Eye Contact Flirting: 8 Tricks to Getting Guys to Approach You

Too shy to go up and talk to a guy? Don’t worry. Use these 8 eye contact flirting tips and get the guy you like to approach you without saying a word.

Too shy to go up and talk to a guy? Don’t worry. Use these 8 eye contact flirting tips and get the guy you like to approach you without saying a word.

It happens all the time. Girl sees boy across the room. Boy isn’t sure if girl likes him, and girl is too shy to say anything. They admire each other from afar when the other isn’t watching and then leave, going their separate ways always wondering.

Not anymore. You don’t have to be brazenly forward to catch your man, but you also don’t have to sit back wishing and praying that he approaches you.

Here’s how to get him to come to you (without having to utter a word) by doing some eye contact flirting.

1. Glance at Him Briefly and Smile

When you first notice the guy you want to catch, be calm, and be short about it. This isn’t the time for an all-out staring contest. Make eye contact with him for about three seconds, smile, look down shyly, and then turn away.

First, you’ve piqued his interest. He now knows that you’ve noticed him. However, he doesn’t know what you’re thinking yet. It could have been a friendly glance, it could have been a small, hesitant flirt. He has no idea, but he’s curious.

2. Watch Him from the Corner of Your Eye

For a little while, maybe five or ten minutes, watch him out of the corner of your eye and see how often he looks at you. Don’t let him see you watching him, just be cool and continue your conversation with your friends. If he looks at you more than twice, you have the green light to continue.

3. Glance up at Him as You’re Laughing

Eye Contact Flirting: 8 Tricks to Getting Guys to Approach You

After you’ve seen him look at you a couple of times, make sure that you and your friends are having a good time and that you can look up at him as you’re laughing. When a guy sees you laughing it gives him the impression that you’re approachable and he’ll feel less “threatened” when he goes to make a move. Happy is ALWAYS attractive.

As you’re laughing, glance up at him. Make sure you give him a “personal” smile before you look away. In other words, stop laughing, continue smiling, and make sure he knows that you just smiled especially for him. This will let him know you definitely noticed him!

4. When He Smiles Back, Give Him “The Look”

If he’s interested, he will smile back. Men who are with their buddies and not looking for a date, men who are gay, men who have girlfriends who would murder them, and men who are otherwise NOT interested will not smile back (unless it’s a quick “smile and look away” out of politeness).

However, when he has been watching you as well, and he smiles back at you, give him “the look.” You know, a sexy, curved grin and a flirtatious “look up and then down and then up at him again” glance. Oh yeah, he definitely knows you’re into him now.

5. Wait a Little While

Continue as you were. Keep laughing and joking with your friends and having a good time. Every now and again look up at him and smile sweetly, but don’t be overzealous about it. Make sure he sees you glancing at him, but don’t stare. It’ll freak him out if you stare (and it’ rude).

6. As You Get Up to Leave, Make Sure He Notices

Eye Contact Flirting

I cannot stress this enough: Make sure he sees you leave. Don’t slip out with your friends while he’s at the bar getting another drink, or when he’s in the restroom; make sure he sees you leave. If he doesn’t see you get up and go, he’ll wonder what happened. More importantly, he won’t be able to get your number or know how to find you.

7. Smile and Watch Him as You Walk Out the Door

Just in case your guy is a little dense (and I’ll admit, I’ve met some pretty dense men in my day). Not only do you need to make sure he sees you walk out the door, but you need to make sure you look at him one more time as you go. I actually made this mistake the other night at a pizzeria. There was a guy in the corner locking eyes with me all night, and I was hoping he would approach me, but I got distracted with the girls and left without looking back. Rookie mistake. You have to make sure he sees you looking at him as you leave, so that he’s definitely aware you’re interested.

8. Wait and See if He Follows

If, for some unfathomable reason, your guy didn’t notice you giving him “the look” and hasn’t built up the nerve to come and follow you, you can try one last time to get him in gear. As you look at him, raise one eyebrow questioningly. If he doesn’t take the hint that you’re trying to get his attention, then you don’t need him anyway. He’s obviously very shy or very dense (both can be extremely problematic).

However, if your guy takes notice and does (finally) approach you, then it’s time to give him the real test. Sit down and have another drink with your friends, but this time ask him to join you. Get to know him a little before you give out your phone number (he might be gorgeous, but that doesn’t mean he’s not creepy).

It can be difficult to catch a man’s attention without openly talking to him. Have you ever given a guy “the look” or caught his interest by eye contact flirting?  If so, how did it turn out?

Flirting Can Be So Confusing

There can be nothing harder than initiating the first step. Opening yourself up to the chance of rejection is quite scary, but it should also be exciting. Here is what to do when you are too shy to initiate the first step.

Also, flirting can be so… confusing. Are you getting mixed signals about the guy in front of you?

One important thing to look for when a man is looking into your eyes is whether or not he’s smiling or his eyes are twinkling When a man is flirting with you, you can see it in his eyes. It’s almost like he only has eyes for you, and nobody else in the room matters.  

Here you have twelve guaranteed signs a guy is flirting with you. 

Usually, these little flirts come in combinations of two or three….eye contact and moving in close to you are the biggest indicators.


About the author


Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.


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  • I had this encounter. This guy and I were stealing glances at one another. We danced near each other. The signs were a definitely tension of attraction. I made sure he notices me leaving the area. Oh yes, he noticed

  • what if for some reason youve been trying to get him to notice your glances but hes really distracted by his friends (consideing he just got back from venezuela). I get it he proably had alot of catching up to do and he was making ne friendships at the party too. But its just if he ever did look at me it would only be for a couple of seconds and even if i tried i couldnt make the glance last. I dont rememer much because i was probably drunk but i knew he was interested its just he wasnt doing his part

  • What if you are trying to get him to be all over you but he is this bully strong headed type of guy? What do you do then?

  • so im like in love with this boy and we get on so well as mates ive liked him for so long but he has a gf but he didnt know i liked him before and doesnt know i still do.