an alpha thing. Have you ever seen how possessive a man can get towards you when another guy looks at you? Have you ever wondered why guys move in closer when they’re competing for your attention?
I’m going to tell you a story. As a barista, I’ve seen many different types of men, and I can always tell the ones who are interested in me versus the ones who aren’t. I used to have these two guys come in; they were friends and had known each other a while. Now mind you, neither of them were interested in me…no, neither of them! However, they were at that eighteen to twenty year old stage, which in a male’s life means they’re full of testosterone and have no flipping idea what to do with it.
The scene would go something like this. One of them would come in first, buy a drink and make a little small talk (kind of like I’m a bartender). The other would come in a little later to meet him and buy a drink and make some small talk, too.
Here’s where it gets fun!
So, the second guy would tell me about something new in his life (a new camera or a new skateboard or something he put on youtube…something) and I would appropriately “Oooh!” and “Ahhh!” over it.
The first guy would here the conversation and come back up to the counter beside him and point out something new HE had, too! I would also do the appropriate “Oooh!” and “Ahhh!” Not to be one-upped, the second guy would turn to me, step in closer, and tell me about yet another new thing he had. In which case the first guy would step in closer and relay something of HIS that was new.
This alpha battle continued as long as I kept giving their egos the fuel by being interested in whatever they were telling me about. When I claimed I had to get back to work, they’d scoot off to their table and talk about an entirely different subject.
The point is, as each of them were trying to maintain my attention, they moved in close to me (like “marking their territory”).
When a man is flirting with you, you’ll notice that he moves in close to you. You’ll see that double if a good looking guy walks by or also comes up to talk to you. It’s a territory thing.
Its human nature that we want to touch something pretty we like. I myself enjoy the feel of suede, stone walls, and a hairy chest. Of course, if I’m flirting with a guy I don’t go up and start rubbing on his chest hair (that’s just creepy), but I will lightly touch his arm as I laugh, or squeeze his bicep gently as I say goodbye.
Men do this, too. They might not squeeze your bicep, but they will touch your shoulder if they’re standing beside you. If a man is flirting with you, he’ll find a subtle way to make contact with you. Your reaction will tell him if it’s okay to keep flirting.
Sometimes, men aren’t so clever and graceful when they flirt. It’s like Superman versus Clark Kent. Not all men are a suave and seductive as Superman, which is really okay. I myself have always preferred Clark.
When a Clark Kent tries to flirt with you, he will stumble over his words, spill his drink, say something ridiculous, blush, and be scared of you the next time he sees you. It’s the most adorable thing on the planet!
So if your guy isn’t exactly Mr. Good With Words, but is instead making a complete klutz out of himself whenever he sees you, then you’re definitely being flirted with.
One of the most important signs a guy is flirting with you is that he lets his friends go on without him. Bro Code specifies (in terms not appropriate for feminine delicacies) that the guys always come first. This means, if you and he are talking, and his friends come up, you can expect him to end your conversation to go hang out with them.
Unless he’s flirting, of course.
If your guy continues to chat with you and tells his friends, “I’ll catch up with you later” (or some equivalent thereof), then you’re definitely being flirted with.
One thing I learned from my last booty call was that he was ever so charming when he hadn’t had sex in a while. He would text me to ask if I was okay, he’d ask me how my day was, how work was…etc. All the things a good guy SHOULD ask.
The same theory applies to men who are flirting with you. If a guy is genuinely interested in you (either mentally or physically), he will be interested in listening to you. Usually because he knows he has your attention if you’re talking about you. It’s true, ladies, don’t deny it. I love to tell a guy how my day was; it makes me so happy he was thoughtful enough to ask (even for a booty call).
A guy who is flirting with you doesn’t just politely ask, “How was your day?”, he asks you to elaborate on the answer. He’ll pry details out of you so he can show you he’s interested. It’s a good trick, and it works.
Of course, it’s not enough to just ask about your day; a guy who’s interested will also continue the conversation. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, he knows if he keeps the conversation going that he has a little bit of extra time with you, and second, the more you talk the more information he gets. That means he has something to ask you about the next time he sees you.
Men who are flirting become chatty with you, they listen to your words, they ask you questions, sometimes they even give you some information about themselves, too! Usually it’s something that makes him sound like a good catch.
Remember what I said about the two guys who were always competing for my attention, how they would inch in closer to me as they had their testosterone battle? Well, even without the battle, if a guy’s flirting with you he will lean in towards you as he talks.
You see, it all goes back to the alpha male marking his territory. He subconsciously wants to get in close to you so that you know he’s there. In other words, he wants to make sure you notice him just as much as he wants to be as close to you as possible so no other guy can move in.
Never forget that when a guy is flirting with you he will find another way to see you again. If he’s flirting with you at work, he’ll stop at your job every chance he gets so he can see you. If it’s at the gym, he’ll ask you casually what your usual workout days are so he can occasionally see you “by chance”.
Wherever it is, or however clever he has to be about it, if a man is interested in you he’ll find a way to see you again and he’ll continue to flirt with you as he does.
You know that “three day” rule about calling or texting? Well, occasionally men will follow that rule because they think it’s one of those rule’s you should never break. However, I’ve known plenty of guys to break that rule for someone they’re really interested in.
One of the most guaranteed signs a guy is flirting with you is that he will text you practically immediately if you give him your number. He won’t make it through the night without texting to say hi to you. Also, he wants to make sure that you have his number just in case you want to text and flirt with him, too! Of course, you aren’t going to (you want to play a little hard to get), but it’s always flattering when they text you right away, isn’t it? He’s definitely interested if he texts you right away.
So there you have, twelve guaranteed signs a guy is flirting with you. While I know there are other signs, these are the ones you can certainly be sure about. Usually, these little flirts come in combinations of two or three….eye contact and moving in close to you are the biggest indicators. Combinations are also always the best way to know if you should flirt back. So tell us, is there a special guy giving you any of these signs?
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Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.
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